Deployment pay and legal separation/divorce???

Question

My husband and I have been legally separated since March of this year. He leaves to Iraq next week and just emailed me saying that he is keeping all of the extra pay he will receive while he is overseas. He says that he is keeping it to save up for his visitations with our two children. (I will be moving across the country in 4 months.) Am I or the kids entitled to any of that? I am not being greedy but would like to have half and put it into savings so I can have some sort of an emergency fund/cushion/safety net (or whatever else you want to call it) when I do become a single parent with 2 kids. I have already figured that what he will be paying me for child support will just barely cover child care. So I will be paying rent, utilities, food, and clothing all on my own while going back to school full time. So I will probably be making not much more than minimum wage and stacking up student debt too. I have asked around but everyone tells me something different. Any help is appreciated

He asked me last week for our marriage certificate so he can show that we are still married. That tells me that he is getting extra pay because for me and that is in addition to what he gets for the children. I know he made almost $10,000 extra in five months on his first tour and I just don't think it's fair for him to take that away from us.

My husband says that his work will ALWAYS come first and because his friends are part of his job, they will always come first too (before the kids and I). He lives 5 minutes down the road and maybe sees the kids once or twice a month. I truly doubt he will be using this extra money to come see them and even then, he doesn't need that much. Also, I am not trying ot take all of the money but I don't see how he is entitled to the money he is getting for being separated from the family. That has nothing to do with him fighting over there and he never comes around anyways.

Answer 1

I am in the army and my job is finance, as for being seperated as you should know there is no child support yet. As for the extra pay that deployed soldiers get that is 225$, 100$, and 250 for the family seperation. But if your divorced already, and he doesn't have atleast half custody than he will not get that 250. As for you getting any of that money, no the govt only requires the child support and that's it. Only "good" ex-husbands give extra, I have seen that sometimes. Yea I just confirmed it he doesn't have to give you that extra money, just the child support. sorry

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

The only extra pay for having dependents he will receive is Family Separation which is $250 per month. He will also be getting BAH which is something you should already be getting or at least part of it. If not then you need to speak to someone to have it taken care of.

The other pay he will qualify for is Save Pay $100 per month (may not be paid until after he comes home though), Hostile Fire/IP Pay which is $225, and get a FICA refund each month.


Of course the work will come first, when you are in the military it will always come first. Just like most times a mother will always put her children above anything and everything to make sure they are looked after.

He isn't getting any extra pay for having you or the children, except for Family Separation when he is deployed for longer than 30 days. The only other time will be is if he is stationed overseas and getting COLA, but if you have moved from there then he will no longer be getting it. IF you are serious in this relationship ending then the best thing is to get a divorce before he leaves. The children will keep all base privledges, medical, dental, etc... Then you don't have to worry about it at all because it will be ordered to be child support based on his income.

Answer 4

You are only entitled to what is determined in the legal support agreement. The military has set minimums of what should be paid, in the absence of a court order, however that has no bearing on deployment entitlements.

The only additional income that your husband would be getting for having dependents is Family Separation Allowance. That entitlement may stop when the divorce becomes final pending how the decree is written and who has custody of the children when.

Sorry this is not the answer you want to hear, but you may want to explore the possibility of getting the child support requirement increased to help cover the costs. Your husband will receive, even after you are divorced, something called BAH Differential to help cover the cost of Child Support. His child support payments must be at least equal to what the military would pay him otherwise he is not entitled to that payment...everything above the entitlement comes out of his own pocket.

Answer 5

The extra pay: the hazard pay and what not is his. Period. All he is entitled in giving to you is child support and that starts officially after you are legally divorced. The family separation pay that he may be getting while he is over there will only be given to him if he has 50% or more custody of the children (assuming you're divorced by then) - and if he does have that much custody, you're not entitled to that either since you are of equal partnership in raising your children.

Just because he is being deployed and is getting extra pay does not entitle you to more money while you're divorced reguardless of the fact that you are now responsible for you own living expenses.

All I can say is that divorce is costly, not only monetarily but it's hard on the children involved.

Answer 6

Of course it doesn't triple, but it certainly seems like it does. If your husband deployed with a unit then he likely did all the finance paperwork, except the FSA, prior to departing and you should see in on the next check. At worse you will see it on the MM December. As soon as he hits 30 days he will submit the paperwork for the FSA and you might not see that for another 15 days, but then it will be backdated to start on the first date of deployment. If he deployed as an individual to join a unit, he might not do any of the finance paperwork until he arrives at his unit and because he is processing it in country it might take an extra couple weeks. Best of luck to you and your husband!

For the best answers, search on this site https://smarturl.im/aDD5Y

Answer 7

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o

Answer 8

Until you have a divorce decree, he does not have to pay you any extra than the Child support.

If he truly intends to use the money to come and see his kids, well, that is certainly honorable, especially since you are moving them across the country.

Once you get divorced, then you will know exactly what you are entitled to.

Not trying to just take his side, as I know it is hard on you as well. But you both made the choices to get married and have kids, not just him. He should not have to take care of you, but should certainly have to contribute his part to take care of his kids.

If you take this money away from him and he is unable to come visit his kids....well, do you think that would be good for your kids?

Answer 9

You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/yJuWL
Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her

Answer 10

I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT HE WILL GET, AND WHAT YOU ARE ENTITLED TO. child support and most of the BAH if not all. the hostile fire pay is his, until we, the wives or ex-wives go over there, it is not ours, not the kids, sorry. can you see where he might be entitled to it? i understand you have 2 kids, but whenever people get divorced, military or not, you make the choice to become a single parent, you are making a choice to take the kids across country from the other parent, you are making a choice to go back to school and stack up more bills when as a single parent you are entitled to so many grants, thats right, grants because you are a single parent that will pay for you to go to school, so these are choices, no one is forcing you to do anything.