Do you think boys should play with dolls or stuffed animals?

Question

I am not a parent yet, but I am against boys playing with dolls ... period. Dolls are associated with feminine things and I just don't think boys should be combing hair and burping the baby like a little girl. However, I think a boy should be allowed to play with a stuffed animal as a baby and a toddler. But after 1 or 2 years old I think the stuffed animal should be stored away.

We were at a restaurant and this little boy (who appeared to be 5 or 6 at the most) had lost his teddy bear. His father drove him back to the restaurant to find this bear (we overhead the conversation). The waitresses searched high and low. The little boy was in tears. They finally found it and it was a sigh of relief for him.

Is it me or is he too old to be playing with stuffed animals? Before any of you parents get upset with me, I don't mean any harm. I am just stating my opinion.

Answer 1

I think your viewpoints may be a little outdated. Typically a little boy will mimic his dad, or other boys. But playing with a babydoll doesn't make him gay or effeminate. Playing at parenting behavior that they see is what little kids do. If a boy is lucky enough to have a dad that parents a baby, then he may be fortunate enough to know how to do that, also.

As far as stuffed animals, you may thing 6 is a "big boy." But even though they are starting to look like the big kids, 6 years old isn't far from being a toddler. And when kids are sick, or tired, or stressed, their behavior often reverts a couple of years. The brave little soldier who protected his family home from the encroaching army at 3 in the afternoon may be tired or feeling ill later. Then the soldier is gone, for awhile, and the younger version of that little boy comes out, again. He wants a hug, to be carried, to be held, and often he wants a familiar item such as a favorite stuffed animal or even a blanket.

Worry about such things if you see your child carry them across the stage at their high school graduation. Until then, know that their peers will mash them into what society expects. Your job is to be accepting, loving, warm, and let them be small as long as they want. Trust me. It won't last long.

Answer 2

I think it's wrong too assume that boys shouldn't be playing with dolls or a stuffed animal. I think it just endorses the same stereotypes if a young boy wants to play with a doll or stuffed animal he's somehow going to turn up homosexual and by stating that he shouldn't have a stuffed animal to play with at the age of 5-6 is ridiculous. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Answer 3

I think your POV is horribly rigid and old-fashioned. As someone mentioned, have you heard of GI Joe? A.A. Milne's Christopher Robin, in the classic Winnie The Pooh stories was supposed to be around 6. He was modeled on Milne's own son of the same name and the kid grew up to be a fine man and father. Pooh and all the others were stuffed animals...

Play and imagination are good things for a growing mind -- and that includes stuffed toys. Personally, I'm FOR anything that helps & encourages a boy turn into a caring, loving, compassionate man these days and if that means letting boys play with dolls, or a stuffed bear then so be it.

But that's just an opinon gathered from over 30 years of dealing with boys & men who were discouraged from what has been defined as "nurturing" play the way you propose. They're the men most likely to abandon their kids early in life and *stay gone.* You know the ones... they're nicknamed sperm donors these days, but they don't even deposit at the sperm bank..

Answer 4

There is a big difference between stuffed animals and barbie dolls. 5 is not too old for anything. Young kids like their animals and it encourages imagination. I had a GI Joe when I was a boy. (GI Joe is a male soldier doll if you are unaware). It didnt make me a sissy just encouraged healthy play acting. Don't be so quick to turn the kid into an adult. Let them enjoy themselves. They will have their whole lives to be grown.

Answer 5

What do you think action figures are?! No, I don't think there's anything wrong with boys playing will dolls, teddy bears or anything else like that.

You don't want to see a boy combing hair and burping the doll? What about when that little boy grows up into a man and has a real baby of his own? I'd want to see it then!

Answer 6

So why should little girls play with dolls? To practise learning to be gentle and pretend at being Mummies. So, why should little boys play with dolls? To practise learning to be gentle and pretend at being Daddies. Kids give up stuffed toys when they are ready. Sounds like you are suffering from the misconception that these things aren't manly, and that small boys should be manly. Small boys should be small boys, they've got a long way to go before anyone should expect them to be men. What kid needs that kind of pressure, many men can hardly handle it!
If you are really interested in the topic, rather than "just stating your opinion," drop into your local Steiner shop and ask their opinion. I never had time for dolls myself. Being the oldest granddaughter on both sides of the family, I think I was a bit of a disappointment in that regard! I never thought I'd want to encourage my kids, male or female, to play with dolls. However, I've been taking my daughter to a Steiner playgroup since she was a month old. She's now 8 months. The three "big kids" (2 boys and a girl) who are nearly 4, spend most of their play time in the "house" looking after the "babies." You might find Steiner/Waldorf style dolls more acceptable for a boy, as they aren't frilly or "girly." These three kids are encouraged to look after the "babies" and be gentle with them, and that transfers over to being gentle with real babies. I can leave my daughter on the floor and they'll run over and play with her. They haven't hurt her once, which is pretty good for kids of that age! They use the dolls to act out all sorts of things from their daily lives. Overhearing conversation, so far this year they've had house renovations, chicken pox, trips to the doctor and blood tests. The two boys may play with dolls, in fact both are being given dolls for Christmas (and yes, their dads approve!) They are not wimpy or girlie, they're just little boys like any other, with the added improvement that they haven't been programmed to be any more violent or angry than a small kid naturally is. What kind of role model is GI Joe? Why do guys still feel that being a daddy is somehow "unmanly?"

Answer 7

Wanting your child, especially a boy, to learn how to take care of something fatherly as a small child teaches them how to become great dads! It teaches them role play,and imagination, do you see anything wrong with that? The child you are talking about, the bear is his security blanket. Just like a blanket. There is nothing wong with boys playing with stuffed animals either. They are animals! Think about what you just said?

Answer 8

My son was 16 months old when his little sister was born. I bought him a very realistic looking baby doll before we brought his sister home from the hospital. He was horrible to that doll. Poked at it's eyes, sat on it, tossed it around the house... But he was great with his sister. Now he's been married for the past 7 years and has two beautiful boys of his own. He's a loving and involved dad and a great role model to them. Having had a doll hasn't hurt him in the least.

Answer 9

I don't see any big deal for a little boy to play with whatever his imagination directs him to play with - be it a doll or a truck or a teddy bear. A lot of these "boy toy" vs "girl toy" force these gender rolls on kids and really all they want to do is play with some toy. I think forcing a kid to play with a differnt kind of toy or forcing him to give up a much loved teddy bear is going to do a lot more harm than letting him play with the toy of his choice.

Further, if your son was gay - this is being proved more and more that it is a biological function than a choice etc - then would that be so awful? Would you really love your son any less?

It makes more sense to encourage your son to be a good person, empathetic, loving and strong than worrying about what you perceive to be an effiminate toy. Kids have enough to deal with than worrying about mom yelling at them cause they want to snuggle up with a teddy bear.

Answer 10

I don't see anything wrong with it. My boys 7 and 5 both have stuffed animals and from time to time play with their sisters' dolls and barbies. i mean they don;t make a big habbit out of it, or want their own baby dolls but I dont see it hurting them.
There have been studies done on boys/men who played with dolls when they were younger and who didn't and it showed that most of the boys/men that took batter care of babies (their needs, soothing them ect) played with dolls! If you think it makes them a sissy or what not I beg to differ. Both of my boys are on hockey teams, they still play army guys, they pretend they are fighting off evil robots and aliens and they love to be boys.

there are ken dolls! thats what i ment when i said barbies...