Very critical spirit. Enjoys belittling even children. Argues just
to argue. Seems to be intentional with her disrespectful remarks. Like looking for a fight. We are the only family. I don't believe there's a choice in whether to include.
Last Christmas, I spoke exact examples of the misbehavior.
And the 'victim' mentality continues.
Has anyone encountered this? What have you done?
2007-12-13 10:43:31 · 10 answers · asked by sotiredofhis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If it is that bad, then your house guest has overstepped their welcome. There is trying to make somebody feel comfortable in your home, but what you say is just utter disrespect and why would you have them in your house. You need to put your foot down and say that they are going to be a little nicer or that they can get out of your house. You need to stand up for yourself and your beliefs.
2007-12-13 10:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by TMull 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your house and home. You are expected to make the rules - and enforce them. You should expect that guests will honor and observe your standards for conduct and civility.
Explain your expectations as you might to a visiting child - "In our house we treat each other with dignity. We don't allow anyone else besides parents to correct or criticize children. We don't make belittling or antogonistic comments. We expect adults and children to all behave this way."
It will be hard, since she already has behaved inapproriately and seems to expect to continue. You will have to be very direct, very simple and very firm. Expect that she will argue, complain and accuse you of being unfair. Listen, but don't compromise.
It might help if you could put her up at a nearby motel - perhaps at your expense. At least you could have some quiet in the evenings and mornings - and a place to take her back to for a 'rest' during the day.
Remember to be clear about what you expect. If she has negative outlook on life, you shouldn't expect to make her into a happy cheerful person - She will still think the children are undisciplined, the food is bad, and the spouse is lazy. You can expect that she not say so in public.
2007-12-13 11:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by michael b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be respected and welcome into your home-but that doesn't mean she shouldn't respect you! Do invite her to your family Christmas-I mean, it would be AWFUL to spend Christmas by yourself! Just camly remind her as soon as she steps into the door, that this is YOUR house, and it will be followed by your rules. If she trys to argue and fight, don't argue or fight with her. Just quickly change the subject. If she goes back to the fight/argument, tell her you wish to speak to her about something more entertaining for everyone-not just herself. If she continues it even further than that, leave the room. You shouldn't have to deal with this behaviour-so why deal with it? If she does these things even on Christmas, tell her that you want this to be a special Christmas, and you want to make the Christmas extra-enjoyable for everyone. Explain to her that this constant rude behaviour of hers is bugging you and you'd enjoy if she carried on better conversations for everyone to listen to. Remind her that it IS Christmas, and you want her to feel included and to enjoy herself but you also want everyone else to feel that way, and that she's not helping it. Tell her that she's always welcome in your home if she has good behaviour, but you don't want to deal with any other kind of attitude. Also remind her how special she is to you, and how much you DO want her there. Don't get angry and explode at her over the things she has done. Just smile and explain to her how you feel. She'll get the picture.
But, I think, first you should ignore it. If she isn't getting the responses back that she wants, she'll turn towards a better, more-fulfilling attitude-I hope!
Good luck with your house guest!
2007-12-13 11:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sadly yes...far too many times, in fact. It is said that the best house guests allow the host to feel comfortable in their own home. I wish I could boast some innovative method for dealing with them, but all I've been able to manage in the thick of it is to grin and bear it. Then, after the fact, I employ the excuse strategy that hopefully precludes future visits. "Hey, we'll be travelling abroad this winter...sorry" 'What, on YOUR salary?' "Unexpected windfall, troll!"
Oh well, be that as it may, Happy Holidays!
2007-12-13 10:51:48 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get with the program. She lives under your house, even for a little while, then it has to be by your rules or she's out on the street.
You need to tell her straight up that this behaviour is unacceptable and you would rather kick her out on the street than let her ruin everyone's Christmas with her bitterness.
2007-12-13 13:25:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if a member of my family took it upon herself to belittle MY child, I would be all over her in a New York minute.
She behaves this way because she believes SHE CAN, & so far I'll bet she's right.
Has ANYBODY told her to STOP?
If she wants to be welcome in your home, lay down some ground rules for her to follow, & if she doesn't like it then she can darken someone elses Christmas.
2007-12-13 10:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to cut the bad stuff out. Explain to her one last time about her negative behavior, if she continues, ask her to leave and DO NOT invite her anymore. Life is too short to put up with CRAP, so just don't put up with it. This is your HOME and children, not hers, but then again, of course she has no home or husband, she's too negative. Take the trash out, she's smelling up the joint.
2007-12-13 11:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by legalgirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KICK OUT YOUR HOUSE GUEST
if she/he can't seem to respect your family members or to follow your house rules
then tell them to get out and get a place of their own
2007-12-13 11:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by Clueless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the guest again of the behavior that is intolerable and that they must leave. give a definite departure date and stick to it.
2007-12-13 10:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by kittymom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say this to that person
i love it when you come and stay for christmas but could you please be respectful in my home and take your negitivity else where
2007-12-13 10:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋