Hi,
My partner and I plan on having a small intimate wedding, with just close family and friends. My partner is not close with his siblings. They live five minutes away and still they only see each other on special occasions. (You can just imagine how much he sees his aunties and uncles). On his side we plan on inviting his parents, siblings, and their children, which will total 15 people. My problem is that we are both very close to my brother and all my aunties, uncles and first cousins (we see them every weekend). My family that we plan to invite will total 19 people. He doesn’t want to invite many of his friends just his close ones which is 6 including their partners. Where as I have 18 close friends I would like to invite, as I have been friends with them all for years. My parents think his side of the family will think it is rude that I have invited all my aunties, uncles, and cousins and he has only invited his siblings. Is this wrong?? Will it look bad him inviting 21 people and me inviting 37??
2007-12-13 20:17:34 · 19 answers · asked by pinkheels01 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
remind your mum and dad that you are blessed to have a family who are so close knit and you want them there. he has invited who he wants there and you have invited who you want there so have a happy wedding and don't worry about it!
have a good life sweetie!
2007-12-14 18:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last year I was involved with a wedding that had no brothers, no sisters, no parents, and no children from either side of the Bride or Groom's family. This Bride and Groom preferred sharing their wedding day with sixty co-workers and close friends . . even though most of their family members lived within fifty miles of their wedding ceremony site.
Two years ago I was involved with a wedding where the Groom had five people sitting on his side (his brother, wife, and children) and the Bride had about 150 people on her side.
And next week I will be doing a wedding where only the Groom's two sisters and parents will be attending the wedding and there will be about forty guests on the Bride's side.
There is no rule that says your guest count has to be equal, and I have just given you three real life examples.
It's your wedding, and you have the right to invite the people to your wedding who love and care for you and wish you the best.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-12-14 06:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, Im having the same problem and we are having a bigger wedding. We are having 100 at the ceremony, 200 invited to the reception. He doesnt know that many people or isnt close enough to invite. 21 and 37 is not bad at all, though! You dont have to have even numbers. If you are worried, you can talk to his mom and ask her if she has any close friends that she would really like to attend since your man can think of any more. I did that and ended up with 6 of his mom's girlfriends from thier tuesday girls night out!
2007-12-14 07:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by katie-bug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite whoever you want! I just attended a wedding where there were about 200 guests...the breakdown? only 15 of them were the bride's family and about 30 were the bride's friends...that leaves over 150 for the groom alone! Instead of being offended everyone thought it was funny! (I was on the bride's side)
Also when my brother got married, he worked it out that only 25% of the guests were from his side of the family! Again, we thought it was funny not rude.
We come from a small intimate family, and we enjoy it that way.
Don't let your soon-to-be hubby's family's bad attitude ruin your day. Just invite who you invite and ask them to come with smiles on their faces. If they cant get over it, then they dont have to come. :)
2007-12-14 11:40:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Bethy O. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not really close with all those aunts and uncles, then it should be fine. Be sure to send them a marriage announcement though. Plus, don't worry about how many is invited from his side or your side. At my wedding, our invite list was 90% my side and 10% his side. He has a small family and does not speak to his aunts and uncles. It will be fine, good luck to you and your partner! :)
2007-12-14 04:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Claret 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it won't look bad especially if you are not close. If you want, send out a lovely designed special announcement after the event to the extended family.
Do what you want, it is your day.
I know a woman who eloped with her new husband and told her grown childern and parents they were not welcome to go to Vegas to wittness it. Now that is rude especially since it was her 3rd wedding. The fact that you are limiting the number and it being for only those you are close to - knock yourself out and have a wonderful celebration.
2007-12-14 10:47:04 · answer #6 · answered by sweetadolead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are not going, and they don't talk to your partner, how are they going to know that all your extended family was there? Unless they will be talking to people that are going.
Most of the time it's difficult for guests to keep track of who all the other guests are...who's a friend of whom, who that lady in the purple dress is...etc. So friends don't really count in the equation anyway because neither family is going to know ALL of them and know whose side they're on.
When you have the ceremony and reception, you don't need to go with the traditional "bride's guests on one side, groom's guests on the other". Mix it up!
2007-12-14 10:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Engaro 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does HE mind you inviting 37 people and him only 21?
THAT is the ONLY important question.
If he has a problem with it, compromise.
If anyone else has a problem with it, and HE does not, then don't listen to the other people.
Simply put, HIS opinion should be the only one that matters.
2007-12-14 07:06:11 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKay, think of it this way, do you want them there? Okay, now think of this, does your partner want them there? In the end it's your moment, invite the people that you want there to witness this. If you invite them and they don't come it is their problem. The new life beginning is the one you plan on starting on this memorial day, all perceived close people welcome. That's how how play my life. I think it works gay or straight
2007-12-14 04:34:44 · answer #9 · answered by Kurt G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it!! if that is all he wants to invite, then that is that! My FI is only inviting his parents, his two sisters(one of whom is married and has two kids) and then 4 friends and their wives. PLUS...his brother in law is a groomsman, one friend is best man, and his two sisters are doing a reading, and his two nephews are jr. groomsman, so almost everyone he has invited is in the wedding! his side is going to be sooooo empty!!
2007-12-14 23:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by nytengayle13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋