beware of the secret society of left handed people---they are evil and WILL overtake us?

Question

It's a secret society, I have nightmares of them.Statistics tell us theres a slight increase in lefthanders which tells us we're being invaded by creatures from alien universes. Left handed people make me sick, freak me out. If you don't believe they are spawn of the satan, DO the research for yourself.Why do you think there are more of us, then THEM?Theyre strategically placed within families.Once in a while you find more than 1 in a family unit. If predomintly a family of dogooders, you might find 3 or 4 to balance things out.
If right handed like me theres no way to get inside the head of one of these freak of natures.
They can & will read each others minds, speak to each other telepathically. Even beyond the grave.They have built in radar and scanners behind the eyeballs to sense when another one of them is in the vicinity. If youre lefthanded & truly know you arent alien or satan, my apoligies. The rest of us have no way of ever really knowing til science cracks the cod

If you've ever been in the presence of one, you may not even realize it but bad things always happen. Every time you got speeding ticket? It was because you crossed the path of or spoke to a southpaw.
Tripped over a curb in a shopping mall parking lot? Take one guess.
If you have one in your family, and it isn't often everyone does, watch them closely.
They will always act stranger than other members of the family to the point of driving everyone else insane. They invariably end up being the outcast and going their own way.

Answer 1

Yesterday it was redheads! Kinda hard to keep up these days with who the evil secret societies are!

Answer 2

I'm left handed and I'm not an alien. I am a Christian and so I'm on the bad side of Satan. I know that throughout history there has been a bad connotation put on left-handedness, but i honestly think it's just because people don't like anything that is different. In the Bible there is a story which shows that left-handed warriors had the advantage in battle. I understand that from fencing. People are used to fighting with other right handed people, and when you come from the opposite angle they are expecting, then you have an advantage. it's not something that is hard to understand from a purely natural standpoint. It's harder being left-handed in some ways. Most things were made for a right-handed world. I think one reason the numbers are increasing is that parents and teachers aren't trying so hard to change left-handers into right-handers. And (tongue in cheek) you do know that as the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, only left-handers are in their right mind. I hope you are not serious about your concerns, because it will make it very hard for you around left-handed people, thinking we are aliens, when we are not. The only way I know another left-handed person is present is when they write something down or we try to sit at a restaurant table together and both head for the seat on the left corner, so our elbows won't bump the other diners (this is when we are in a group of people). And I do want to thank you for your apology if I wasn't alien. The only kind of alien I have ever been is when I was an American living in a foreign country. And I wish you nothing but good. Maggie

Answer 3

My husband is a chemistry and physics professor at our university, working on his doctorate. He's also a concert pianist and won several awards all through high school for his musical abilities. Not only this, but he can take a pencil and draw the most beautiful, dreamlike landscape you could imagine, straight from his imagination. Oh, did I mention he's left handed?
This site will tell you everything you need to know about left handedness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-handed#Left-handedness_and_intelligence

Here is another very interesting religious article on the "evils" of lefthanders and how they must be dealt with in the church.
It's called "DEXTERA DOMINI
The Declaration
on the Pastoral Care
of Left-Handed Persons" LOL. You'll have to do a search to find the URL.
It is basically putting lefthanders alongside homosexuals.
I do hope the individual who wrote this isn't serious. ;b

Answer 4

Of course that's not true. The fact is everybody ever born was suppose to left-handed. But the real secret is that the government couldn't afford to pay all that money to have the right-handed people fixed right so they left them that way. Now if you're right-handed, you'd better hurry up and get it fixed before it's too late.

Answer 5

It is true that we use more brain power than right handed people... but our one weakness is that when writing, our hand smears everything that we write! Unless of course you're writing in hebrew in which case it is written from left to right.

Aha! The secret language of the left handers is hebrew!

Edit: And to Julia D... I'm a redhead as well! Does that mean I'm some sort of ultra evil monster man? Mwahahahaha it is true! I'm out to suck the blood of everyone on YA!

A Jewish Redheaded Left Hander... I will totally lead the council

Answer 6

LAMO! Dude you've written some of the funniest SH#% I've ever read on Yahoo answers!!!!!! I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes and my stomach hurt from reading this.
But in case you really are serious, and I highly doubt you are, here is a list of some pretty impressive people who are left handed.
Michaelangelo (painter/artist)
Leonardo DaVinci (painter/artist/scholor?)
Babe Ruth (baseball)
Barry Bonds (baseball)
Oscar La Hoya (Boxer)
Paul McCartney (Beatles)
Ringo Starr (Beatles)
Freddie Mercury (Queen)
Jimi Hendrix (guitarist)

Some of u people who said this person needs to get a life, or get psychological help? Your the ones who need to get a sense of HUMOR MAN! Lighten up!
I mean come one dudes thank GOD for a little comic relief once in awhile!
I was down in the doldrums and kinda bummed out until I read this. Now I'm in a pretty good mood thanks to reading this. This stuff once in a while is like a shot of medicine so lighten up people and enjoy it when it comes.

Answer 7

I want to know more about this cod that holds the answers. Catch the uber-cod and bust 'em right open I say - then we can have a nice fish & chip dinner in celebration

Answer 8

That's right (I mean left), we are secretly taking over the planet.

In all honesty, science has no idea why people are left handed.

Answer 9

I think as with homosexuals it is just the world is more accepting so more people show their true nature. it is not evil to be left handed.

Answer 10

Now that you know the truth about us evil left-handed people, I suggest you start looking behind you. Bwa ha ha!