What gives you hope, when life is difficult :) ?

Question

This was a very difficult year, for my family. It looks like we're having our saddest Christmas ever and, although I'm not religious, this time of the year means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to my Mom.

Yesterday was my parents' wedding anniversary and, when I went to kiss them good night, I found them holding hands, and looking at each other in a way that warmed my heart. They went through a lot together, and for reasons I prefer not to write here, there were times when I thought their marriage wouldn't survive.

When, after all that, I see what I saw yesterday, something tells me that everything will be well for our family, somehow, eventually :)

What gives YOU hope, when things are difficult?

Thank you for your answers! :)

Have a wonderful night/day! :)

Answer 1

I know it will be better tomorrow... and if not.. maybe the day after that... so I just wait. I am so sorry I don't have a better answer but sometimes that's all there is for me. Of course, I can also look to you for inspiration.

You always seem to have a kind word for everyone... even the most annoying people... lol. It's true ~ that gives me hope... to see kindness given where none is warranted... and not out of some god driven fear of eternal damnation.... nope.. just because you are who you are.

Thanks Moon. {{{{ Moon:) }}}}

Right now, I hope the Karaoke singing coming from the house up the street stops.. so I can get some sleep... lol :) .... but tomorrow will come... so all I need to do is wait.

Answer 2

So many things give me hope that it would be difficult to list them all here. Like your parents I am sure, my children and grandchildren give me hope. My songs give me hope, thinking about the idea that someone may be singing them long after I have gone beyond to whatever adventure waits beyond the veil. Acts of kindness give me hope. My students even give me hope, knowing that the knowledge I have passed on to them will be passed on again and again, added to, and tested in real life situations that I can only imagine. The spirit of the anonymous gift gives me hope. The idea that a religious person named Nicholas would get the idea that it might be fun to leave small presents of food or money at the doorstep of widows and mothers with orphans and then run away just before they open the door. The idea that people would continue to give presents in his name, keeping that name alive, as well as the spirit in which the present was given. To the orthodox Jews, this is a form of immortality! My wife gives me hope every time she puts up with me! A new idea, a great book, a particularly meaningful movie, a crisp clear morning, the sound of the surf as the tide comes in, a pretty girl, a reassurance from a friend, a compliment from a stranger, watching someone master a skill that I know they have been struggling with for a long time, all give me hope. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel, in that it is all in what you look for. Some people look for hope, and some only turn away, imagining that it is a truck or a train.

If you are going through trials, remember back to the times when you have helped someone else through a trial, and that should give you hope. If you have sadness in your life, think back to a profound joy, and that should give you hope. Memory, the support of the friends and family who love us, and the knowledge that every day has a little bit of joy in it to find, should sustain you until you pass this time of sorrow. Hang in there, and if you need to talk, you know where I am.

Answer 3

Moon,
I am going to answer this in the morning. I am just beat for now - I can't email you, so I beg your forgiveness in not providing my thoughts to your question at this point now.

Star is coming your way my friend. Great question - will visit this in the AM and give it the time it deserves.

Best to you!

Gerry :)

EDIT UPDATE: Moon, good morning my friend.
"What gives me hope, when things are difficult?"

As a former U.S. Marine and the fact that the "fighting hole" is now a euphamism for all things "difficult" ("Jarhead" by heart, warrior by nature of character) difficulties or trying times are mere battles for me (without the drama) some I consider skirmishes others require all out war.

What gets me through is merely the thought of "getting through it". This includes either beating the difficulty hands down or accepting the fact that at times compromises have to be acknowledged and accepted. The wisdom to know the difference between the two, and like with so many other things being able to just "move on" without prejudice toward the person or the event that forced the "battle" to come out from me. These are not emotional events for me by the way. Responding is much more important than reacting, sound decisions and thinking through are more significant than seeking the easy way out. There is also an embarkation point where "control" has been removed and acceptance of outcome acknowledged.

Hope this helps in some way, shape, or form for your own considerations and use.

Best to you my friend - Have a wonderful day!

Gerry :)

Answer 4

I rather abandoned hope many decades ago when I discovered Santa Claus was just a lovely idea but fun things happened anyway. I worked out that hope is mostly a sense of dissatisfaction with what is. It seemed to me to make more sense to celebrate what is, whatever it was. Then it's better to settle for realistic planning for whatever might be possible. But I suppose what gives me the greatest sense of something much like hope are precisely things like you saw with your parents. Humanity makes life less than it can be much of the time - but in the mess, we learn to live with it, and muddle through, and there is love if we have the wit to give it, and thus find it. That's the only "hope" for all of us, and for humanity too. It beats Hell out of ready-made scripts and fantasies. Have a joyful Xmas, Saturnalia, or whatever you care for my dear, and look forward simply to life, whatever it brings, every day ahead.

Answer 5

i don't know, eating mangos made icy really happy, I'm thinking of incorporating that...

but seriously though....the fact that I wake up everyday... breathing...means I can live another day. that's what helps me through strained times. my line of work can be actually quite irritating but the fact that I CAN work is a blessing in itself. Also, I try to take life and situations with a grain of salt because when you get over the bump, life continues. I don't take things too seriously either, including myself..I mean dude, I'm a behavioral science teacher and a therapist and I have tattoos, piercings and I say words like "dude" so you gotta know I sit around laughing at myself! (and every once in a while I point and laugh at others as well :P )

Sorry to hear that your christmas feels so sad this year and I feel really bad about that, you have your family that is a blessing in itself, but you already know that.

this life we have is borrowed so it is precious, we never know when our due date is....a friend of mine who I've known all my life (he was my mother's neighbor and they grew up together) died in a motorcycle accident just before thanksgiving. it was very sad, I mean, we had just seen him at IHOP the day before he passed away, or was it denny's? doesn't matter the fact is we saw him at breakfast time and by dinner the next night, we get the bad news. He was in his early 50s, just like my mother, which is still so young. but he lived a full and very active life so I'm sure he didn't have any regrets. he lived life to the fullest!

problems come and go, and though they may be irritating, they let us know that we are ALIVE!!! and that's all that matters in the end.

I wish you and your family happiness and LIFE!

Answer 6

Hi Moon

I wish I had an easy answer for this, but unfortunately I don't. I try to tell myself that better days are ahead, knowing that they are, after all the pain and difficulty subside. Somehow, you grow through the tough times and come out better on the other side, and a little wiser through it all. Keep believing that better days are ahead,and tell this to yourself often, is one thing that gives me hope for a brighter day. I wish I could be of greater assistance. All the best. :)

Answer 7

In a way, I kind of give myself hope, because in most cases, I don't have anyone else.

I know a lot of people, though I'm close to very few. Regardless, I know that many of them have encountered harder times than I myself have.

There are some days, when I find myself reassuring them. Trying to make them okay again. I tell them it's not their fault. That they don't deserve it. I tell them the truth, in ways that they can hear it, and know it's true.

But once, I spoke with a friend when I myself was very down. She told me that she was tired of seeing me hurt, and she was done with our friendship. We still haven't reconciled, though I sure as hell have tried.

Regardless, the last thing she told me, was follow my own advice. Let go. Just.. be.

Answer 8

My fiancee, mostly. But my little brother as well, he can't help but put a smile on my face.

But also people like you. There is good everywhere if you care to look for it. Obviously, this fails in comparison to almost anything else real life provides, but as an example:
In general, this is a depressing section. Ignorance and insults fly around like Christmas reindeer. It's nice to see something like this posted. Thank you for sharing.

Answer 9

(((((Moon))))))

Well, one thing that makes me feel better is similar to what you mentioned. The site of an elderly couple, holding hands and making it plain to see that they're still in love warms my heart...

When I'm down and things aren't so good, I focus on a point in the future, such as Christmas, my fiance's birthday, a special day...anything that I have to look forward.

I hope things improve for you hon!

Answer 10

Awww... that is so sweet. Wow and a parallel in my life too. I have experienced extreme difficulties this past year with health issues and choice's that I alone am responsible for, and the man I love has always been there for me. His love and support are always illuminating and motivating. My heart floods with joy every night as he takes my hand in his before retiring. I am truly blessed as you and your parents are.