What to expect when spouse returns from deployment?

Question

Can anyone tell me about their experiences of coming home from combat or your spouse returning?

I'd really like to hear about your experiences good or bad on this one... not advice so much as just however it was for you.

Answer 1

Just be ready to go with the flow, sometimes a big party with tons of people can be too overwhelming but sometimes that's just what they want. You need to (if possible) talk it over with him. Just plan on following his lead. When my husband came home it was pretty relaxed (we didn't have kids then) his family was there to meet him with me when they came in but then the rest of the night was basically just ours.

A lot of times the best thing to do is have a quiet and relaxed day that first day he's home and then maybe plan a party for the next day or that weekend. If it was me I would say no house guests. If people want to see him that badly they can just stay in a hotel and give the two of you some space.

Answer 2

As hard as this is to do... try not to expect a whole lot. Expectations put a lot of pressures on them, and can end up being hurtful for you. Every person handles coming home differently... and it really depends on if he was in a high stress combat situation every day (like if he was infantry) or not. All in all, though, he should be happy to be home, he just may not know how to express it. Don't be surprised if he's not comfortable when he gets home at first, and be willing to do more listening then talking if that's what he needs. Resist the temptation to parade him around in front of a lot of people, unless he suggests it. Basically, let him call the shots for a little while. Make suggestions, but let him decide what's a good pace for him. He will get back to "normal" eventually, but will not be exactly the same. If you have any questions feel free to email me. God Bless, Semper Fi, and congratulations!

Answer 3

The homecoming is the best part! Honeymoon all over again. The other answerers had great responses. Dont expect anything and everyone is different. Even if we tell you our experiences, doesnt mean that is how yours will be.

When my husband comes home, he just wants to be "normal." He slips right back into his role as head of the household. He wants to cook a meal, take the garbage out, play games with the kids, and just be husband, dad. He wants to do all the things he couldnt do while he was away. He is the exact same as when he left....war hasnt changed him a bit. Lots of sex is a given.

So everyone is different, and that is our experiences.

Answer 4

Good for him and you that he is coming home! He may want a lot of quiet, easy type time just to relax. There is usually a lot of noise in some of the deployed locations from tactical vehicles, generators running, and other heavy equipment not to mention if he is in a hot area. Don't be surprised if he just wants to sit and don't be to anxious to get him out shopping, especially in the holiday crowds. Try to be flexible in your planning and stress this with relatives. My wife did an excellent job of running interference for me and I got some much needed down time because of her. Try to ease back into the old routine before he deployed but realize that things didn't stand still for him or you while he was gone so try to inform him as much as you can about some of those things that may have changed when and as time permits before hand if possible. Just don't give it to him all at once though.

His driving habits may be a little crazy or lax so you may have to talk to him a little if that is a problem. Running around in tacticals and what not is different than driving the family car in the good old USA if he was driving a lot while deployed. If he was in a real hot spot out in the middle of nowhere then his personal hygeine habits may be a little lax. Being in a place like that for an extended period of time under water rationing conditions with no running water, sleeping with bugs, and staying somewhat dirty all the time with much bigger things to worry about sometimes changes people's perspectives on things and it takes them a little time to get them back. It is now required that all personnel being redeplyed back home fill out a survey and evaluated medically as well as psychologically if they were in a hot area and along with that they are given contact numbers for them or their families to use if they encounter any problems readjusting. I would start with that if major problems start to crop up. Happy Holdays to you both!

Answer 5

I had chaplain tell me once about sex the first night home and he put it this way: "the first night you are expecting and wanting a crockpot kind of night, but it'll be more like a microwave."

The first few weeks is the honeymoon stage. The next stage, he'll get on your nerves for about two weeks. Then, you'll settle back into a routine.

Answer 6

yes it is good at first yet be aware of flash backs and nerves finding a job they can do but the the best you can do is see that you are their and medical is at hand a home lots of love know that was no field trip for them and another sudden change in life to them do not be shocked if you see them jumping down over fire works back fires from autos even calling a diff rent name out to you, like i said it is no field and they went through hell for our country.

Answer 7

when my hubby gets home, he wants a lot of cuddling, a lot of quiet, we watch a lot of movies, yeah theres a lot of sex at first, mostly quiet at home. not a lot of going out places. thats him, people are different, so i cant say what it will be like for you two. just go with the flow and understand he has been through a lot, more than we can really comprehend.

Answer 8

sex and sex and more sex. do not forget the food and some drinking if that is the habit

Answer 9

Expect sex. Lots of it.