does it ever seem to you that the more calm and consistent you are with discipline, the more your preschooler tests you? just wondering if it seems like this to anyone else?
2007-12-13 09:08:45 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i'm glad i'm not the only one who feels this way. i smiled to see others feel the same. i always tell myself i will be more patient. and today i really am trying to be. but i have a pounding headache and feel very irritable. although (my fingers' are crossed) i haven't yelled at him.
2007-12-13 09:18:22 · update #1
sorry lililou, but i am not following you. if you see this, can you restate what you said?
2007-12-13 09:19:31 · update #2
It does seem that way to me very often! the nicer and calmer i try to be, the more she just doesn't listen!
2007-12-13 09:11:52 · answer #1 · answered by blondie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
consistent, I dont think this makes them test you more
calm, maybe, from the Dr. Karp books and even classes on negotiation skills (for adults) there is a skill to be at an emotional level with the person you're negotiating with - youre negotiating with your child not to do something . That this proves effective in making the other see your point of view. Its not saying hit someone if they are hitting you. But sometimes when you are calm, and they are not, you come off more as patronizing then negotiating with.
2007-12-13 17:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by lillilou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm and consistant does work better in the long run.There will be times when it is easier. Although never when you have a headache, I'm afraid.
At three they so need to test you, and their limits. They want to be all powerful, all deciding. But they need to know you are going to keep them safe even from themselves. Keep up the good work!
I hope you have a partner who can takeover for a while so you can have a peaceful (although probably interrupted) bath. Good Luck!
2007-12-13 17:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by joyous4 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have noticed this with some of the teachers and parents that I work with who are always extremely calm, but consistantly so over and over again with their kids and I find that their children do seem to push the envelope over and over again. I find that with my own 3 year old, there is a time to be calm, and a time to get a bit more tough with her, especially before she starts loosing control of herself and she "knows" better. I do show my anger with her, but not by screaming or hitting. I do raise my voice sometimes to get my point across and can be very stern if I have to be with my own students. Don`t be afraid to show your "human side" to your kids. They need to see it every now and then!
2007-12-13 17:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by Smiley 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha, I told my hubby the other day, you aren't truly a parent until you're the parent of a 3 year old. :)
2007-12-13 22:32:55 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep! They are just seeing how far they can push you before you lose it! Don't, they'll stop, eventually!
2007-12-13 17:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by elizabeth v 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋