This weekend is my 8 year old son's birthday party. I invited some of the boys in his class. Since I hadn't received many rsvp's, I called all the children's parents, who'd not responded. One of these mothers was so rude to me and was acting like I'd caught her at a bad time or something. I quickly explained that I was only asking because I needed a head count for food, etc. She actually said her son would attend. I was quite surprised since she sounded completely pissed at me or something. So, if she and her son do show up, I'm afraid she's going to do or say something to ruin his party. I asked my son which boy hers was and he said, "Oh, he's the one who needs to lose weight!" Oh boy. My wheels got spinning and I realised that this boy is probably being made fun of by the kids in the class and this Mom is going to use my son's party as a way of getting even. What should we do?
2007-12-14 01:44:34 · 20 answers · asked by jackio612000 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I doubt she will do anything to ruin your son's birthday party. But if she looks a little mad, take her outside and talk to her. Ask her what is bothering her. If she does do something to ruin it, then politley ask her to leave. You need to talk to your son and find out if he was picking on that little boy. Explain to him that it is not nice and can really hurt his feelings.
2007-12-14 01:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I do not see a reason to be rude to someone whenthey are inviting you (or as is their son) to a party, bad day or not. I was just taught better manners than that. That said I don't think she will cause a scene or try to ruin the party. If she does start up at the party though politly take her aside and ask what is going on and if she is still acting like a child after you have tried to sort out any problem their might be ask her to please leave without making a scene and to pick her child up after so that he and the rest of the kids can enjoy the party.
I am assuming that you only invited the childrenyour son is friends with right? I mean you have their number and I am assuming that your son gave the invintation himself and never kicked up a fuss about this child being invited, so I do not see him being a bully to this child. Maybe have a chat with your son (sans accusations) to see if he is someimes mean or if he jokes around about the childs weight (he may and not even realise he could be hurting this boys feelings, he might think the other boy is in jest aswell).
2007-12-14 02:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt she would use this as a time to get even. Even if some kids were picking on him she wouldn't want to cause a scene that her child would have to deal with once she is gone. You could have caught her at a bad time, she might have been having an issue with her husband, mother, sister ... whatever the case may be. She might just sound like that all the time. I wouldn't worry. Even if she does come in and want to cause a scene then ask her to step outside and have a talk with her, but I don't think you have anything to worry about.
2007-12-14 02:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bilinda G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should have asked your son about the boys you were going to invite beforehand, then you could have avoided this conflict.
Now that it's too late, just be watchful at the party and don't allow the other boys to tease or make fun of him, and things should be fine. If you are doing all you can to prevent that, and the mother causes a scene anyway, make her leave and tell her you will not allow her to ruin your son's birthday.
2007-12-14 01:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by kathi1vee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok, I can relate to this. i have a 10 year old.
first off i want to say, that it sounds like you did catch her at a bad time, and that's why she was short on the phone, after you told her why you called, she probably felt bad. (but like most of us would just ignore it),
anyway, welcome the son into your house, nothing is going to go wrong.
i understand your concern. but what mother would do something like that without any reason? sure he's been picked on at school, but she probably wants him to go, to get the social interaction he needs. this is neutral ground where no one is going to pick on him. it's not the schoolyard. she is hoping that this party will let other get to know who her son really is.
and it's your chance to make friends with her as well. you sound very understanding towards her son. something you could do to diffuse any awkwardness is to invite her to stay and help, that way she can keep an eye on her son.
good luck, hope he has a ball!
2007-12-16 22:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely, her son identified your son as the one picking on him. Not saying that's how it happened, but that may be what he relayed to his mom. You should talk to your son about making other kids feel bad, or saying mean things to others. I hope that this mom will not do anything to ruin your son's party, though it seems like she has an attitude about your son. Maybe you can take her to the side and ask her. Hope it turns out OK.
2007-12-14 05:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Char 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Kids are good at getting you in awkward situations. I dont know if there is much that you can do really. Maybe have some words with your son, and let him know it is important for him to be nice to this boy. I would just be super nice and friendly towards the mother, and act like everything is fine. Once she see's that you are a friendly person, she will probably ease up and realise that kids are kids and it is not your fault.
2007-12-14 01:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You probably just caught her at a bad time and I doubt that she'll cause trouble. Just in case, stay by the door. If she starts, just say, "May I have a word with you?" and pull her outside. If you think it would be helpful to talk to her, go for it, but if she seems nasty or out of control, ask her point blank if she wants her boy to stay or if she should bring him home. Don't give her the option of causing trouble.
But seriously, don't worry about it. Your worry is going to ruin the party if you're more concerned about that than everyone just having fun.
2007-12-14 01:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would talk to her at the party and sooner or later maybe this situation will calm down and it sounds like this little guy could use some friends i have had to deal with this problem i had a birthday party for my daughter and noone showed and the funny thing was they were all home so she never did forget it and the next time they invited her to theirs she wasn't home and she was treated like a princess on those days its rude not to show up and i understand on how you feel make the best of it and i hope all goes well have a merry Christmas
2007-12-14 01:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by dreamweaver 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont jump to conclusions! Youve already invited her so now the best thing to do is just to be as nice and good of a host as possible. If she is a witch at the party just handle it as it comes. I would try to be nice but if you have to be firm with her if she gets out of hand thats ok too. Remember, maybe you did catch her at a bad time you never know. Well, everyone at the party will know shes being wierd and its not your fault. If she says anything nasty to your kid though feel free to tell her to leave.
2007-12-14 01:54:35 · answer #10 · answered by Yeppers! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're jumping to unnecessary conclusions. She was curt when she answered the phone but then accepted your invitation. If she's rude and offensive when she's at the party, ask her to leave for the sake of the kids and festivities. But until then don't get your knickers in a knot.
Her overweight son may have family troubles or he wouldn't be eat so much. try to empathize with him and be emotionally supportive. mom is probably hefty herself and defensive in a society that doesn't empathize with this type of emotional problem
2007-12-14 01:54:22 · answer #11 · answered by wendy.bryan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋