Windfall and family (almost in law) drama over it?

Question

In the past year, I won an North East Coast multi-state Lottery jackpot that after taxes, came about to a little over 48 million.

I was living on SSI due to anxiety problems caused from a violent and abusive childhood. I had been dating this guy for almost six years. He left for two of the months without even saying good bye b/c we'd been arguing about his rock & roll lifestyle partying. n the past few years he's been back, he plays a lot in bands at bars coming home drunk and high. His sisters have been demonic to me. He warned me they are drama queens. His mom and dad have been sometimes warm sometimes cold. They side with their daughters.

I have decided to give a quarter of my money (12 m) to charities around the world that I've already chosen based on reviews.

I am keeping half (14 million in a Swiss bank account and 10 million in USD here. *At some point I'd like to marry and get out of cold East coast for NW coast or maybe abroad. IDK.

I will ask questions now:

1) b/f was saying he didn't believe in marriage after 6 years 2gether and chose his music over me. I still love him but rock & roll musicians r not hubby material.
He now is interested in $. He feels I should give him 1m since that's what he would've given to me if he'd won. But if I do that, he'll party it away and I won't see him until he needs $. He thinks it's wrong to give it to him divided in the next ten years (100g/yr X 10 yrs). What do you think?

2) His family wants to know why I haven't given them anything yet. The parents once let me live there but they also put me through hell when there daughter and I got in huge fight. One daughter still doesn't talk to me. In fact, her young son said she wanted us to take him out and he was suppsoed to hurt himself and she was going to sue b/c her hubby went to law school, so I am keeping my distance from her.

*What would you give to his parents? I thought 100g would be fine since they hardly spoke to me for the past years except short talk on the holidays.

3) Last, I rented a townhouse (1g-ish per month) and one for my b/f. I told him I wanted to be friends and am giving him 1m over 10 years. He thinks I am a total sh#t now. He feels I won and now I'm walkign out. But how is it if I want to be close but I don't want to be home loenly nights while he's out playing crap gigs and coming home in the wee hours drunk?!!!
*Even with the 100g he received this year, he's talking about booking all this studio time and putting a tour across US 2gether, so I'm paying him to further desert me? NO!
Please advise.

I'm not greedy, I'm anonymously giving a lot away trhough charities. Thank you.

Littlemi good idea! revsuzan sorry to give you impression b/f didn't do anything, he gave me place to live for several years and let me use his car a lot! He just wasn't emotionally there, so that's why I want to give materially something back to him (;

Answer 1

LOSE the LOSERS honey. Becareful I have seen people lose their friends, family, and life just because of the jealousy they have towards the person with the money. You should high tail it to some parts unknown and get a really nice place. You deserve the best GOD gave you the money but not so that people could take advantage of you. They don't deserve a cent just because you stayed with them. They are clearly losers and don't deserve a nickel. I come from a very successful recording family here in the U.S.A. and we worked hard to get where we are. $ 100,000 a year won't get this loser far. A tour with one bus and one rig costs upwards of $ 25,000 a week with band and roadies. It isn't cheap and usually you don't make money touring. Your boyfriend doesn't have a CLUE to the record business. You should seriously DROP THESE LOSERS from your family. Becareful with them and their friends they only want to use you. You have a lot of money and let me tell you honey SHE WHO CONTROLS THE GOLD CONTROLS ALL !!! You should explore other possiblities and perhaps go to college if you haven't already. Learn to manage your own money or at least learn more about FINANCE and ACCOUNTING so that you can assist your financial advisers. Remember the only one you truely have to worry about in this world is you !!! GOOD LUCK SWEETIE !!!!

Answer 2

wow.. what charities are you giving it to? I guess I would be pretty bitter if they were all so rude to you. but I think 1 million is to much for on and off again ex that seems like he's only interested in the money. As for your almost inlaws give them the 100,000 if that. But I don't know if i'd give them any. I just didn't live in your situation so I don't know.
Did you really win or are you just talking? I wish I would but I guess I'd have to play to win huh. I can't even afford the lottery ticket in the first place. I would use the money for good, I think it is great that you're giving to charities but why not try some unconventional donating, such as ordering a bunch of pizzas and send them to the after surgery unit of a children's hospital, trust me I think the warmth you would feel knowing that you fed these parents who a lot of times simply do not have the money to eat why they are there, or put a bunch of food and presents and stuff on the doorstep of someone you know that really needs it, these things are magical. Help someone that might be poor but doesn't qualify for help or might but they think others need it worse than they do. That is what I would do. The people that are just over the limits are the poorest of all because they do not receive aid and often have to go without.

Answer 3

It is your money.
Cut the entire lot of them loose and quit paying for your BF's townhome.
Don't give them any more money!
They have never been there for you and this is their come-uppance.

At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with.

Answer 4

I find it 'normal' for folks to treat you anyway they want when 'they' have the upper hand (more than you have). Let the tides turn, and my how sweet everyone is now. Your gifting to charities is honorable in this day and age of "me-ness". As for the family drama; firstly, they are not 'family'. The money is yours to do with what you please. The song, "Take the money and RUN" comes to mind. You can and should do exactly what you want to do with the money. A new location, a new mindset, and absolutely, new folks in your life. Go somewhere you have always wanted to be, don't let on that you have money, and enjoy yourself. My idea has always been a two-step process. First step: go somewhere I do not want to live, but would enjoy. Spend time there spending money and having a great time. Second step: then go to where I really wanted to spend the rest of my days. Preferably, a tropical climate where I can wear shorts and sandals and become one of the locals... living meagerly, not letting on I have money, and enjoy what is left of my life.

Answer 5

First of all, congrats on winning the lottery. It's a very noble thing to give away so much for a good cause.

Ok, so your boyfriend: leave him. He does not care about you at all, and probably just wants to use you. If all he cares about is music and money, he will not make a good husband AT ALL. In fact, staying with him will cause more harm than good. Furthermore, even if he (miraculously) changes, his family will cause many problems.

As for the money you are giving to the family, don't bother. They don't deserve it, as they have only antagonized you. And they will probably leech more off of you.

In conclusion, get as far away from these people as you can.

Answer 6

Your spouse more often than not feels a way of accountability for the reason that she was once extra of an grownup in her house than a baby. Just be robust to your spouse and hold her in treatment for the reason that she demands to speak to an function character alternatively than her husband. Sometimes speakme those matters out along with her will simplest make you look just like the dangerous man even though you're simplest seeking to be functional. Sending cash will simplest be sending the message that the following time she will get in main issue you'll be able to bail her out. It is plenty to your spouse to manage immediately. Sometimes you have got to permit adults determine matters out for themselves,until she is harming her self and risky. Then you could wish to take her to court docket and emerge as her authorized mum or dad and make her get the aid she demands.

Answer 7

You know what it is your money. The heck with all of them. Suddenly everyone is your best friend. You do what you feel is the best. If you really don't want to give them the money don't. If you do give a mil to the BF do it only once. If he disappears you are better off. If he returns don't take him back and don't give him any more money. Take care of yourself first. These people are just deadbeats.

Answer 8

keep your money, give what you want to charities like make-a-wish or whatever. I wouldn't give the BF a cant or his family. Anyone who treats you like trash until you have something they want, whether it's money, sex, or you time isn't worth it! A true family will care about you no matter how rich or poor you are, and whether or not you can do something for them. Dump these money grubbing losers and if they don't like it tough! You should not feel guilty for watching out for yourself!

Answer 9

I wouldn't give money to anyone that doesn't really care about me and that would include his family! ditto to what the earlier post says.. give only to who you really want to because it will never be enough. thay will only come back for more later.. trust me on this!