I mean he will always be my "daddy", but now it kinda makes since through the way he treated me different from my siblings, and I really dont look like him.... Can anyone give me any help on how to find my birth father. Also when I talk to my parents about it, they freeze up and really dont tell me much, so any help would be great
2007-12-13 15:09:10 · 7 answers · asked by Jenn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I hope he didn't treat you different in a bad way. But I think if this man is going to raise you AS HIS OWN then he should deserve some credit for that because he was never obligated to. I hate when people find out the same thing then all of a sudden "can't think of this person the same way". He raised you as his own, put clothes on your back, fed you etc. Where was your real parent growing up?
2007-12-13 15:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Das ist mein fluch 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I was lucky because the father that I knew did treat me with love. When I was small, I would run to him when he came in from work and reach for him to pick me up. I would search his pockets for candy or whatever, even a soap sample from a hotel, it didn't matter. I was about 50 years old when I discovered that he wasn't my biological father (which my husband suspected for years). My husband and I think we know who my father was and I knew him, but I'm glad my dad was my dad. I kinda worked the subject into a conversation once or twice with my mother and what ever happened (or didn't happen) she didn't remember -- completely blank and complete denial. I felt that to pursue this direction would only lead to heartbreak and sorrow, so I let it go.
My sister was shocked when I brought it to her attention and she said "That explains a whole lot!" We were so stunned that I drove us to a local Waffle House and we sat, eating and drinking coffee (I don't even drink coffee!) until about 5:00 a.m. and I drove her back to her motel.
I went through a lot of emotions at first, wanting to know everything, feeling anger, lied to, used and I don't know what else. Now, 5 years later, I really don't think about it much. I'm just thankful that I knew my biological father, that Daddy was my "real" father, I knew the half sibilings (that I only knew as cousins) when I was growing up and watched some of my nieces grow up, even though I didn't know they were nieces at the time. By the time I found out about all of this, both my uncle, my step-father, and half-sister (cousin) had already died. I've spoken to a few trusted people and they agree that it was the "family secret" that had been whispered about all these years.
I wouldn't know how to go about finding your birth father unless you had some information on him. Is his name on your birth certificate? Did you find out that you were legally adopted? Try a Yahoo or Google search if you have any information. Don't pressure your parents if they don't want to talk about it. They may change their minds one day, but may just not be ready to talk about it yet. Maybe your mother was assulted or your father was her first husband and was abusive to her. I feel that with patience, prayer and keeping an eye out for clues, papers, records (check public records where you were born) or anything that my give you a lead, you will find the answers that you seek.
Think carefully before you seek your answers because once you do, there's no going back. You may find out something that you wish you didn't know.
2007-12-13 15:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a little more time to get used to the new situation before you go searching for your birth father. There is a whole lot of emotion flowing around at the moment and I think it would benefit you all as a family to do this. Your dad also has to get used to you knowing, and this is complicated for him. He is probably feeling very self-conscious of how he relates to you and you all need to adjust.
2007-12-13 20:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A Dad is someone who has raised you and has been there through thick and thin. He was there when you were sick, during Christmas, 1st Steps, helping with schoolwork and gives you love everyday.
Your Bio Dad is nothing more than a sperm donor. Don't bother finding him, if he wanted to see you he would have already. You have a father.
2007-12-13 15:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by sheilakel 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
that sucks
and i didnt mean that in a bad way
but its prolly realli hard for u to be going thru that
my brother didnt know who his real dad was untill he was 15
and it was really hard for him
and i hope your ok thru all this
and if u need to talk to your parents about it they should talk to u instead of just freeze up
tell them that u need to talk about it and that they shouldnt be the ones nervous or scared or watever to talk about it cuz your the one who has to deal with it
and they atleast should explain
i mean dont make it sound like they owe it to u cuz they take care of u and raised u and stuff but let them kno how u feel
but also let your dad kno that hes still your daddy your no matter wat cuz it might help if he really knos that ( =
2007-12-13 15:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your mom must know if i were you ask her alone and tell her you won't say nothign to your dad you have now that you have to know its your right and you have to find out who your dad was. that is all.
2007-12-13 15:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your grandmother.
2007-12-13 15:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by luv-bein-nana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋