Oedipus complex - - Any ideas ?

Question

Please - - no definitions of 'oedipus complex'.

What should the attitude of a mother be toward a son with a super ego and suffering from oedipus complex ?
Will the mother be flattered or repelled ?
This particular son (single and in his mid forties) is very aggressive toward any male who takes an interest in his widowed mother. He virtually controls her with 'rules and permissions'.
What should she do ?

Answer 1

The son is doing the same thing that many children do when a widowed parent becomes interested in a new partner - he probably thinks that he is supporting his deceased father's memory.

Of course, that doesn't make his actions correct. The mother needs to put her needs first and tell the son that she has a right to lead her own life and make her own decisions.

Answer 2

Reading you is like reading a psychologist's mind - are you studying psychology or something? You've got all the words, and it reads like a jumble. Did you know that some of the biggest nuts study psychology and reading that stuff plays havoc with getting a balanced mind. Why, because as someone has already said, it's all about sex and other introverted stuff which'll have you knotted up in ever-decreasing circles, trying to make sense of it, thinking you know something, when in fact you know nothing, just a load of jargon which has the appearance of being something, but is in fact empty and dangerous to those who take it seriously. By the way, did you know that Freud was into the occult - Jung I think, too? Neither of them had a clean bill of health, either, in respect of their mental balance, so why do we give any of them credence? I mean, if the tree is bad, so will the fruit be. You need to examine the roots of a thing to find out its true nature. Apart from sex, why are psychologists obsessed with religion? If you really want to know about the origins of religion, I would say it is this : that man needed to control his fellow man, establish a hierarchy, and stop the excesses, so that society could be built - pretty dull, eh? So, partly for good reasons and partly for bad reasons, religion came about, because religion, primarily, is a control structure. Faith, however, is quite something else. As you might say 'an entirely different ball game'. You see, you can't control someone who has faith, because his values are not humanistic, but God-centered. Maybe that's why Freud preferred to address religion....

Answer 3

I doubt the mother will be flattered, her son is being overly domineering and it's probably ruining her life.

She needs to lay some ground rules to make him realise that she has an identity outside of being his mother. Whilst I'm sure she loves her son she should not allow him to behave in this manner.

If I were her I'd put some distance between us and not keep him so well informed of how I want to live my personal life.

Answer 4

If you are the mother of that particular son.. does sound like you are in a bad situation doesn't it?:)

However, if we aknowledge that we are accountable for everything in our lives, then instead feeling helpless of saying, "My son is like tat, I can't do anything about him and I cannot change my life!" WE CAN DO SOMETHING to change our world!

Firstly, usually, your son is a reflection of your sub concious mind. This means that if your son is suffering from Oedipus Complex, you too must be suffering from it.. even if you may not show it out in the same way.

One good way to get out of the Oedipus Complex is to 'return' your father to your mother and to give up all your grieviances towards them. If you labeled one parent as the good parent and the other as the bad one, realize that they are both good parents and that you do not have to choose their love.

If your son is a control freak and sets lots of rules and permission, one way to get out of this is to ask ourselves, "In which part of our lives are we control freaks and are we setting many rules?"

And then, close your eyes and imagine yourself letting go of these rules and embracing TRUST.

Do this again and again and again.. and you will find that your son's attitude towards you will change.

Good luck!

Love
Angel

PS: There is a fine line between being accountable for all that is happening in your life and self attack. Don't blame yourself for your son becoming like this.. but be thankful that he is willing to act these out so as to remind you to heal this portion of your soul ;)

Answer 5

Move. It's the same advise I would give to an abused woman. Of course, it's a different story if she's in denial about it. But I say get both of them some counseling, or move.

Answer 6

The so called complex is the deranged fantasy of a cocaine user. Sure, Frued had some interesting and even a few good ideas, but we cannot discount that he was not perfect and he was a habitual drug user and sex fiend.

Answer 7

She should stiffen her backbone, act like a "mother", and tell him to mind his own blinkin business. Wondering who is the "child" here.