My in laws just informed me that they would be coming for the weekend and I have a ton of stuff to do. 2 parties (1 is really important) a ton of shopping and errands as I have been out of town. My husband has the same. Now, we'll waste a day cleaning and all that.
How much is one expected to give up for a last minute visit? Also, any tips on appraoching them about this being not enough notice? It's sort of happened in the past.
Thanks for any advice :)
2007-12-13 09:29:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well your husband is the one that needs to talk to his parents about giving better notice for their visiting. If I were you, I would tell him to nicely talk to them. My parents would not just call and say that they were visiting, they would call and ask if they could come for a visit.
2007-12-13 09:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by rsrose13 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm single, divorced and my uncle does that every so often and of course the house is always a wreck when he suddenly out of the blue decides he and his wife would like to visit -- they did it while my son was here and the kitchen was a disaster, because I work during the week and the kids didn't do chores. No that I'm divorced, I pretty much keep the house spotless except for a few things, because I like it that way, but I absolutely HATE it when he visits suddenly without warning...it has gotten to the point that it REALLY pisses me off, because he's done it multiple times over the last 20 years...
2014-12-28 04:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow a spine! You sound like a real doormat. Is your husband a doormat too? Ppl can't take advantage of you unless you let them, and it is your house! How can other ppl just >invite< themselves to your house??!! You and your husband, with your husband taking the lead bc they are his parents, need to state very calmly, when you receive such a phone call, that this is not a good time for a visit, and they are welcome to come some other time - name the time if you can, or extend an invitation at some later date. You don't even have to explain to them WHY it is not a good time for a visit, BTW. It is none of their business.
For now - you need to call them back, both you and hubby on the line, and explain CALMLY that you love them very much, but that you were so taken aback at the sudden plan to come visit, that you were speechless and did not know what to say; that this weekend really does not work for you and you cannot offer to host visitors, bc you have other plans that were already made, and that in the future you will need at least a week's notice (or however long) to properly plan for them. DO NOT LET YOURSELVES GET TALKED OUT OF THIS.
2007-12-13 09:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you do have a perfect right to say "This weekend isn't a good time for us to receive visitors, so let's make it another time!"
If it happened in the past, & you allowed it, then that is probably a major factor as to why it is happening now, & if you don't start asserting yourself, then it's going to keep on happening in the future.
2007-12-13 09:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not give up anything, unless it can be done later. Tell them you have obligations that can not be rearranged and you are not available for company this weekend. Tell them they will have to stay at a hotel and you can manage 1 brunch or lunch visit with them, but your evenings are booked.
2007-12-13 09:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell them you have other things going on and don't have the time to socialize.
If they are coming for X-mas, then their visit can wait.
Or, if need be, they can come after X-mas.
If they don't have the courtesy to even ask before coming out, then you're not obligated to drop what you need to do for them.
2007-12-13 09:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-11 05:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a bit presumptuous of them to expect to stay at your place w/o even asking if you have plans or if it's alright with you. i think your husband should tell them this isn't a good weekend for you two and perhaps plan ahead for another time.
2007-12-13 09:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
speak up now, or it will keep happening. you & your husband have your own life now and it comes first, unless they don't mind a dirty house and sitting at home by themselves while you do what was already planned for the weekend.
2007-12-13 09:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by jeanniep 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the time to inform them that this isn't enough time is when they phone you to let you know.
To get back, have tons of loud sex and act as if nothing happened.
Brandon
2007-12-13 09:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋