We have been together for 6 months now when sex if usually very active but its not with us. He knew from the beginning that I am very sexual so I'm not sure if he has ed or if he feels inadequate. Everything else is our relationship is wonderful and he says that he is totally inlove with me. I have tried to spice things up by wearing sexy clothes or planning intimate evenings but he usually has an "excuse" that he either feels sick or is tired when I'm thinking he should be aroused. When I try to discuss it he says I'm too insecure in the relationship and just shuts it down. I'm trying to figure out if he has a problem or maybe sexually just not interested in me. I have even tried being less aggressive but if I don't initiate it we would never have sex which is ruinng my self esteem. I Love him but where do I go from here? He is 52 yrs old but I've been with older men and they didn't have this problem. Help me please. I'm frustrated and don't want to go on like this.
2007-12-14 05:26:01 · 5 answers · asked by Dana B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Did you ever ask him if he is gay?
2007-12-14 05:31:20 · answer #1 · answered by lunatic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you're gonna know for sure what the problem is, is to sit him down and have a frank discussion on exactly what the difficulty is.
Many medical conditions affect a older man's sexuality. His health may be the culprit here.
If he has hypertension or diabetes, ED can result..
There are problems with the mechanism of erection, not nessesarily arrousal,sensation, or orgasm,in other words he doesn't get firm enough even tho everything else is in place. Medications such as Viagra & Cialis are often prescribed and help, but not always 100% effective.
I get the impression that when there is sex, the act is completed......ED interfers with that or makes it impossible.
So if he's able to get and maintain a decent enough erection for sexual intercourse during the times you two are intimate, then it's not so much ED as an issue of age...I don't know how old you are but many older men do slow down...they require a longer time betweeen love-making sessions to 'recharge', stress and being tired will affect them, and they require more direct 'attention' for longer amounts of time during lovemaking......don't judge this guy by the others as there are always exceptions to the rule and your former older gentleman BF's may have been the exceptions.
If he values you he will answer your concerns truthfully, if you value him you will accept his reasons if they are honest ones, and you both will work together to deal with and improve the situation...but it won't improve if you continue to feel hurt and he avoides the subject. Good Luck.
2007-12-14 05:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime people don't feel that sex is everything in a relationship. Instead of always wanting to have sex maybe try to cuddle with and and enjoy each other's company. Some people are turned off when everythng is about sex
Tonight do something diffrent if you get a good reaction then her is where your problem lies. This could bring you guys closer it may not be that he is not attracted to you he just needs love in another way.
2007-12-14 05:40:54 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's into someone else. Maybe he's cheating on you. It's definitely got the signs
2007-12-14 05:35:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 52 its very exausting to have sexual relations. hes old. let him be! how old are you anyway?!
2007-12-14 05:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋