I've been dating a great guy for 9 months.About 2 years ago his wife of 10 years passed in a car accident and I'm the first person he's dated since.They had a maltese that is totally a nuisance.He's 14 and I think my man keeps him to remind him of his wife.Every morning he has to massage it's neck and back because it has arthritis and most nights he rocks it to sleep like a baby.I've been trying to get him to put it to sleep,but he refuses because the vet says that his arthritis is controlled with medication.About a week ago I finally got sick of it and took the dog to the pound.When my boyfriend came home and found out he went ballistic.He raced to the pound and was able to get him back with literally 30 minutes to spare.When he returned he told me to get out of his house,so I went to my mom's for the night and the next day I went to his house and all my stuff was in the yard and the locks were changed.I love him so much and don't know what to do.Any suggestions?He told me we're thru.
2007-12-13 08:41:25 · 57 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pets ➔ Dogs
You guys are so rude! It was just a dog and he was treating it like a child. I thought I would be doing him a favor by ridding him of this burden of a dog.
2007-12-13 09:18:11 · update #1
Several people have stated they believe I am making this story up, which now looking back, I wish were true. But every word I wrote is accurate and the only reason I posted it was to hopefully get some advice on how to win him back. But everyone here seems to be perfect and just wants to mean and put me down. Thanks a lot.
2007-12-13 09:43:48 · update #2
I went to his house today because I left some dvd's there. I tried explain to him why I did it but he wasn't listening.Then I told him that if I could move back in I would let him keep the dog,but it would have to stay in the backyard(he has a huge fenced in yard).He told me to go f**k myself,that I had no say in where he kept his dog and he didn't want me back under any conditions.I was trying to compromise but he wasn't willing.What else can I do?
2007-12-15 02:09:21 · update #3
If you took my dog that I'd had for 14 years to the pound, I'd dump you too. What an incredible lack of respect for the man's feelings. If you truly loved him you'd never have treated him that way.
2007-12-13 08:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by DaBasset - BYBs kill dogs 7 · 40⤊ 0⤋
Dogs are part of the family. Their not just an animal. They are like people's children.. I spoil my dogs all the time. The dog needs that care and love he was giving him. It would just be like your grandpa or grandma if they had that. Would you just say oh let's put them to sleep. NO!! Just because it's a dog it's not differemt. And it was not your pet. So you had no reason to do that. You sound like an ignorant person!!! I'm glad he got rid of you :)
2014-06-12 10:49:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had absolutely no right AT ALL to take his dog to the pound to be euthanized. That is NOT your call! Especially if you think he was keeping the dog for memories of his deceased wife! I don't blame him for kicking your a** out! I would have too! I cannot even begin to tell you how furious I would be if my boyfriend suddenly took any of my dogs to be euthanized without telling me. That is absolute nonsense! What were you thinking?!
If the dog is not in pain (you said yourself that the vet said he is FINE!), then why make your boyfriend that you 'love' so much give up his dog?! He obviously cares about it a lot if he massages it every morning! You are a selfish person, and I suggest that for the good of the dog and that man, you stay away from them!
You're upset that we are being mean and putting you down? Well I'm sorry, but you're getting exactly what you deserve. Actually, less than what you deserve...I'd kind of like to b*tch you out in person...as I'm sure many here would.
2007-12-13 09:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by Ya 5 · 12⤊ 0⤋
First off - it's not JUST a dog, it's a living breathing thing. Secondly, if the dog is to be put down, isn't that something that your boyfriend should be there for? To be with the dog? You think it's not terrifying and scary for even "just" a dog, to go into a doctors office (apparently going to the doctor's office is never traumatic for you). You don't understand a word that people say to you, your "daddy" is crying and upset, and then they put a needle in your arm and you are poof - dead. You think that isn't scary for a dog? You were just ready to drop it off at the pound - which is like an orphanage and have strangers that this dog has never met, that may or may not be overly nice, with strange dogs and strange smells, that's how you wanted the dog's last moments to be filled?
A person that does what you have done is not in love with their boyfriend. Love would never ever let you treat a person or animal this way.
How about we go with the opposite side of the coin. Someone is selfish and is upset that the dog gets more attention that she does. Someone is jealous of the dead wife.
Should he be treating the dog this way- as a baby, no - but it has NOTHING to do with his dead wife. If he got the dog after she died that's how he would treat it - that's the type of person he is. The dog is not the problem. He has issues about how to properly treat dogs, but his issues are more easily correctable than someone's.
Last i checked, you can teach a person to treat a dog like a dog. Last I checked, you couldn't treat a person how to be a compassionate human.
He's better off without you. What you did was terrible, reprehensible and showed him that you don't love him.
I also think you are lucky. Imagine if he had taken all your possessions to Goodwill - after all, it's JUST stuff.
2007-12-13 10:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 15⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I don't blame him.
I'm sure he misses his wife. 2 years is not enough time to get over a death of a loved one. That dog probably meant a lot to her therefor means a lot to him. He may feel like that is all he has left of her. He's trying to move on with his life (hence you) and you just ruined it. That dog means the world to him. He may need to see a councilor.
The dog having arthritis is no reason to put a dog down. Sounds like you got a lack of attention and got upset. That's selfish of you. He may be a little over the top with the dog, but you have to understand the mental issues behind that. You should have been more understanding and more loving.
You could you take a dog from someone you care about and take it to the pound. Obviously you don't care for this man. That was the most heartless thing anyone could do to your boyfriend. That is just terrible. You don't take someone elses pet to the pound, especially if you "love" that person. You're a witch and I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes.
My Grandma died six years ago. If she had a dog that I was left to care for I'd take such good care of that dog. I would be in the same shoes as your now ex-boyfriend. If my husband took my dog to the pound now....he'd find me and all of my stuff gone!
**Yeah there is a reason we are putting you down you idiot. There is no way to win him back. You shouldn't try anyway since you don't care about him. It isn't just a dog to him and you can't see that therefore you don't love him. My husband loves his cats and I understand and respect that. That's love....taking animals to the pound is not. You obviously are not ready for a realtionship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-12-13 08:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by Loves Dogs 5 · 15⤊ 0⤋
Wow. So about ridding him of this "burden"...did you even stop to think that maybe he loves this dog so much he doesn't care that it needs a little extra time and effort? Did you ever stop to think that maybe this dog is not a "burden" to him, but a member of his family? No, I suppose you didn't because you are clearly selfish and jealous enough to want this poor animal gone when all it has left to look forward to is the companionship of you and your now ex-boyfriend.
You say you talked to him numerous times about putting the dog down, and I can only assume he was completely against the idea, so what would make you think it would be okay to take this dog to the pound? That is practically putting it down for a dog that age, since he would be very unlikely to get adopted.
You were not his wife, you were his GIRLFRIEND of only 9 months. That is not even close to enough of a commitment for you to make a decision like that. You got what you deserved.
If I were him I would have let the dog have at your possessions before I threw them out in the yard.
**EDIT: I am in no way trying to be mean, I just do not think you have a chance in heck of winning this guy back, so therefore I have no advice for you in that area, just my opinion and a few things you might think about next time you are in a similar situation.
***EDIT #2: "if I could move back in I would let him keep the dog"
Are you kidding me? Your idea of trying to win him back is giving him conditions on the same dog that you dumped at a shelter and got kicked out for? That is not compromise honey, that is just you getting what you want. He would be compromising in that situation, but where is the give on your end? Anyway again I don't blame him for telling you to go f*** yourself, I would have said much worse than that.
Please, for his sake, for that poor dog's sake, and to save yourself the embarrassment and keep your dignity, just let him go and leave him alone. That's all you can do at this point.
2007-12-13 09:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by starzoomer 3 · 11⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you really made a mistake. I'm afraid there probably won't be any making up to do. Try to learn from your poor choice. People here aren't being mean, they are responding to HOW you told your story. Many people love their animals like family members. Obviously you have never raised an animal, loved and cared for it. Your actions and how you told us about it were quite "cold". Next time try to put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes. And TWO years is NOT a long time to heal from the loss of a spouse. Had that dog been a child would you have not helped your boyfriend care for him/her? Now do you see? Your boyfriend is probably trying to get over nearly losing his dog and losing you too.
2007-12-16 11:57:25 · answer #7 · answered by Duchess20 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't care whether you make up this story or not, but you are getting rid of his dog because he's annoying to you? That's not right. The poor dog is 14 year old and it's old for a dog. You have no right to turn him into the pound because you don't own the dog. How do you know that the dog is his burden? Having a dog is life commitment. I can see you are not a dog person. Sorry pal, that's not the right thing to do.
2007-12-13 10:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Wild Ginger 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
The dog's life or lack thereof was NOT your decision. It's yet another example of a female being jealous of an animal and using that as an excuse to forget their common sense. I doubt there is anything you can do to get the boyfriend back because of the fact that you behaved not only as a selfish, immature brat but also as a conniving sneak-thief. When you mature you will find another man. Next time go for one without a dog.
2007-12-13 14:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by Scelestus Unus 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yep he was 1000% right. I would do the same to my husband of almost 30 years if he got rid of even one of my 4 dogs or 3 cats.
To love him is to love his dog. As you said yourself the dog is old. You would not have had to share him much longer, but you blew it. If he's anything like most animal lovers there will be no second chance.
Learn from this huge mistake you have made and accept his word you are thru. Jelousy will get you nowhere. You were obviously jealous of the dog to do such a thing.
I do have just one suggestion. Grow up and do it fast. I feel you have to be pretty young to do such a thing. Surely no mature woman would have done this to someone they profess to love.
2007-12-13 11:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. P's Person 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame him one bit. You totally deserved it and then some, like the tip end of his steel toe boot way up between the butcheeks and a bit(hslap in the face on the way out the door. You're lucky that you got your stuff back, he could've dumped them off at a homeless shelter to have you go scramble over there; to see how you like that feeling. You're not even his wife, only his girlfriend of a measly 9 months; I can't believe you had the gall to try control the lives of the man and his beloved dog; to actually want to compete with a dog; you must be green with envy to do something like that.
Action speaks louder than words and by your actions you told him that not only don't you love him, don't give a hoot about his feelings, don't respect him, don't have a good heart but also are very selfish, insecure and vile.
What on earth did his dog ever do to you to deserve that?! You referred to the dog as a burden but obviously he's not the burden cuz he's back with his master and you're tossed out in the cold...hahahahaha!
What you should do now is go get a clue and while you're at it, get a little sensitivity, compassion and common sense too.
You obviously don't have a clue what it is like for an animal in the dog shelter and what euthanasia is like at a dog shelter.
No matter what you do or say at this point, I seriously doubt he will EVER take you back. What you did is not only unforgiveable, its atrocious, malicious and vindictive. You got exactly what you deserved!
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Sweetie
2007-12-13 08:57:26 · answer #11 · answered by ♥Šωèé†íé♥ 6 · 19⤊ 0⤋