Opinions Please...?

Question

So I have been hanging with a girl that I like for around 6 months now. Sometimes we spent everyday together for weeks straight. I told her how I felt and she told me she had feelings for me , but there are some things in her life she has to correct before she can commit. I understood that and I gave her a hug and let it be. Recently I found out she has been in contact with her ex boyfriend ,but every time they talk they end up arguing. I came to conclusion that her problems were with her ex and she had to figure them out before she moved on. She always tells me she is confused and I can tell but she never will tell me whats wrong. A friend of hers wrote me in a christmas card that there are many problems between them and she doesn't foresee a future. She told me to be patient and she will come to me with a loving heart. I am as confused as anyone now. What should I do. I have such strong feelings for her and its so hard being patient especially if I am #2 right now. Looking for advice

Answer 1

The problem is that her brain and the rest of her body is ready and willing to let go of her ex, but her heart is NOT.
Until she gets her brain and heart on the same page, this war will continue. There is nothing you can do help her make the final decision. Her heart is in the process of trying to convince her brain that she can get back with her ex. Her heart only remembers the good and warm times she has spent with him in the past. When they are together the arguing starts up because he reminds her why they broke up in the first place. This goes against what her heart feels.
The best advice I can give you is to enjoy the times you spend with her, and don't get in the way. She is the only person who can resolve this situation. The only way she can win the war is to win the battles, one by one everytime they are talking together. There is no need to be confused, the problem in with her, not you. Just wait for her to make her own decision. She might break up with you, she might not.
Just be ready, either way. You don't need a bomb shell to explode in your heart. Prepair for the worst, but pray for the best.
God Bless Both of you.
Always be good to yourself.

Answer 2

Don't be the back up plan.

Let her know that you will be there for her but you won't wait around.

This is the case in many situations..she obviously is not over her ex yet so maybe you should try and connect with another girl. Who knows? Maybe once she sees you with another girl she will realize that she wants to be the girl that you love.

Just take your time. You both need to figure things out.

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Answer 3

Well since you are not together, you are technically a free agent. The key is you don't want to look like you are just standing around waiting for her. Like you said, let her be. Do your own thing, hang out with your friends, keep busy, don't be so eager to grab every phone call. The key is you are not #1 to her so why should she be #1 to you? I understand you like her, but you have to realize that you are a good catch too. Once you realize it, so will she. Now the question is will it be to late for her and you to be together?

Answer 4

Sounds like you'll always be number 2 to her. If she is as much into you as she says, she would have cut him off completely. Her going back to him means either he has her psychologically glued to him, even when they argue or fight. Or, she could just really want the guy to change and she can't stop waiting for him to change when he never will. I'm sorry, but you should let go as soon as possible, because the longer you wait, the more you could get hurt.

Answer 5

there's nothing you can do, just have to wait it out and hope for the best. her friend already told you what to do, you should listen and be patient. if you keep pushing her right now, you will end up losing her permanently. ask yourself do you want that? if you do, then don't come on yahoo or go to anyone for help, keep doing what you're doing. if you don't, respect her answer, wait, good things come to those that wait, patience is a virtue. just don't be hot headed. she already have a lot of problems, stop adding more.

Answer 6

If you're number two right now, you're only coming in second to the situation, certainly not to him. Only you can decide if waiting is worthwhile to you...I'm in a bit of a holding pattern with someone I love, too, so I can relate. And probably like you I have moments where I feel like waiting for her is worth every effort I pour into it, and other darker times when I fear I'm wasting my time. Nothing worth having comes easily, and people tend to cherish the things they really had to fight to achieve. You have to decide if this is who she is to you. Good luck to both of us, and Happy Holidays.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do until she sorts this out. You don't want her to leave you for him since she didn't have the right kind of closure, do you? Your best bet is to be patient and treat her like you would if you were dating, minus the physical aspects (beyond hugging).

Answer 8

i wait a little longer but if u hear or see ANYTHING else w/ her and her x drop her because the worst thing is for her to be cheating on both of u or playing u both at once or possably drop both of u so keep it real but maby if u wait a little longer shell come around with a loving heart. i hope it goes well~

Answer 9

never let anyone drag u into their drama. point blank. shes right, she has a lot goin on, and i'm glad she was honest with u. but until she completely lets him go, u need to leave her alone. shes not over him and u dont want to be a rebound. ur good enuf to be a #1. and don't dwell on her cuz u may be overlookin someone who can be good for u.

Answer 10

Don't push her. It will only push her in the other guy's direction. Just be there for her always and comfort her and help her as a friend. When she's had enough of the other guy, you'll be the first one sought out.