is he right? am I a bad mom?

Question

the night before last I had forgoten the a class was up in our duaghter's room. I went out to rent some movies and left her with her dad and one of his friends. (she was in her room up stairs when I left and when I came back and they were down stairs and playing videogames). When I came in the door, I was informed that she had broken the glass and cut herself. I ran upstairs and checked on her, she was in her crib and trying to take off the bandage. I kissed her "ouchy", I picked up the remaining pieces of class on the floor and told her I was sorry. When I went back down stairs I told him I was sorry for forgetting about the glass as well. "I don't care" is all he said to me for the rest of the night. (I later yelled at him and his friend for talking and acting like they were twisting the actresses niples during the movies.)
I felt so bad for yelling at him and for what happened to my baby girl that I cried my self to that night.

and last night wasn't any better, he had hardly talked to me that whole day. when he did talk to me he said that I was becoming a sh!tty mom... not only for the night before, but also for not keeping the house spotless.
the living room and kitchen are the only rooms I'm able to clean while she is taking her nap. Cleaning upstairs is out because that's where she is sleeping.
Is he right? could I be a bad mom?

I am a stay at home mom, and she is 2 1/2.
she trys to help me with the house work. I;ve never heard of to kid that young wanting to help wash dishes or put dirty clothes in the washer and from the washer into the drier.
she even helps me sweep the kitchen and bathroom... well kind of.
you know how little kids are their cleaning is really not that much of a help.
:)
but he wants everything done. not only dishes and clothes washed and put away but swept, mopped and vacummed... (he's even asked me to scrub the walls before!)
I know I'm not wonder woman... and even if I were... she never had a kid!

Answer 1

No, your not a bad mother, but he sure isn't up for husband of the year award, is he?
He is also your daughter's parent, what was he doing while he was left in charge of her? Why didn't he see the glass?
As for not speaking to you because the house isn't spotless, that's just pathetic. He needs to grow up and support you, that's what parents need to be doing, not accusing each other of being shitty parents.
I would speak to him about this, if it was me I would expect some things to be changing, beginning with his attitude. It sounds to me like the real issue here is your relationship, not your parenting skills.
I can understand you feeling guilty about your daughter, we always do when our kids hurt themselves, even if it's not our fault, but lose the rest of the guilt trip! For heaven's sake, what is he doing around the house to help you?
Gently remind him that your daughter is also his daughter, and he lives in the house too.
Stop worrying so much, have a good talk to him, and good luck.

Answer 2

HAS ANYONE DOCUMENTED THIS CASE OF EMMACULATE CONCEPTION???? oh you mean the child has a FATHER???? then guess what??? he has just as much of an obligation and responsibility for taking care of your daughter as you do!!!!! If he was the only parent at home at the time of the accident then he should have put up the video game until you were back home. or was he too concerned he would look bad in front of his friend??? are his legs broke??? is he physically or mentally challenged to the point that he can't figure out how to run a vacuum cleaner? or do some laundry? does he know how to wash a dish or cook a meal??? then since he has such a problem with the way the house looks i have an idea for him......get off your a** and help out with the housework!!!! don't biotch about it if you're not willing to do something about it!!!! i'm so sorry you're dealing with someone like this!!!!

Answer 3

I see a lot of women responding to this post but not many men so I will give my take on it.

HE IS A SHITTY DAD!!!!! That being said, do you have a job or is your "job" a stay at home mom?

That answer will change my opinion drastically for this reason.

If your "job" is to stay at home and raise my kid while I am at work bringing home the money that supports us; I see no reason why the house cannot be clean, dishes done, laundry done, so on and so forth. I am by no means saying you are to have it spotless every day, but I can be cleaned and taken care of at least 2-3 times a week. I know raising a child is pain staken work and dont want to get into the arguement of who has the harder life, the one taking care of the kid during the day or the one working all day.

This is my opinion.

However as far as you stepping out for a few and leaving her with him, he needs to be more responsible and step up to the plate. He has a child so he no longer is allowed to play the "I am an immature child having a boys night out" routine anymore. Grow up and act like a man, that means no nipple twisting moron

Answer 4

I wouldn't say you are a bad Mom just inexperienced. A child that young should never have a glass made of glass. Was your husband trying to get her to go to sleep and that's why he was downstairs? I'm not sure why he didn't clean up the broken glass he sounds very immature playing video games with his friend.
I do agree however that your house should be kept in order. There is nothing wrong with scrubbing the walls and baseboards every now and then either.

Answer 5

No, he's a bad dad. He should be watching his child instead of playing video games while you're out and about. You do the best you can, but since your daughter has a father, he should be willing to help as well. The issue between you runs deeper than his argument that you're being a bad mom. I suggest you two have a serious talk without screaming and yelling and just get down to the bottom of this. There is a lack of communication and you don't want a child growing up in such a household.

Answer 6

No you are not a bad mom...and it is not your fault that she
got hurt....they should have been watching her!

Kids are quick and can get in to trouble in no time....
they will get hurt every once in a while...no negligence here
honey!! Try not to be so hard on yourself.

He is just as responsible for the house as you are!!
marriage is a partnership...your a team!! Helping each other
out and compromising.

He should help pick up the slack while you take some
time off and hang with ur friends as well. He needs to walk
a while in your shoes and see how he thinks of your mothering
then!!!

Not under any circumstances...negligent dad or not should
he be putting you down at all and in such a way that upsets you this much!!

You have to put your foot down ,guilt free about his attitude
and verbal abuse and let him know you mean business!!

Answer 7

You aren't a bad mom. We all have stories about forgetting something and the kids getting hurt. My oldest daughter cut her fingers because she fished out a razor blade from the bathroom wastebasket that her father had thrown away. I was right there beside her and I didn't even know the thing was in there.

And as for keeping the house spotless, no one with children has a spotless house. If they do, they are neglecting their children because kids come behind you and undo all you've done. That said, it is possible to do more when the baby is up. Now is as good a time as any to teach her about putting things back, even if she is just in your arms while you do it. Tell him you are going to leave him with the baby for a few hours and he is to see how much he can get done and watch her responsibly. I did that to my husband and he knows how hard it is to accomplish anything with the kids around.

Answer 8

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! You are a human being, as is your child. You took care of her, made sure she was okay, and took care of the problem, everything that the father should and could have done. He didn't even clean up the broken glass.
Accidents happen, and you did nothing wrong. It sounds like the father needs to grow up, and be a father.

Answer 9

Can I ask why he didn't go clean up the glass? He was at home, right?

First of all, no, you're not being a bad mom. You can actually clean upstairs while your daughter is sleeping. I'm guessing that you're talking about vaccuming and not making noise so as to wake her, right? I don't keep the noise level in my house down unless my daughter is trying to sleep. I figure that it'll help her in the long run if she can get used to sleeping while there is noise. You don't want her to get used to sleeping in only quiet, do you?

Answer 10

It concerns what state you are living in, if you're in a state in which the age of consent is eighteen and not using a near-age exceptions, it's viable he might be charged with statutory rape, in the event you had intercourse that was once no longer authorized below such legislation. Though it is not as much as her to press costs, it's as much as the District Attorney. If there is not any evidence that you've got had intercourse illegally, they may not be equipped to press costs. As a minor you must comply with the guideline of your father and mother till you're 18, then you'll transfer out and do some thing you please. Really, your mother is overbearing and over-involved together with your existence, but when she does not desire you seeing him so long as you're a minor, she has that correct, and will get a non-touch order in opposition to him if she particularly needs to. Situations like this what I see as a deadly flaw approximately statuary rape legislation, as you're courting and no longer very a ways aside in age, so I see no motive that such exercise is frowned upon. If you don't seem to be having intercourse or having any sexual touch, there's not anything unlawful approximately your courting.