How do you join in on a table of people you don't know?

Question

I want to sit and make friends with som people at a table I don't know but I just can't sit over there and randomly start talking to them! what should I do?

Answer 1

I did this last week at a party, "May I join you?", as soon as they say yes, sit and , "Hi, My name is XXX" The conversation goes from there. Often polite people will even tell you what they have been discussing and go on with this line of conversation. No problem!

Answer 2

Unless you are in a setting where people know they'll be sitting with strangers, you don't do that. It's intruding.

I read an article not long ago about how the trend in the more fashionable restaurants is to have about 10-15 people from several different parties sit down at one long table. But you go there knowing that's what you'll be doing.

If my family and I were going out to eat at a regular restaurant (we don't have fancy places here), a stranger coming over and inserting himself into our party would not be well-received. We get together and talk about the people and events in our lives, so that WE follow the conversation. But we wouldn't feel comfortable having a total stranger sitting there listening to us talk about our kids' schools, our work, old friends we've run into, other family members, etc.

IF you really want to do this, either go to a hibachi (I probably don't have the right word... the Asian restaurants where the chef makes the meal right in front of you), or sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with whoever you happen to be sitting by, assuming they aren't already in conversation with someone else.


NOTE: I'm assuming your an adult. IF your question is that you want to sit in the school cafeteria at a table with people you don't know all that well, go for it. I'd just suggest you hang back on conversation until you've been at least a little welcomed in.


Also, I notice a lot of people are saying just go up and ask if you can join them. This would be as annoying as if you just had a seat like you'd been invited. You could be putting them in the position of having to be "mean" and say no, or say yes when it's not what they want to do.

Answer 3

If you are talking about going out to a public place, then why on earth would you join someone else's table? Why not go out with some people you know rather than crashing someone else's party? It's a rude and awkward thing to do, and it means that the conversation has to stop while people ask you polite questions about yourself.

If you are at school or uni - then just say, "Hi, mind if I sit here". . People do that all the time in that context, and at conferences too. It's perfectly fine in those places.

Answer 4

John,

You are not supposed to do that...it's ok in a diner on the road with no available tables to ask if that person wouldn't mind, but guess what...you might stand a better chance sitting under the table, panting... with doleful looks at each move of the fork if all you want to do is make friends...especially in that type of situation.

Answer 5

If it's a table with four or fewer people, it is much harder, but if it's a large table with five or more people who are obviously out for a fun night, it's not that hard!

If you want to get to know them, you have to do one of three things:

1) Meet up with one of them somewhere else and then when you see them sitting at the table, go up and say hello and hope they'll invite you to join them.

2) Go up to one of them at the bar, the dart board or wherever in the venue, and get into a conversation during which you mention you are here on your own, and hope they invite you to join them.

3) Walk up to the table when the conversation lulls, introduce yourself, say you are from out of town, travelling, whatever, and you are here on your own. Could you join them for a drink, first round on you?

Unless you know at least one person at the table you risk being rejected and ending up sitting on your own, but you are already doing that!

Might as well have a try and if they say no, at least you tried!

BUT ~ do plan a 'way out' if they get smart-@rse towards you or behave badly. What I mean is, someowhere else you can go to spend the evening without being harrassed.

Good luck and best wishes :-)

Answer 6

I would say, if it's a very big group...just introduce yourself to a few people on one corner...and ask if you can join them. If it's a small group, then you can introduce yourself to everyone. But if you don't want to attract too much attention, it is still OK to introduce yourself to just one person you are nearest to, or who looks and shows an interest in your presence. OR u could ask someone .. a common friend, or even a host, who can do the introductions for u. That's what I'd do.

Answer 7

I'm not so sure this is a good idea. Many people go out with the expectation that they will have a private evening, without any unexpected guests. Your presence might not be welcome.

Answer 8

Say "hi, mind if I join you? Are you enjoying the party?"

Answer 9

Go up and introduce yourself. Then ask them if they mind if you are seated with them.

Answer 10

tell them you've farted and you don't know where it went.