How to relate to a child that has been molested by her female peers? Shes taking meds and she has a therapist.

Answer 1

The same way to relate to any child, only more so; unconditional love and support, treat her as a cherished equal, ALWAYS make it clear she's important to you.

The rest is details, though the other answers in this section are good details to bring up.

Answer 2

It's truly hard to relate to something like that unless you've been through it. The most that you can do is be there for her when she needs someone to be. Talking to her therapist is great but you need to know that your friends are there for you also and that this won't push them away. One of the fears after an assault is that your friends will view you differently and that they will leave you. Try to stay with her as a friend and let her know that you don't view her any differently now than you did than. Also know that she will be different in some ways and that that's to be expected. She will feel differently about other's and most of all about her self. She will need a lot of time and maybe some space to put herself back together. Try to treat her the way that you would want to be treated if it had happned to you. That's the best way to treat anyone.

Answer 3

Well all you can do is be there to support her, and talk with her and let her know that's she's safe with you. She's in the right direction in seeing a therapist and being on medication. You will never be able to relate to what has happened, but you can be a definate support system for her during this time. Unless you have ever gone through something like this, then you can relate but most often you can't if you haven't experienced it. Just work at communication and trust, and be there for her like her rock. Good luck.

Answer 4

It can be difficult and intimidating trying to help abused children, not only because of their scary experiences but because they are on a different cognitive level and think about things differently than adults. One advantage that you have is that she may relate to you a little better because it was her peers who molested her and not another adult. Overall, trust is going to be the framework for helping her. Which means not pressuring her to talk about what happened (that would be a job for the therapist) and try to be open and honest with her at all times. remember that children are still very self-centered and that is normal, so when in doubt, talk about them and focus on their feelings. The biggest aspect of molestation is the feeling of being violated and burrying anger. Show her that its ok to be angry, and help her express in it healthy ways. These are just some suggestions. good luck and I think its very commendable that you care enough to ask for suggestions on helping her. Dr. Max S.

Answer 5

Touch may be something she avoids - respect that. Only give a hug or other tough after you have asked her permission.
She needs to be treated "normal" in a group of kids.
You can offer to do something, but she needs to feel she is incharge of the decision. Allow her to take the lead or make the choice as to whether she wants to be quiet or noisy, busy or active or still.

The thing that will bother her to the core of her being is that someone took her choice away, took her ability to feel safe away from her. So, now when in the presence of others she will want to know and assure that she is in control of a situation. For her to not have the choice - say, being surprised by someone or being tickled beyond what is comfortable would feel to her as if emotionally she had been molested all over again. Allow her her personal space and her choices and her timing. But, do include her.

Answer 6

I'm glad she has a chance to work with a therapist, and that she has you (whatever your relationship with her may be) to take care of her. Although there is a natural tendency to distract a traumatised child from what has caused her pain, she does need people to acknowledge how she is feeling. So as well as just being 'normal' with her, do listen carefully to what she is saying and comment as appropriate. If she makes a remark, possibly in passing, about feeling bad, don't just let it pass - she may feel that everyone wants her just to be OK, and it will be hugely helpful if you acknowledge how it is by saying something like "you're feeling really hurt and sad" or whatever would be an appropriate observation in response to what she's said. You don't have to make a meal of it, just enough to make clear that you have heard and understood. She may or may not want to say more - don't push her one way or the other.

Other than that, just doing the things you would do with any other child of that age will be appropriate. She will still be interested in the things she always did like, and being over-cautious with her will not help her finding a way to deal with things. Don't censor films or pantomime or whatever for fear it will re-evoke the trauma - if it's something she wants to see/do, let her go/do it and be prepared to deal wth any fall-out afterwards (there may not be).

Above all, knowing that you care for her in just the way you always did and that her experience hasn't changed who she is to you will go a long way.