Is it ADD or aspergers or something else???

Question

My son is waiting to see the specialist about his behaviour. He has been waiting for months. He is 9 and has had problems since very young age. He doesnt play well with others, he is very angry all the time, he constantly threatens to kill himself.He hits himself.He argues with his sis,5 constantly.He lies all the time. his behaviour is terrible. He doesnt learn from punishment at home or school. His handwriting is poor. You can tell just by lookin at him that something isnt right. My niece has aspergers and i have OCD. he shares his time between me n his dad. he has 2 brothers 12, 13. his dad says he is just a pain but i know that something is very wrong with him. I can hardly cope with him anymore, i am worried for his future. ANy advice please would be very gratefully recieved. thanx from a desperately concerned mum x

he does have a very stable home life, he does stay half with me n half with his dad but he has the same rules and we still work together to try to discipline him. we have cut out as many additives in food as possible. we both make him go to his room for 10 minutes when he has acted inappropriately but he either trashes his room, threatens to jump out of window or suffocate himself. he also threatens to kill his sister all time. he shouts from his room the whole time. I have recorded him on video camera to show the dr, would post it on here but dont think i can. He also asks very strange questions and talks about strange things. Whenever we go out he acts up in the car and wherever we go to. i am going to ring back the dr today n see if we can get his appointment bought forward. he seems so angry and at war with everyone. my niece has aspergers and he is like she used to be. everyday is a struggle. His dad is very very strict with all of them and he still has problems.thanx

sorry..forgot to mention that he was very late at walking and talking etc. he had grommets at 18 months due to severe hearing loss. he also has allergies and hayfever and asthma quite bad.

just spoke to the dr and we wont get an appointment through until end march 08 and then it could be for within 3 months!!
the dr is going to try to do something and will hopefully ring back soon.

Answer 1

First of all you need to have him analyzed by a neurologist or a pediatric psychiatrist.

Next, it's evident that you and his father are not together and he's one of four. He could be acting out with the constant shuffling between households and no real stability. He needs structure and a constant predictable schedule. I've got an ADHD daughter and we always have a very strict schedule that we seldom deviate from. This way she knows what to expect every single day.

Answer 2

Go and see your doctor and tell him how you and your daughter are having such a hard time coping with your son. Tell him you want an appointment sooner rather than later and would accept a cancellation. I don't know exactly what your son has wrong with him but it is something that needs addressing quickly before it gets any worse. People are saying it is not Asperger syndrome because of his threats to kill himself. That is not true, many children with Asperger syndrome have a fascination with death and dying. My own daughter is 9 years old and has threatened many times to stab me when she is angry. She has also threatened to kill her teacher and some of her classmates. She has a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome. Don't let any one try and tell you it is your bad parenting that has made your son like this, as you say he has been like this since a young age. He does sound a lot like my daughter, she gets extremely frustrated and angry and tends to take it out on her older siblings. You need to get and appointment very soon and get some good coping strategies and behaviour plans in place. Just tell the doctor how bad it really is. I do sympathise with you and wish you good luck that you get this sorted soon.

Answer 3

See ADD, Asperger's, and autism, in sections 22 - 25, 21, and 12, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Adopt the dietary changes, and at the very least, the Omega 3 fish oil supplements (4/day, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements, in the winter months). Consult a developmental psychologist, or paediatrician. Anger management is addressed in section 4, but won't do much good, if applied now, but when a change in behaviour becomes apparent, in several weeks, hopefully. Enter "ADD" and "nutritional type" in the searchbar, at www.mercola.com

Answer 4

Threatening to kill himself is very extreme for a 9 year old. His assessment needs to be brought forward. You can't wait any longer for him to see someone so go back to your doctor and tell him how worried you are about the threats and ask him to get an earlier appointment sorted. You also need help and quick.

Hope this helps and Have a Happy Christmas.

Answer 5

My son has ADHD, ODD and a learning disablility.

and every single one of the behaviors that you have mentioned.

Do not rule out autism, it mimics add, but treatement is much different. Something is definitely going on. The specialist should be able to figure it out. In mean time, hang in there, set some limits, give lots of love and praise when seeing the right behaviour. Praise works wonders with all kids especially ADD ones.

good luck

Answer 6

Threatening to kill himself is a greater show of emotion than I would expect from someone with Asperger's It might be something else on the autism spectrum though. How is his eye contact and all that stuff? I would seriously consider having him evaluated by an early intervention specialist.

Answer 7

Hi, I have aspergers, I had a lot of problems at the same age as your son. I walked and talked late, didn't make friends easy.

Check Out MY Website:
http://www.livingwithaspergers.co.uk

He may have aspergers, the doctor will tell you what the diagnosis is, but whatever it is, you need to stick by your son and dont blame him for the way he is.

There are some tests on this site, to see if your son fits the criteria of aspergers adhd, etc, you can print the results out and show them to your doctor, they can help with diagnosis.
http://www.dore.co.uk/TestSelection2.aspx


Good Luck and if you need any advice, you can talk to me via my website.

Answer 8

Definatly not aspergers; my cousin has it rough, and he is just very withdrawn, not acting out. Aspergers sufferers typically don't connect well enough to others to act out. I would honestly expect that this is a problem with learning poor behaviors rather than something to "fix" with drugs and medicines. Give the kid time to adjust, and work with him so that he understands that good attention is better than bad, and that he will not be rewarded when he acts out negatively.

Answer 9

This sounds like Conduct Disorder, which is often related to ADHD.
He needs to see a psychiatrist soon, since he is in a lot of pain, and once he is treated, he WILL be able to turn his life around.
I hope it goes well.
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/conduct_disorder

Answer 10

Not Aspergers, Sounds like ADD or possibly slight autism