Have platonic ladyfriend (42) who is staying in my lounge and she likes the cider. I have been trying to take care of her but some of my mates reckon she is seeing other guys and not being straight with me. She keeps going on that she wants to go abroad with me but if she is seeing other blokes then what chance have I got? She went out last night saying she was going to see a babysitter friend of hers and didnt get back till two am in the morning. Usually we get on well but lately it is just a deafening wall of silence. I have tried being good for her and have even put my foot down about me being allowed to use my lounge whebn shes not there but she wont budge an inch on that. I am already depressed for may reasons and I dont want to lose her cos shes lovely . she already knows how I feel but she keeps hanging around the flat and just watches videos. I have tried to ghelp her so much and have rescued her from a place she is afraid of. I WONT gove up on her but can anyone help?
2007-12-14 04:59:44 · 3 answers · asked by triffikwereaphenomimalband! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, You said she was just a friend. (platonic) So why should you care what she does? It sounds to me like you want a romantic relationship with her but she doesn't want one with you. I think she is being nice to you because you are letting her stay at your place for free. You should put a stop to this. Tell her she will have to pay rent or move out because she is just using you.
2007-12-14 05:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dave G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's your platonic friend, so she can't be two timing you. It's none of your business who she sees. And you need to set your friends straight on that point.
Now if you want to change the nature of your friendship, you need to speak with her about that and let her know that you have more than just friendly feelings for her and that you are not interested in going abroad with someone who is just a friend.
This woman sounds like an alcoholic or at least someone with a lot of personal issues. You can't save her from herself. She has to want to straighten up her own life. All you will get is someone who will continue to run to you to bail her out and eventually she will come to see you as a doormat, someone she can walk all over and use as she sees fit.
It's time to let her out on her own. It hurts to see people we care about hit bottom, but sometimes that's what they need to do before they can pick themselves back up.
are you in the UK? in the US we have a group called al-anon, it's an organization that helps people who are dealing with loved ones who have alcohol and drug addictions. Contact them and talk to a few members, you may find some comfort for yourself there and some ideas on how to help your friend.
Good Luck.
2007-12-14 13:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if its a platonic lady friend... then why the heck are you getting mad at her for possibly seeing other guys. you guys arent dating. get over it!
2007-12-14 13:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋