Tell me the funniest joke you have you have ever heard!?

Question

I feeling sad today can you cheer me up by telling me a joke...

Answer 1

well.. just read all jokes from this section.

Answer 2

Hope this can cheer you up!

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

or this?

The farmer's wife was awakened one night when the farmer threw open the bedroom door. Half asleep she looked at him standing in the doorway holding a sheep under his arm.

"what do you want" she barked at him. "This is the pig i f*ck when you have a headache" he says.

"That's a sheep you idiot" the wife replies. The farmer looks at his wife, "I wasn't talking to you!!!!"

Answer 3

well this is funny
a baby duck and his mom where crossing the rode and his mom was hit and killed so the baby duck went back to the pond crying a skunk came by and asked what is wrong
the duck told him his mom had died and the worst part was she never told him what he was
the skunk said my mom died to and i don't know what i am ether maybe we can help each other
so let me see you have web feet and a Bill i know your a duck yeah the duck said wow i am a duck
so let me see you are not all black or white and you smell bad oh i got it your a Mexican

Answer 4

Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough
money. I didn't need the coupon."