unsupportive parents?

Question

my parents are not the most supportive. i want to practice more and dedicate more time to figure skating, but my parents don't want me to.

They don't understand much about figure skating. Its not like they don't let me, but they don't care much for it... and they use guilt and say, "we have done so much for you, brought you to the rink, etc. the least you can do is... " (and then they don't let me practice) Also, they think that school is more important... but they honestly don't need to worry about that because they know that i know that school is important and i do get good grades. They say, "we have to go to work everyday. how can we find time to drive you to the ice rink??..."
But i work hard in school and at home too. Sometimes I stay up later than them working. I wake up early in the morning to study and do more work. But i can and i do find time that i can use to skate, but the problem is, they don't let me use it.

HELPPPPP!!!!!! What do i do???

Answer 1

I think I would keep up what you're doing, but maybe illustrate it for your parents. Keep your grades up, keep doing your chores at home, but explain to them that you do your best to be a good student and kid, but you keep doing things to make them happy and need a little support to do the things that give you personal satisfaction. Bottom line is you have to be happy to make them happy. Maybe write out a list of your priorities and goals and show them that yes, school comes first, but a life of all work and no play -- as everyone knows -- isn't always the best path to success. It's all about balance. Maybe work out a "contract" with them. Write out the chores you do and what you do to help them.....most kids want an allowance so they can buy what they want....you just want to be able to skate. Negotiate with them that you will make sure all the things they need you to do at home are done before you go skating....with the understanding that if it's not done, you can't go. If you show them that you're willing to help them as much as you can, they will be willing to help you. COMPROMISE! :) That's great that you already help them out, but maybe they just need to see it in a more tangable way. Be sure to approach the issue with them as maturely as possible and have your "sales pitch" well practiced.

Skating is expensive and sometimes it is hard to get to the rink....especially if you work or are at school all day. Is there anyone else at your school that maybe heads to the rink too or anyone you can car pool with? Or do you have a relative who can take you? My aunt used to pick me up after school and drop me off at the rink and when she needed a babysitter, I would watch her kids. Maybe if your parents can't pick you up right away, take your homework and get some done while you're waiting -- maybe they'd feel less pressure to get there at a certain time. In the future, maybe you can get a job at the rink to help pay for skating. Also, maybe educate your parents about skating...without them knowing it. :) Say, "Hey, mom, look at this cool new jump I'm working on," and just show them a little of what you're doing at home. If you're working on a program, choose a song that you know one of your parents really likes...let them know why you picked it..."I know you like this song, so I thought I'd dedicate my program to you!" Turn on skating when it's on TV...."See that spin she just did? Being able to do that is one of my goals. It's called a _________ (fill in name of spin)."

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you!

Answer 2

I know you want a horse, but if your parents can't afford the full cost to own a horse, you really should not plan on getting one. At 13, there is no way you can consistently earn enough money to provide for the many costs associated with horse ownership. On top of the fixed costs of boarding and feeding a horse come the costs of deworming, farrier/trimming service every 6 weeks, routine vet care like vaccinations and tooth floating at least once or twice a year, and vet service anytime there is an injury or medical issue. Horses vary just as much as humans do. Some require special feeds or medicines to remain healthy. You are planning to own a horse based on the barest minimum cost one could encounter, when the opposite is what you should be assessing. Figure out all real and potential costs, and I think you will realize that a 13 year old cannot make enough money to cover it. You would do better to consider a half lease agreement which will still stress the pocketbook, but be less expensive. Or just stay with lessons and avoid a monetary commitment that may be more than you can afford.

Answer 3

I know that's tough, becasue I when through exactly the same thing when I was a teenager. I started skating late--age 16 or so, and my rink was 30 min. from home. It sounds like you have a passion for skating. Some parents don't get that. If you can explain to them what skating does for you (e.g., helps you make friends, feel healthier, stay fit, feel good about yourself/self-esteem, etc.), they might be more on board with it. Maybe not. When I was old enough to get my own car, I got a job at the rink, made friends with management who helped me get free ice time, was able to pay for own skates and lessons.

Answer 4

Well, I see a lot of unsupportive parents from the forums. In my rink, it's more of skaters who don't like skating.

What is your schedule? maybe you should plan everything out on paper and show your folks? My parents do not support me skating, but fortunately, I do not need them to drive me there since the transport system is in my favour. Show them that you have everything planned already.

If your parents simply do not understand what is so great about the sport, you can be happy that at least they are putting you through your lessons. Make the most of your lesson and talk to your coach. He/she might talk to your parents. I paid for my own practice since fifteen.

Do you know any of your neighbours or someone of legal age who will drive you to the rink?

I can tell you are very dedicated and would like to get serious. Sometimes parents are just like that. Talk to them calmly, with proof of everything you planned. Also, show them the wonders of the sport. Work hard.

All the best.

Answer 5

Skating is not free...who is paying for your ice time and lessons? I was a skater and am now a coach and if your parents are paying, I'm sorry, you really don't have a choice in the matter.

The best you can do is as someone else has mentioned, lay out a plan for your parents showing them how you can get everything done and than see what they say.

I have to say though, it sounds like all you do is: get up and study, go to school, go skating, do more work and then go to bed. What kind of life is that for you?? You need to be able to grow as a person and yes, skating is a part of that but it isn't everything. You need your friends and family, you need a job, you need a good education, and you need some down time for just you.

I love skaters who are really passionate about the sport...makes life as a coach much easer...but I can also tell when a skater is burnt out. Please, if you don't pace yourself, you will regret it in the future.

Enjoy life...trust me, the older you get, the quicker time flies by!

Answer 6

I know what you mean.
My father died 4 years ago, so it's just me and my mum. And I feel really guilty going to the rink on Saturdays while she just sits there (she dosent want to skate).

Try to make it clear to your parents that you love skating, and you alreday do HEAPS for them. After all, they chose to have a child and I think that they should deal with it.

I also think my mum get annoyed with me talking about skating so much, lol, I crazy about it!

Good Luck, and I hope your skating goes well.

Answer 7

ok when i was growing up i did alot of extra things to to please my parents because they thought school was priority and chores second then work after school .. i had to quit playing sports because of it.. my answer to you is that if you are truely mature to know that figure skating is a very complicated sport and you are capable of balancing that along with continuing to make good grades and homework and family life and friends and stuff then your parents should back you up on what ever you want to do... by the way even if you are not mature enough to come to the conclusion that all of this will be hard your parents should still support you NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... they are your parents and should be happy even if you chose to be a bum no matter the dramatic changes you make in your life parents should always be there because i lost contact with my dad because of his control over me and its really hard not talking to him... so do what makes you happy if you can... and if your parents truely love you and see that you are trying and enjoying what you are choosing to do then it will be worth it.....

Answer 8

Step 1 is to try to look at things from your parents' point of view. How much time do you expect them to devote to your skating? What other commitments do they have?