I am getting married on March 1 of next year and i have 3 bridesmaids and the 2 have gotten there dresses and the last one hasnt and she seems to be putting it off. And its almost less than three months and I kinda have this feeling she doesnt want to do it. What should i do.
2007-12-13 18:09:28 · 22 answers · asked by Cathy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She has 4 jobs and the dress is $110. She keeps telling me ill get it this weekend, and the weekend comes and goes!! My maid of honor and my other girl are telling me to give her till sunday and if she gives me another excuse then tell her shes being replaced!
2007-12-13 18:19:42 · update #1
I agree with everyone. First off handle this in a polite way. If you care for her enough to ask her to be one of your bridesmaids then you care about your relationship. Tell her the date is quickly approaching and the dress needs to be ordered. I know my wedding is may 24th and my girls MUST order dresses by the end of january to ensure delivery in time. So that is four months early! call the dress location and talk to them see when the dress must be ordered by. Then tell her she has to either commit to this or if she doesn't feel like she wants to or can be in the wedding you need to know.
2007-12-17 14:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, having 4 jobs can be really stressful and leaves pretty much NO free time! With christmas being around the corner she is stressed out and isnt paying attention to anything else. You should talk to her and tell her that she needs to have the dress by a certain date because you need to do fittings a few weeks before to make sure everything is just right and you dont want to be worried if the dres is shipped late or if it needs major alterations or if something happens to it, etc. Tell her if she really doesnt have the desire to be in the wedding anymore, let you know and you can find someone else but she needs to get the dress because you dont want anything to be done last minute. Tell her that your alterations people need her to have the dress by a certain time!
2007-12-14 00:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by katie-bug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your bridesmaids. When my BF got married, two of the girls pulled stuff like this. The one lived out of state but came home for the normal breaks and never went to try on the dress, the other was always in close proximity but never bothered going after the first fitting, and then couldnt understand why it didnt fit. It caused a huge problem, and as the MOH I had to run interference all day. Give her the ultimatum or see what her issue is.
2007-12-16 08:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup my wedding in June, I am having the same problem. She keeps telling me she will go this weekend and doesn't. My matron keep sending out e-mails. She was suppose to be my maid but she is not being a good friend right now. She is working two jobs. I have done so much for her. That all I ask is this. I mean she was planning to rent 1000 limo for my bacherlette so if she can't even afford to go get her dress then I might ordered with out hers.
2007-12-14 03:25:39 · answer #4 · answered by Kelsy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she needs to work 4 jobs money may very well be an issue and she may be too embarrassed to tell you. Or maybe working 4 jobs doesn't leave her time to take care of it. I would talk to her about it. If she swears money isn't an issue then ask her if she really wants to be in the wedding or if she would like to back out. I suggest being the polite diplomat. You don't want to hurt the relationship especially if money is the issue and she's just too embarrassed to admit it. If she says she still wants to be in it ask for her days off and go with her to get the dress so you know it's taken care of. Best of luck!
2007-12-13 18:26:35 · answer #5 · answered by MISS H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and the dress shop. Find out what's the absolute latest she can order it and receive within a decent time frame before the wedding, and find out what the hesitancy is on her part. If it's money, try your best to work that out. You shouldn't have a falling out over money. If she's trying to flake, but doesn't want to tell you, it's better to get it out of her before the last minute and you can replace her quickly. Whatever the case, you should be able to get a resolution quickly. The last thing you need right now is unnecessary stress! Hope this helps! Congrats & Good Luck!!
2007-12-13 18:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by dct1218 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont beat around the bush its your day and its fast approaching! be nice ....at first....sit her down and ask her why she hasnt gotten the dress yet and if shes still interested in beig the BM. make her give u a reason instead of just saying ill do it this wk i swear....ask her no u havent done so all the other times and im just wondering why..if u cant afford it tell me or if u dont wnat to buy it...let me know so im not in the dark and get screwed at hte last minute...go from there depending on her answer. if shes stll a ***** about it....tell her u need to replace her. its ur day. i replaced 2 of mine for this same problem plus tehy said the dresses were unalterable which was a lie. i feel so good i told them off and they are the ones who till this day everyoen thinks are a bunch of losers.
2007-12-16 17:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by bling b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might be having finacial difficulty right now and just not want to say or she could not have a lot of extra money and not really want to pay to be in someone else's wedding and/or for a dress she's only going to wear once when she really needs the money for something else but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Just tell her that the people at the dress shop said that the measurements and money have to be turned in by ---- or they won't be able to order the dress and then if she doesn't do it by then, then she probably can't for some reason but doesn't just want to come out and tell you for fear of hurting your feelings.
I was suppose to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friends weddings a few years ago and we were going check to check so their wasn't alot of extra money and the little extra we did have I didn't want to use it on a dress that I would never wear again but I didn't want to hurt my friends feelings either but I kept telling her I would get it in and when the date came for it to be turned in no later than I just told her I'm sorry but we really can't afford it now. We've been in several weddings since then and have the money to do so now, but I still don't like when people ask us because I think its ridiculous to pay a hundred and something for a dress or tux to only wear once for a couple of hours. I think if people want you to be in their wedding they should pay for it. Not being mean or rude, I think its a compliment to be ask to be in a wedding I just don't like wasting money on something that your only going to wear once.
2007-12-14 05:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by jordan98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can set up a "lunch date" with her and take her to get the dress. Have you asked her why she hasn't gotten hers yet? Maybe it is a money issue. Just because she has 4 jobs doesn't mean that she has the money for the dress. Why don't you ask her if it is about the money, maybe you can pay for the dress or even just pay half of it.
2007-12-14 03:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jay's Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply remind her of the approaching date and ask her directly but kindly if she still intends to be part of your party and if not "that you understand" and you might have to then look for a replacement. Maybe she is having financial problems and can't order the dress just yet or maybe she has changed her mind and does not want to be part of your wedding. People have a right to change their minds unfortunately! Simply talk to her soon as to give yourself time to make other arrangements or to know what she plans on doing! Just be kind and prepare yourself for her answer! Good Luck!
2007-12-13 18:18:09 · answer #10 · answered by itzybit_303 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋