If a family are living on a low income?

Question

Does it benefit the child more if the mother goes back to work or stays home.

My son is year old. We have no family to help with childcare. I started a part time job when he was just 8 weeks old but I was so tired all time it just didn't work out, so I've been home looking after him since July.

My partner works full time but is on minimum wage. We have a mortgage and don't get any help with housing costs, council tax etc (so don't worry, you're not supporting us with your taxes!). We struggle really badly and can barely break even some months, its really hard.

I don't know what would be worse for my baby son - to live like this in pretty much poverty or to be left with strangers in a daycare creche if I can find a job. He's very clingy and I think we would both find it really hard (he's ever even been left with a babysitter as yet), but I know we can't go on living like this.

Do you think its better to cope with no money rather than leave a young child in daycare?

I've tried looking into working from home but most of these "earn at home" schemes are a scam - unless you have some sort of skill and can set up your own business it doesn't seem a feasible option. I tried Avon etc and never made any money!

We do get Tax Credits They are not very much but they do help a little. They will help to pay towards childcare costs (70% of childcare costs) if I find a job. But the idea of leaving him is just heartbreaking. He's my entire life.

I don't have a career - I have a degree but no skill or real experience, I've only ever done office work. I probably won't earn very much but anything would be better than how things are right now.

Sadly we are not entitled to any more help than Tax Credits - because my partner works over 16 hours a week, we can't get Council Tax Benefit, Income Support etc etc. It makes you sick to see these people who never bother working getting all these benefits and we are struggling but not eligible for help because my partner works!

Answer 1

My husband and I had a similar struggle when our son was first born, and we've had friends in this situation as well. There really are different answers for everyone. We both worked alternating shifts - he worked 4 nights a week, and I worked 5 days so one of us was always home. One friend got a part time home job as a call center operator (kind of like a stay at home receptionist for several businesses). I've known other families that had the person already working find a second job.

Also, to make ends meet better, see how you can cut down on your overall costs. How many places do you go that you could walk to instead of drive? Do you live in a city where a monthly bus pass would be a practical alternative to driving? You can try cooking 2-3 meals at a time and eat the extras as leftovers to save on your energy bills. We didn't have a tv, microwave, cellphones, or even a couch for a really long time. As much as we didn't want to, we still joined the WIC program for a year. If you have a yard, try to grow some of your own fruits or veggies. If not, you can still have a small herb garden in your kitchen instead of buying spices. Use cloth napkins and cleaning rags instead of paper towels. If you use coin laundry try letting your clothes air dry by hanging it over chairs.

Once we got somewhat on our feet, we were okay to put our son in daycare part time to let him socialize and get used to other people. The toughest part is finding a good facility. Shop around as much as you can. If you find a place that you have confidence in, leaving your child there is SO much easier.

I know it's hard, but you'll get through it.

EDIT: You could also put an advertisement in the paper to babysit other kids during the day. You can set your own hours, the pay isn't great but better than nothing, and you're still with your boy all day without losing time with your partner.

Answer 2

You should be able to get tax credits if you havent clained already. You are entitled to them as a low income family, so look into that.

How about evening work? maybe a few hours in the evening after your partner gets home?

I never left my daughter in a creche etc, and we struggled with money badly, but I just couldnt leave her with strangers, so I know how you feel, see if you can find some work in the evenings or weekends when your partner is home. What about bar work? Or a supermarket, theres lots of temporary jobs at this time of year, so you should be able to find something in the evenings, even if its just stacking shelves.

Personally I wouldnt put my chid into childcare, but I totally understand the poeple that do, money is a big incentive - especially if you have none!

Also, if you get out to work it will help with the baby not to be so clingy with you, he needs to be able to go with his dad when you arent there, working a bit will give you a sense of self worth which is lost so easily when you leave work to have a family, you will make some new friends, and you may even hear of other more suitable jobs. The more people you know the more likely you will hear of other opportunities.

i know its hard missing out on time with your partner, and it is tiring being a num and working, but if you can find anything that works around your partners hours, its definitely worth it.

And it wont be forever, when he starts school (which will come round faster than you realise!) you will have a few hours in the day to work, you may find that you can pay a childminder for an hour or so after school a few times a week, so you can work a bit longer during the day if you need to.

Find any job for now, you never know what the future will bring, so dont try to plan to many years in advance, just think about the next few months at a time.

Also, if you are looking for work you can claim job seekers allowance, so that will help in the meantime.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Answer 3

If you do not want to leave your child with a stranger but still want to make some money, why not consider doing childminding as a job?

You can get a good wage out of doing this and it would still give you the option of staying at home and looking after your son.

It is not very difficult to get into childminding. Most councils (UK) simply require that you attend a pre-registration course and then the law requires that you have an ofsted inspection to check your home is safe and it is also helpful (not sure if required b law) that you take a first aid course.

I personally have the same dilemma as you - being 21 weeks pregnant and living on a low income, and have decided that my best option of earning extra money after the baby is around 6 months old is to start childminding a few children (probably only 1-2 additional children). I really think childminding is something you should look into if you like being around children.

Answer 4

I'm in a simlilar situation. I used to have qualms about leaving my kids with a sitter as well, but with the cost of living so high these days, we moms can't help but go back to work. We want our kids to have the best, and one minimum wage job won't support that. You should look into getting a private sitter, if the thought of an actual daycare bothers you. Its better to get ahead now when your son is young, rather then risk losing your house and living in true poverty. You could even start part-time, and see how it worked out. Any extra money is always better than none! You son will get over his clinginess as well, and that's a good thing. He'll be more self-confident and have better people skills later on. Feel free to talk more if you have any other questions!

Answer 5

Hi, first I'd just like to say well done for even trying to go back to work at 8 weeks! I was still not getting dressed until the afternoon at that point......
You didnt mention anything about Working Tax credit or Child tax credit, if your not receiving them, you should apply asap as that can offer quite a bit of relief.
We have been through this - when our son was born we were living off a pitiful wage my husband earned, and living 100 miles from any family, there was less coming in than there was coming out each month. It was vital that my son got the best start, which for me, means staying at home and devoting my time to him-so I didn't work. I would never feel happy to leave him with a stranger, and yes, sometimes we were soooo strapped for cash, but a year later it got so much better, my husband got a better job and now we can be comfortable without me having to work. I'm so glad I stuck to my guns and stayed at home, I couldn't bare to have missed any of my sons steps!
Well, thats my opinion...........

Answer 6

Honestly, it's up to you honey.

If you financially cannot afford to stay at home anymore, then it's not a horrible thing to rely on daycare for a few hours during the day. Could you maybe find a job with hours that are different from your husband? You would see him (your husband) less but then someone would be at home with the baby all the time and you wouldn't need to put your child in daycare. Or, could you put an ad in the paper for a nanny? I worked part-time during college for a family where the mom HAD to go back to work but they also couldn't afford day care so they had to get a series of cheap, but decent babysitters. I took over in the afternoon's from a little hispanic lady who worked there in the mornings. I agreed to work for the lower pay (I made minimum wage) because they could work with my class schedule and the other part-time employers in town would not.

And, though I wouldn't recommend flaunting it, when I was very young and my mother went back to work, she hired a woman who was here illegally and paid her a certain amount each day. Later our family sponsored her so that she could become a citizen. I don't know how much my mom paid her but it was cheaper than going to a daycare, if that helps.

Are there any other mom's in your area who are returning to work as well? There might be a parent's collective in your area and those are usually the cheapest options because each parent volunteers to watch all the children on specific days and at specific times and then everyone's children are supervised and everyone can also get to work.

Daycare or other people caring for your child is not a horrible thing nor does it HAVE to have negative effects on your child. As long as you remain involved, THAT'S what's most important.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

Can you earn money from home? There are all sorts of ways to do this - if you are creative at all, then send poems and verses into card companies. Write articles to magazines. I only know how to do creative things so that's where my working from home advice stops unfortunately.
It is not the worst thing in the world to send your child to daycare. My friend really struggled with the idea - but it broke her heart more than her daughters. In fact it was the best thing she ever did for her daughter. Her little girl is now 2 and she is so advanced, intelligent, independent and confident. I will definitely be sending my kids to childcare whether I need to or not.
Go part time and have the best of both worlds.

Answer 8

you abviously have the internet and access to a computer so i suggest what you do is google Virtual Secretary. I is work that you can do from home, and quite good pay, i have been looking into it, so when i have to go back to work i can be at home as well. As it saves a lot of money for childcare as its so expensive. You could also (if you drive) get a job as a catalog pick / drop off person, you can take baby with you. My mums friend does it. and takes her child with her. Or find a job that has childcare there so u wont have to pay as much. You could also (if you know anyone) find a job share so you have each others babies when the other is at work, at no extra cost. Hope this helps. xx

Answer 9

will you just get a job, or do you have a carreer? If you go back to work at min wage will you have much left over after daycare/commute/additional work expenses. When I had my first child we figured with the cost of daycare, commute, car payment ect I would be clearing less than $200 a month. It was not worth it to have someone else basicly raise my child!! I have been a SAHM for 6 yrs now, and while we have had some hardtimes (some REALLY hard times this last year) I don't regret my decision.

Answer 10

I had the same problem, no family near by and daycare costs almost the same as my wages earned.....I would try to work opposite hours as your partner...then child will have free loving childcare....I worked at a late night open pharmacy and made above minimum wage. Even if you only make enough for groceries or something, thats a big help on the finances...