I'm on a "break" with my boy friend because after dating him for a month he stoped wanting to hangout with me, he wouldnt do anything for me, just come to see me once a week for an hour or so.. Whenever I told him that I wanted him to want to have more of a relationship with me he would say that he would do anything to make it work with me but he has not changed one bit so after 8 months of this I broke up with him when I got really sick and he stuck by me through the whole thing, but when I finally got better he stoped coming to see me again and never invited me over. Its almost been a year now sense our relationship begain :( I asked him why he didnt want to see me or treat me like when we first started dating and he said his heart isnt in it. but he says he loves me and he wont let me go. what should I do?
2007-12-13 14:42:26 · 23 answers · asked by Allyboombally 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He obviously has no problem with the way things are and if his heart isn't in it then you can't force him to be more considerate, and want to be with you. I think it's time to break it off.
2007-12-13 14:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a confusing little boy. and that's all he is. a little boy. if he loves you as a girlfriend, just friend, or even person, he wouldn't keep you running in circles after him.
it sounds like he really does care about you, obviously, he stayed by your side when you were sick, yet at other times, he deserts you
you two shouldn't be more than friends. and being "just friends" after a serious relationship can be really hard. it might just be easier to try not to spend much if any time together
sit him down and talk about what he sees within the next 2 months between you two. if he wants to be simply friends, you make the final call. if he wants something more, you need to lay some ground rules
2007-12-13 22:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by Meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your relationship needs a complete cut. He obviously doesn't want to continue the relationship the way it once was or else he would have wanted to talk to you about your changing relationship. He stuck by you when you were sick, so he felt needed then. Maybe now he feels neglected or that he's not as special in your life anymore. Either way, it's been a year. Let the relationship dissolve and move on. You deserve someone who wants you, not someone who turns you away.
2007-12-13 22:47:56 · answer #3 · answered by verisimilitude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him to the curb! Seriously! You deserve to have a man who wants to be with you! He loves you because you have been a part of his life but he is to big of a sissy to break your heart. In actuality if he had brains enough to think he would realize he is only hurting you more by stringing you along. It is time to go! Find you a man that thinks about you everyday, someone who calls just to hear your voice and who will treat you like you deserve!
2007-12-14 01:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by james h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be with him? If he doesn't spend time with you, and doesn't make any effort to change when he knows it bothers you, then why do you want him so badly? You deserve someone who does want to spend time with you...and go out..and care about you even when you aren't sick. He isn't worth the heartache. If he is ready to change after the break, give it another shot...but if it's the same ole same ole, let him go. Good guys don't treat women like that.
2007-12-13 22:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by amieretto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, he's just not that into you, but he's keeping you around a safety net in case he never meets a better girl. I know he was great to stand by you, but that's also what friends are for. I'm sorry hun, but you should give him the flick. After all, doesn't everyone want and deserve someone who'll be madly into them? I know that's what I'm looking for. Don't sell yourself short, you deserve that too!
2007-12-13 22:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow!! sounds like me asking the question!! i've gone through this before and i havent been with that guy in about 5 years!!
it seems to me that he only sees you when he wants to. its like you're his security girlfriend!! that way he can always say he has a girlfriend ... i wouldn't be suprised if he were playing around behind your back!! thats what happened with my situation and when i found out for certain i went playing behind his back!! i THOUGHT i was in love with him, truth was i didnt want to be alone either!!
it's harder to say than to do, but you should walk away!! let him know that you deserve better than what he's been giving you!! if he has to change then it's not meant to be in the first place!! i know that's hard to hear, but the truth hurts sometimes!!
good luck girl !!
2007-12-13 22:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Atheen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants! if his heart isnt in it! but he loves you and wont let go! he is trying to be controling- to where it is the way he wants it right now! just take your break and see what happens! maybe if you give him space he will figure out what he wants! as much as you can do something for yourself too!
2007-12-13 22:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by dls1121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe he loves you very much but he doesn't have enough time to hangout with maybe he is busy with some very important matter if you really love him you must understand him ask some reasons why he doesn't want to hangout more with you... ask him in a nice way
2007-12-13 23:21:39 · answer #9 · answered by mhybz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
Ive been with my bf for 7 years so i think i am capable of giving u a bit of advice.
#1 guys dont respond to words but actions.
u need to just show him with your actions that u wont take anything less, so just keep busy, go out with friends, get involved in other things.
so dont ask him any questions about you guys, you need to just SHOW him, asking him questions just shows him u care so much which leads him to feel 100% capable of acting however he does act, bc he knows u care.
just dont ever allow a guy to feel like he has 100% control of u, not even when u r married.
if he wants a 2nd shot, make him PROVE IT!!! not with words but with actions......if some1 really cares they will show it...dont be dumb, you seem smart and pretty so dont be the begger or the one who waits...
goodluck!
2007-12-13 22:47:27 · answer #10 · answered by Kika 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋