Even though I'm 17, I've already have 1 1/2 semesters of college under my belt, don't do drugs or alcohol, and maintain A's and B's. Overall a good kid, and 18's two weeks away, but my parent's are still smothering and controlling me. If i don't call or email at least once a week, or if I ignore/don't see/don't write back to my mom's emails, all hell breaks loose. I've tried talking to her, but every time it turns into her either getting her feelings hurt (because she feels like she's worthless now that her duty as mom is over, and gets seriously depressed) or gets angry (because she usually twists my words so that it's like I don't care about them anymore, and she flips out).
I don't know what to do...how can I talk to her to say "I'm a big boy now" without all the fireworks that's she's brought lately? I don't want to be an *** and break it to her hard and she get depressed, but I can't stand her treating me like a baby when I'm 18! PLEASE HELP!
2007-12-13 14:05:13 · 7 answers · asked by Ryan Koch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She also insists on being in contact with everything I'm involved in to know exactly what I'm doing. Facebook, Yahoo IM, AIM, the works. Again, I'm stuck in the same position where, if I tell her to back off, she'll get offended. What do I do?
2007-12-13 14:07:15 · update #1
Pick a day of the week or month. And call it mother's day. Your mother is only going through the emotions of motherhood. It is hard to lose a child in any situation. Believe me I know.
2007-12-13 14:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by springful 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do some big boy things with her. Invite her out to the movies, your treat, or take her to a nice place for dinner (again) your treat.
Behave like a mature adult, and let her know how much you appreciate that she did such a good job in teaching you how to be a good man.
Use adult terms, not slang, and smile at her a lot. It's normal for moms to do this. I cried my eyes out when my youngest son left for USMC basic training, although I celebrated my girls leaving. It is hard to let go of someone you've spent so much time and energy on.
Really, the best way to get her to let you go is to keep her around. There is no harm in saying hi to your mom once a week in a nice e-mail. What is wrong with that? She'll start finding other things to do with her time.
You could introduce her to a hobby, too. Find something that you know she likes to do and help her pick out some equipment to begin on it. Stained glass takes a lot of attention, as does painting and art.
You have to help her break loose. Like I said, be mature, include her, but in an adult world setting, not her home, because that is where you were a child.
Be sure to tell her you appreciate what she has done for you, and that no matter what you will love her.
Good luck and you should be proud. Your mom is!
2007-12-13 14:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by Kathryn P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she did such a good job raising you, that you are now an independent grown man who knows what he is doing. Maybe because you are 17 and don't live at home she feels like she failed as a mother somehow?
I think you should check in at least once a week. Just so she doesn't imagine you passed out under a bridge somewhere. It is a scary world. Give the woman some peace of mind. But at the same time, you don't have to call her everyday to chat.
If all else fails, tell her she needs a hobby or a new pet.
2007-12-13 15:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because your 18, it doesn't mean that you don't need your parents and their wisdom. There is an old saying about not burning your bridges behind you, so call your parents once a week and answer e-mails - how long does it really take.
By the way, I'm sure you don't turn down the money that they send, return the things they buy for you, or contribute to your education.
2007-12-13 14:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wait a minute! you're sixteen and your boyfriend is exceptionally much 17, meaning he remains sixteen and additionally you desire to circulate in with him considering the fact which you're under pressure from college? i think of it is your dating alongside with your boyfriend it incredibly is perchance bringing on the rigidity. in keeping with hazard you have been putting greater time into the dating and not on college paintings. it incredibly is in many instances what happens with childrens in romantic relationships. something constantly suffers and it is constantly college paintings. pass the shifting in with the boyfriend. If the government have been given wind of this your mom and father might probably get hauled in via the youngster secure practices facilities for baby ignore. as a exchange, talk getting those college credit you're lacking. attempt summer season college as an occasion. do no longer convey forth further rigidity via shifting in with the boyfriend. it is going to grow to be greater like marriage than purely boyfriend/female pal and that could incredibly be tense!
2016-12-31 10:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Katepere had great ideas. Try to think of things she can still be a help on. How can I get tomato juice stain out of my khakis? Can you teach me to make that great cherry dessert I love? Do you live in an apartment? Every time you go home ask her to teach you how to cook something. That's what I did to my mother and what our daughter did to my wife.
2007-12-13 14:38:00 · answer #6 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 20 year old son moved out a year and a half ago. I'm still not over it!
2007-12-13 14:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by Helen T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋