Long story short. It's a long distance relationship we're working on meeting soon. It's been over a year as friends and 8 months Dec. 28th this year as boy and girl friend. She has this local guy friend who she thinks she might have feelings for and she still loves me so she's in that stuck between two guys rut. But she's never lead me to not love or not have trust in her. So what do I do and what do we do stick it out and hope for the best or just end it now? Can our true love and yes that's what we have this far last and will it last or is it time to just call it quits? Be honest but don't be harsh. Some of you have no idea how much this hurts none at all. It's like being dead inside. And even when I talk on the phone to her there's still that distance that gap. Sucks all of it sucks. And she needs to do her part to get the communication back in our relationship. Advice. etc. I've loved her and stuck it out this far but now what?
2007-12-14 05:42:51 · 13 answers · asked by dave_83501 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Good advice so far everyone thank you. Yes it is the number one person on my myspace. Her reason for not listing me in the number one spot is her over protective dad who by the way has been to my home state and town. She doesn't want him and a few others knowing about us. If you want proof of how much she loves me check out my face book. It's under the same um email as the myspace is. She hasn't said it with words that she's chosen me over him but her actions this far back that up. Maybe I'm nuts but gosh. How do I hire some one to hurt this guy and make him back off of her? LOL teasing. You're also right and I don't care if I have to go homeless in her home town just to see her that's how far if not farther I'll go just to see her. If that ain't love I don't know what is. How can I love her so much if I've not met her? Those of you who are in love explain that one you know how it is. Wether you see them or not you still love them.
2007-12-14 06:07:25 · update #1
One major reason and I know it's true on her part for the lack of communication is she's in college, she gets busy doing things with family and friends and helping people and such. She also is one of them girls that likes alone time and I mean no phone, no internet nada. She even told me she won't answer the door when her friends come over. And she gets bouts of depression some times. You ladies can relate there I guess. So keep the advice coming. I'm sticking it out tho and she's thanked me for standing by her side like a REAL man would even with the distance. It's ruff being in love let alone having to pick between two of em.
2007-12-14 06:16:15 · update #2
Now you need to put some space in between you.....back off a little (as hard as it may seem) .....trust me
The other guy has the advantage over you because he is there in person. You have to make her really want you, so back off, and soon she will come back. When she does start saving to get the meeting planned as soon as possible so as to beat the other guy.
Start a notebook with "THE PLAN"!
Meanwhile it wouldn't hurt if you Ask Jesus into your heart to live and pray to him daily. He may answer your prayers and give you the girl. God is faithful (if you are).
2007-12-14 05:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, some of the advice is going to be harsh. We don't mean to be, but it's going to come across that way. I think that you are a bit optimistic calling this true love when you've only been talking to her for a year & haven't met her in person at all yet. It may seem like it, & maybe it is, but you'll never know until you meet face to face. People tend to put the better part of their personalities forward when they have LDRs b/c they know that it's only a computer. You don't have to deal with the rough spots as well.
Honestly? I think that there is a good chance that you'll probably lose out to the guy who is local. It may be that you & her are a better match, but very few long distance relationships can stand up against a flesh & blood relationship that is right next to you. That's just the way that some LDR work out. Just keep at it & make sure that if she were to start dating this other guy she'll be comfortable enough to tell you. Don't turn into the "other guy".
I also think that the end of your relationship may be near as you say that she's stopped communicating as well with you as she has previously. I had a long distance relationship & what you describe sounds like how I acted towards the end of the relationship. I started acting distant & eventually called it off. This isn't to say that it'll be the same for you, but I'm calling it as I see it.
Ultimately, all you can do is just stick it out & try to be there for her. Unless you can work on meeting her faster, there really isn't a whole lot that you can do.
EDIT:
I looked at your page & if it is the Elisabeth girl that you are talking to, I have to say that you may be moving a bit fast for her. You're getting way too serious too fast with the way you're describing your relationship. You have yourself down as "In a relationship" & put her as your first friend. She has herself as "single" & you aren't even in her top 20 friends at all. Sorry buddy, but I think that you are striking out there.
2007-12-14 05:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok well ive got to answers....well i dont know the whole story but, if you guys have never met...heres what happen to me...I met this girl over the phone (friend gave me her number) well i call her and it was love at first call , lol yea we talked all night everyniight we would be on the phone 24/7 i loved this girl more than anything and we never met till 3 months later into our relationship, and the day we met i was even more in love, and she was too,so i would go see her every two weeks , well two years go by and we are still together ... well we had plans (married,kids,house,where to live,jobs,kids names everything) but i met another girl and thats it i fell in love with the girl i was with at school and i got to see her everyday so maybe thats why i liked her better , so i broke up the long distance relationship and stayed with the girl from school, NOW heres my second story , i met this girl online talked to her on the phone we both talked about everything we were always on the phone and stuff but half a year went by and we never have met ,, well things started getting boring nothing to talk about, and the distance started getting to both of us, so as time went by , we kinda just fall apart... but you know what everyone is different ... But if you feel that you guys got a shot at love , then keep your head up and make sure you keep her hopes up, because even if you guys do fall apart later in life , youll be glad that you at least tried! GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-14 06:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Stitch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From sincere experience....the first thing I see is the long distance relationship. This is one of the hardest forms of a positive relationship. Briefly, yes it can be done, but for the most part (from a woman's point of view) contact is best. What would it take for her OR you to move closer to the other? That would be the biggest thing showing the commitment. If this is a brief distance and she is talking of another guy, then it sounds to me she is already letting go of you, but holding on "just in case". Yes, I know how hard it hurts and how much love expects. If you truely want something out of it and if there is absolutely any way possible-then you go to her, profess your desire for a commitment, and pursue a future of long lasting love. Sounds like a fairy tale, but even fairy tales have a bad guy. Don't let money communication or distance be your bad guy-jump-go for it. Good luck-----what do YOU want, then go for it. You won't know until you go after it.
2007-12-14 05:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by loquaciousparaiyan 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well Dave it sounds a bit like you are living a bit of a fantasy life. How in the world can you honestly say that you love each other when you've never even met. At present the best that you two are are penpals or internet chat buddies. You don't even know each other truly. I also had a long distance relationship with the lady who eventually did become my wife. We lived 2.5 hours from each other and after chatting on line did eventually met each other and after a while fall in love.When we were chatting I was obviously interested in this woman and she me but we never did or would claim that we were in love with one and other while chatting, we were honestly total strangers to each other. Anyone can pretend to be anyone or anything they want with this anonymous form of communication. Perhaps you two should meet face to face and get to know each other traits etc. before claiming to have these undying feeling of love for one and other. Can it work certainly, once you get to truly know each other. Best of luck.
2007-12-14 05:51:01 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom once told me that true love conquers all! If it is true it will survive. Maybe you should plan to see one another before you make your final decision. Let your gut tell you which path to take. If you really care about this person its worth a shot. But you need to get her to really have a conversation with you and tell her how bad you are hurting and how you guys really need to work this out. If she really cares for you this shouldnt be a problem. I hope this helps and the best of luck!
2007-12-14 05:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by stacy l 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they're out there, you just have to be optimistic and realise that just because you have been hurt, does'nt mean every guy is like that. You'll find what you're looking for, don't worry about it, just have faith in yourself and the world even though it seems hard. Remember everybody feels the way you do sometimes, but you have to fight past it. HAVE FAITH
2016-05-23 23:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance is really hard and many times doesn't work. If you really love each other it might work, but until you guys can see each other on a normal weekly-two week bases its really hard.
good luck
2007-12-14 05:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't wanna be the bearer of bad tidings but, if she has feelings for someone else long distance or not for me that would spell doom, i don't think distance will help, you only have her word really that there is nothing goin on cut your losses and run before you get hurt.
2007-12-14 05:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by shu9861 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hun, In didn't even have to read the whole thing. Long distance relationships never work out. They are never who they are in person. Take it from someone who knows.
2007-12-14 05:49:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋