My ex-stepmom (she was my stepmom for 17 years from the time I was 1 until I was 18 and is like a second mom to me) just lost her new husband (together for just over 5 years) yesterday to a sudden heartattack. She's now a widow at age 41. I don't know what to say to her. I haven't called because I'm scared to. I have no idea what I can say to let her know how sorry I am. Any insight? Thank you.
2007-12-13 09:57:34 · 25 answers · asked by SouthernMomma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her you are so sorry for her loss, and you wish she did not have to go through this. Then just be there for her. She is the same person. If you used to call once a month continue to do so. Be available for her, and let her talk if she wants. But be ok with silence. Just be open to her.
Help her remember the good times with her husband, when you start to say something about him, do so, don't act like he did not important. He is still part of her, more her past but still with her in memory.
Good Luck
2007-12-13 12:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by D J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of what you have to say, just knowing that you care about her and wanted to call her will be a positive moment in a very negative situation.
It's not really so much that you don't know what to say as it is you feel you have to say something deeply meaningful or profound. Don't worry about any of that. Just tell her that you love her and that you are deeply saddened by her loss, and that you're there for her if there's anything you can do.
If you're not too far from where she is a suggestion that you get together for lunch in the near future would probably do wonders for her.
2007-12-13 10:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by nevit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send her a card in the mail, So it arrives when she may need it the most. Go to her to be there for her. Let her talk about the good times they had. Even though you may not of known him much you can see the love she has for him as she speaks.
Have her make a memory box, or collage of memories to frame.
Have her write a special letter to him then seal it up and put it away. As if she sent it just to him. Writing out the most personal and deepst hurts and the love they shared so freely.
Let her know it's not her fault. and that he's resting with no pain now. He'll wake to be with her When God comes to collect us to be with Him ( if she believes in God)
but above all be there for her.even if you feel out of place. She needs you and the close connection your share.
2007-12-13 10:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by poetbjc64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats the worst thing u could ever do by not calling her dont worry about not knowing what to say just be there for her and atleast let her feel comfortable and know that someone still cares for her.tell her straight up that ur sorry for what has happen and it could be anyone and god knows why he allowed this to happen.try to cheer her up by doing things she likes and telling her jokes that will indceed make her laugh try not to bring back any memories.and when u call try not tol be in an unhappy nood if ur happy antd keep on telling her that u love her shell cheer up.good luck on helping her.
2007-12-13 10:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by ashantie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm very sorry to your loss. I too have lost a companion, a tragic demise that the two myself and 4yr outdated daughter witnessed. enable me initiate by skill of announcing there are no words which will do away with your soreness. Noone precisely is well liked by what you experience in my opinion, they're going to attempt to help you yet in the tip that is you your self that should be waiting to settle for what occurred (tragic or not) and take one little step at a time. Will the soreness pass away in time that is going to, will you overlook, (in case you so percent) it will make you greater effective in the long-term. i did not think of i might get by using it in any respect and that is been 7 years now. I nevertheless think of of him at instances, once you hear a track or see a mutual buddy. rings gadgets me off into my previous life with him. He grow to be and could be a factor of your life, exceedingly with slightly lady on the way. Congratulations. you will continuously have something to recall him by skill of. He might desire you to pass on inclusive of your life and carry the suited little lady which you will have. It heavily isn't common yet in time you will have the capability. I desire you all the best fortune in the worldwide and in case you could check with somebody seek for out your pastor, counselor, buddy or heck touch me. my im is bud12tag.
2016-12-31 10:06:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her as soon as you can! She was there for you.....Tell her that you are there for her and ask her if she needs any help. She probably feels devastated and alone and really could use a familiar voice. If there are still good feelings between you two, just pick up the phone, tell her it's you, and let her do the talking. Don't be scared-lifes too short !!!
2007-12-13 10:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by hippyliza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how sorry you are. Hug her and tell her you love her and that you will always be there for her whenever she needs you. Don't promise her anything that your not willing or intend to keep. She very raw right now and she needs people to step up and protect her and care for her. If your a religious person or even a semi religious person trying going to church with her. Hope this helps. Take care and Best of luck!
2007-12-13 10:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Shortie Cake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you wrote is a good start. "I have no idea what I can say to let her know how sorry I am." Just be honest. The is nothing that you can say to take away her pain for now. But it would help her to know that you care.
May God comfort both of you.
2007-12-13 10:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by hamrrfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly what you just say here would be lovely :)
"Hi I don't know what to do or say to tell you how sorry I am about your loss. You're like a mother to me...please let me know if there is anything I can do."
The exact words I gave you will be fine.
Don't be scared. This isn't about you.
2007-12-13 10:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just call her up to see how she is doing. Let her know you are there for her in any way possible. Tell her you are real sorry and that you are thinking of her. That should be good enough.
2007-12-13 10:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋