Banning songs from Wedding?

Question

So in a recent conversation with family about weddings, I commented that one biggest pet peeve about weddings are the "simon says" songs that everyone seems to play. Ex: the electric slide, the humpy-hump song, the chicken dance, etc. I can't STAND these songs, they annoy me tremendously and have vowed that I dont want the dj to play them at our wedding (even if someone requests them).
I'm not much of a rowdy partier, and I want my wedding to be more casual and classy. I would prefer to have a majority of songs be classics like Sinatra, 40's, 50's and 60's music. A little more love and less rock'n'roll.
Some people think its rude to restrict song play?
What do you think?

I know ultimately its our wedding and my fiance and I will do whatever we want, but I am just curious to see how others feel about it.

Answer 1

I am a DJ and trust me I hate actually lothe those songs as much as you do, but for one reason or another, once teh alchool is flowing people tend to like this songs where they dont have to think of how to dance. These are a major hit at a wedding, people will remember dancing and laughing at eachother when hearing these songs. You're right it is your wedding and I'm sure you want people to have a great time and remember this wonderful day. I dont think people will think its rude , if you really dont want it played make sure you tell the DJ to tell people when they request it that s/he doesnt have it, so you dont sound like a jerk. No one will ever have to know. Who knows maybe you'll end up wanting it played! I hope you have a beautiful wedding and hope this helps.
-Kla

Answer 2

We are definitely going to restrict song play. There will be no Macerena, no Grease medleys, and no bubblegum pop.

We were thinking of having a space on people's RSVPS for songs they'd like to hear at the reception. eg "We need suggestions, let us know and we'll compile a list to give to the DJ". That way you can get an idea of what people would like to hear but you only have to pick the ones that you want. Your guests will feel like they've had their say and won't feel too offended when the DJ tells them he's not taking requests.

Haven't actually done this yet, but there's no way I'm doing the funky chicken at my wedding.

Answer 3

I really can't say anything that anyone else hasn't already said, but I just wanted to reinforce what they did say ... most DJs will have you fill out a form of songs that must be played, and songs that absolutely must not be played. If you're having a classy wedding, people might get the hint anyway and not bother to try to request the macarena or the twist.

Have you thought about having a live band? You can find a lot that play the genre of music you're looking for. Just wondering ...

Answer 4

I did make a restriction, but I told the DJ that if enough people asked, he could play one line dance style song. Only one- and that's what happened. If people want it, it's okay, but I don't like it when those dances dominate the night.

If you have a good DJ, they will know how to deflect.

On a side note: one of the highlights of our reception was when the DJ played "Footloose"- everyone got into a big circle and took turns gettin the middle and doing silly dances (like they did in the movie). It was so much fun- but if you had asked me before the wedding I probably would have nixed it. So don't totally close yourself off to the fun stuff, you might miss out.

Answer 5

We had a list of songs that we asked NOT be played at our wedding.

What's funny is that we had several of those songs you mentioned on our list. We ended up compromising with our DJ on this one. We ended up with the electric slide, the two-step cha-cha and I think the chicken dance, And that was it. There were a ton more, but we drew the line at three. And we had a condition to their play:

We really wanted people dancing and having fun at our reception. Our DJ said that these are songs that get people out of their chairs and moving, and they're likely to stay on the floor. So, he played the electric slide early in the evening (and yes, people got up out of their seats and hit the dance floor!!), and the other two songs were only to be played if either a) someone requested them or b) the dance floor started to get too empty. And actually, I think someone requested both the other songs we agreed to let him play. And both times, the dance floor filled back up.

I obviously can't tell you what is or isn't appropriate to do for your reception, but it is a word of wisdom from our DJ that held true for us, so I thought I'd pass it along to you to think about.

Best wishes to you!

Answer 6

If you really dont want them played at your wedding, just make sure whatever agreement you sign with your DJ ha a note about "specific performance" or "personal satisfaction" in there. These are legal terms that means that you usually dont have to pay (in full) if you're not satisfied, or that you can legally demand a refund. And make sure to CLEARLY note that you dont want these songs in there.

And no, I do not think it's rude to do this. An easy way around this would be to have a theme for your reception. And if you only want certain music played, like what you mentioned, find a DJ that is from that era and would appreciate this. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I did that at my wedding but then said ok because ultimately, I wanted my guests to feel comfortable and have a great time.
I gave my dj a list of songs not to play but if someone requested them, it would be ok. Only a couple songs got played from that list as I recall. You will be so busy that day that you may not even notice. Congratulations!

Answer 8

I totally agree with you about the chicken dance! YUCK!

There is a fine line you walk at a wedding. Of course, it is your day to do as you wish, but you do also have guests to consider.

I think it's perfectly OK to tell your DJ that you do not wish these songs, but I would caution about staying strictly to on genre of music. Perhaps just make a list of songs you absolutely will not allow and give it to the DJ. They should be experienced in telling guests that the bride and groom do not wish that particular song to be played.

I went to a friend's wedding recently where they had every bit of music planned out, in order, with absolutely no requests. It was very awkward and seemed too structured. To each their own, I guess.

Hope you have a great wedding! Congratulations!

Answer 9

It's perfectly fine to tell the DJ not to play certain songs, or types of songs. It's not like people will be confronting you about it anyway (well, not at the wedding). If they request one of those songs, the DJ will just tell them politely the bride and groom requested the song not be played. It's not like some guest will walk up to the wedding couple at a reception to rant about song choice. It's your wedding and you have every right to do that. I think it'd be worse not to say anything and be cringing every time one is played. If the guests want to dance to songs like that, they will have plenty of other opportunities to do so.

The reason alot of DJs play those songs is to get the crowd up and dancing. In lieu of these, just play some upbeat msuic to get them out on the dance floor. It just looks awkward if 5 guests out of 150+ are dancing.

Answer 10

This is expected. This is why DJ's request that you give them a "Do Not Play" list.

The key is to find a happy balance of music you like, and what your guests will like. If you have a good DJ, they will help you come up with a playlist that will make everyone happy. Music is one areas couples often neglect.

I have also requested that "novelty" songs are not played at my wedding.