boyfriend is stressed?

Question

it seems my boyfriend cannot handle my 2 boys they are really good kids and have been through alot. he alot older and his kids are out of the house how do i get him to be more involved and enjoy them he has no patience

Answer 1

Some how i doubt you will be able to change him although i feel bad for you cause he really should have thought about that before getting involved in the relationship. Or maybe he just feels you are strict enough with them and raised his children different and that's is what is causing the frustration. Just some suggestions all you can really do is talk to him about it and how he feels about the situation. Other wise you can not just charge him with out talking about it he will either try or he wont.

Answer 2

this isn't uncommon, his kids are grown and he's forgotten how much of a handful young ones can be. and if his kids have children already then he's ready to be grandpa and have the ability to give the kids back when he's tired of them.


here's where you need to be completely honest with yourself:

If this is a serious long term relationship, then make it clear to him that you and the boys are a package deal and ask him what you can do to help him feel more involved so that he enjoys his time with all of you.

If this is grown-up playtime for mom, then he doesn't need to be around the boys. Just see him when the boys are with their dad or other relatives.

You may find that after the serious talk with him that he's not into the kids and probably isn't interested in being dad again. If that's the case, then you need to decide if you want to still see him without the boys around or if you want to cut him loose so you can find someone who will be a better match for you and your boys.

It sucks to be a single mom sometimes: you just have to decide what you're looking for and what stage you are at. When the kids are going to be hanging around the house for a while, you have to look for someone who is right for everyone in the house, but when the kids are going to be out of the house in a short time or are already out of the house you get to pick someone who is only right for you.


Good Luck and I hope that your guy is able to readjust his attitude and get along!