Hello ladies,
Etiquette is important and when you do not abserve some common courtesies, you may offend some people. One piece of advice ladies: you do not want to piss off your mother in-law.
At this wedding that I attended, the bride had a very large bridal party. She had 7 BM, 5 of the BM and the flower girl was were her sisters, the ring bearer was her brother. One of the groomsmen was his brother. She didn't pay one red cent of the wedding, the groom pay for everything... 42k worth of it and she doesn't work.
At the rehearsal dinner, there were gifts for the wedding party mind you, 85% of the wedding party were his brothers and sisters. She had a handbag, some jewelry set, a personalized tank top, flip flops, an engraved customized compact mirror, potions and lotions ...about $70 dollars a bag for her sisters gifts (groom paid)
The GM gifts were some very nice personalized beer mugs. The groom also pay for her brother's tuxedo rental.
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2007-12-14 08:58:27 · 21 answers · asked by Blunt 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
At the rehearsal dinner, after she pass out all of the gifts to her dozen brothers and sisters, the MIL cam e to her with two gifts: one scrapbook of the groom from birth up to the day they met etc. and another one, a very beutiful Tifanny bracelette..... and the bride gave the MIL NOTHING!!! not even a rose, a thank you card, nothing!!!!! the bride clearly shocked that it was expected of her to present the MIL with a gift, the MIL was HUMILLIATED, furious, dissapointed. The bride then announced that the groom';s family gifts were "ordered" but didn't come on time just to cover her rear. Yeah right, no one believed that lie.
The MIL was clearly upset, said nothing and left early. She didn't spoke one single word to the bride on the ceremony or reception.
Have you ever seen someone snubbing their MIL in public?
2007-12-14 09:04:36 · update #1
She spend all that money buying presents for her sisters and brothers and "forgot" to buy her MIL a present??? WTF! The MIL gave her a Tiffany bracelet for godsake and she was empty handed. What an etiquette faux pas... you know what they say... you can take the girl out of the trailer.....
2007-12-14 09:08:44 · update #2
That is ridiculous! Our parents were the first ones we thought of when it came to buy gifts. This is one selfish bride but I'm surprised the groom didn't make sure his mother had a gift. She and her fiance have some serious apologizing to make.
2007-12-14 09:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by Peace 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Um I don't think she snubbed her MIL. How was she to know she would receive a tiffany bracelet from her. I think the MIL acted very rudely and childishly. You didn't say the girl did not say thank you, or that she expected those kinds of gifts. We did give our parents something (my husband presented the gifts to his parents and I gave them to mine) but our parents gave us a joint gift - nothing individual. I think that is a bit rare. I don't see why the groom paying for things is of any concern either. Their money is now going to be one big melting pot of finances so who cares.
Now, the main thing that got me is; the point of giving gifts is to give them unconditionally. You give a gift because you want to, not because you expect something in return. That MIL is a piece of work. How dare she act like a spoiled little brat and try to upstage the bride and ruin her son's wedding day. Luckily for the bride she married what sounds like an upstanding and generous man, who thankfully did not take cues from his mother who frankly should at the very least be slapped upside the head a few times to have some sense knocked into her. And you, taking the mother in laws side, what's up with that?
2007-12-14 18:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by JM 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please tell us or show us where in the etiquette books it says to present the MIL with a gift at the Rehearsal Dinner if she isn't part of the wedding party? That is something that I have never heard of and neither has anyone I know as well. Nor have I ever seen it done at any of the numerous weddings I have been to over the years. The only people who are to be presented with gifts are the the MOH, BM, FG, RB, GM, and BM that is it.
Did she present her parents with a gift? It doesn't sound like it. The fact that her MIL gave her a gift was her own choice. Did she also give them a wedding present? Or was the scrapbook part of it?
2007-12-14 11:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by NWIP 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I have never heard of the bride having to give the mother in law a present at the rehearsal dinner.. the rehearsal dinner is for practicing the ceremony and thanking the wedding party (whether these are friends or relatives). did the bride have a gift for her mother and not her fiance's? if not then I do not see what was rude on her part... however, it was rude of her MIL to put her on the spot by giving her such an expensive gift in public.. sounds like the mother in law was trying to show off..
2007-12-15 08:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by hitchnj 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had no idea a gift was expected for the MIL at a rehersal dinner. I have never heard that. The MIL is assuming that the bride knew it. The groom should have told her what his mother expected. If he knew??? the MiL is taking this unknown demand to control and snub and humiliate the bride. She does not like her and is clever enough to get an expensive gift to confuse people.
2007-12-14 11:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by Nora 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Actually I think MIL is worse. With all those extravagent gifts to the brother and sister, the bride should have gotten something for MIL too but MIL had no right to make a scene! Wedding planning is very complicated and people just don't think of everything. Ok well in this case maybe the bride doesn't come off so well when she's already freeloading off the groom's rich family. Well it sounds like they deserve each other and it's going to be a real fun time for the new husband.
2007-12-14 09:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
No I don't think you are wrong. She sounds completely self absorbed and probably asked you to be MOH because I can't imagine someone like that having any friends to ask. They sound like they are too immature to even get married after what you described. I would tell your mother in law to let them suck up the rest of the cost of the wedding as well. How selfish and pig headed they sound. You should also let Angie know, hiring a DJ won't make a difference with the music list. All DJ's request a music list that I know of. I don't even think I would want to go to the wedding. Since you are attending, have your free meal, hand them a card with nothing in it, and then leave. I feel sorry for you that you will have to call these two family. If it was me, I wouldn't give anything either.
2016-05-23 23:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, honey, but no bride has to buy her MIL a gift!! It is certainly traditional for the MIL to gift the bride but not the other way around. This is not a case of "trailer trash" and you sound like a b**chy troublemaker. Keep out of it. If THEIR family "tradition" is to have a gift for the MIL, then someone should have been POLITE AND CARING and informed the bride ahead of time. The groom obviously didn't think it was important so it couldn't be that crucial to anyone but you bunch of catty, gossiping shrews. I really hope you don't keep interfering with this young couple! And remember, they are a COUPLE and planned the wedding together. (And btw, it's none of YOUR business who paid for what! I think I see a green-eyed monster!!)
2007-12-14 10:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a bit extreme but I have seen it done. I am amazed on how many people have issues with there future MIL.
I was beginning to think my case was a fluke........My MIL is the sweetest person ever!
How ever, My Soon to Be's (brothers wife) thinks his whole family is against her. Which isn't totally true, but that's a whole other story. She thinks that every one plots behind her back and tries to do things that makes her upset! She wont even let our MIL take the her own grand-kids to MC D's she doesn't think she can handle them mind you she watch the other grandchild all day while the parents work! It is so sad. It made it well known that (our MIL & FIL) are always doing soemthing wrong or offending to her!
2007-12-14 09:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I never knew you were to purchase gifts for the MIL ... and usually the bride picks out most of the maids and groom picks out the groomsmen .... did he not want any of his siblings or cousins in the party .... Plus u don't give gifts to get one back u should only give a gift if it is in your heart to give one ... if u give a gift only because people expect it then you are giving the gift for the wrong reason .... and if you are giving a gift and expecting one in return and you don't get one they you got what you deserved .... i'm interested in knowing how you know all of these details... your pov sounds skewed ... you should not be concerned with this especially enough to put it on Yahoo
2007-12-14 09:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mary m 1 · 9⤊ 0⤋
They're a couple. Why is this all on the Bride? Either THEY got something for their parents or they didn't. Parent gifts are traditionally a joint gift from the couple to each set of parents.
The MIL needs not to hold this against the bride. She can tell them as a couple that she was hurt but if she is openly hostile to her son's wife it will not be good for her relationship with her grandchildren some day.
2007-12-14 09:14:03 · answer #11 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 13⤊ 0⤋