How important little things are......?

Question

My live in boyfriend of a year has stopped caring about the little things. Like he forgets to call me after I called him hours ago. He always asks me to do little things for him, like starting the laundry, walking his dog, picking up dinner. But he always seems to not think of me when I need something. Sometimes, I would be out and I would see something that he would like (inexpensive) and buy just because I like to see the smile on his face. Now he only thinks about hanging out with his friends and football and poker get togethers. Guys, what should I do? I am crying as I type this........ :(

Answer 1

You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. You can't call a person a jerk if no one ever told them there were being one. Sound like it's time that you remind your boyfriend that you appreciate the little things that he does. When my boyfriend does something nice for me I always tell him how much I love and appreciate what he's done. I go on about so much he does it again. And now he does things out of the blue. I used to have a problem with him not calling me to let me know if he's going to be coming home late. I fussed at him all the time about it, and finally I stopped fussing and asked him why he doesn't call. He told me he doesn't like checking in. He told me he never had too, and he didn't want to start now. I just listened to him, and I didn't get upset. I calmly told him why I wanted him to call when he was going to be late, so I wouldn't worry. I told him when he is late I start thinking all kind of crazy things. I told him it scares me because I think about him laying out there on the side of the road hurt. I told him when he calls it put all of my fears to rest. He now calls. Ask your boyfriend why he likes to spend so much time with his friends. And just listen to him. Ask him if maybe you guys can do some of these things together. Or suggest having the boys over to watch the game at your house. Order some pizza and hot wings and just sit back and chill out with him and his friends! You start including yourself. Soon his friends will be more comfortable with you and you can get to know them better. My boyfriend and I have some separate and similar friends. We all go out sometimes, but sometimes he likes to hang out with just the boys. On those days I hang with my friends. We have our special date night which is Friday or Saturday. We reserve one day out of the week to spend alone. We make it very romantic. We sometimes just stay in and watch movies. I understand that my man needs to spend time with his friends so I let him. It's not a problem, but he's not with them everyday. He is mostly with me. Make the most of the time that you spend with him. Try not to fight. And if you have to discuss somethings learn to fight fair. But you need to talk to him asap and let him know you aren't happy. And let him know you want to work to improve your relationship because you love him. He'll listen. Talk to him after sex, that's when he'll be most receptive.

Answer 2

Make a plan and get out of that situation. You could talk to him about it. He sounds like he has gotten a little to comfortable. Some guys are just self centered and inconsiderate. If you talk to him, maybe you could convince him that change is necessary, but the odds of him changing aren't very good. If he won't change, don't waste your life being unhappy. Make a plan and head toward a better life. Good luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like me and my man. We all have different personalities some people aren't bothered by the little things. I am!!!! With mine I tried to stop doing thoes small things just to see a smile. It didn't work he didn't even notice. Things between us got real messy because of the little things. Playing games and taking things away don't work not only because they don't notice, but you don't have the joy thoes small things make us happy. Best Idea sit down with him, drink a beer and talk. Tell him how much you love him and mention things he does to make you happy but also Tell him how you feel and what he is and isn't doing to make you cry. Stay calm and don't jump into the conversation in attack mode. Two results: He gets angry and defensive or he says he will TRY. People don't change but they can try to improve. Oh Yeah expect him to point out your shortcommings don't get mad just TRY to improve yourself.

Answer 4

Both are very important. The little things show that a mutual respect still exists between two people and the big things of course are important because they make up the bulk of the relationship.

Answer 5

Don't be sad I'm doing the same thing with my gf. He just wants to do something with out you because he's cared about you so much before that now he wants to see his friends. So what you should do is see your friends more too. And then if it turns into a fight after you make up you'll be in even more love than before.

Answer 6

Don't cry...get even. Stop yourself from doing all the "little things" you do to let him get a taste of his own medicine. If he notices & says something to you about it, call him out on his own misgivings. This way it opens up the door for you two to have a conversation on how you're feeling. Guys are wired differently than we are & he may not be picking up on how you're feeling...until he experiences those feelings himself. That conversation will kinda point you in the direction you should go. Good luck & I hope it works out for you. If not, don't worry...there's plenty more out there where he came from!

Answer 7

Crying is for girls! I'm only kidding...I've cried over my girlfriend!
It seems he's lost touch with the things that make your relationship so intimate -- sounds lame, because that's what I love most about relationships. I happen to have an obsession with McDonald's coke, I know, sounds crazy...I turned my girlfriend onto them, and when she occasionally shows up at my house with one, I'm pumped. I like to bring her her favorite ice cream or candy and flowers on a bad day. I love her reaction as much as she loves the surprise. If he doesn't have the intimacy anymore, YOU CAN TRY TO REKINDLE! Don't think it's over. Try researching ways to 'get it back' online and see if it's possible. Definitely talk about it & good luck!
Intimacy is KEY!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

copy / paste what you wrote and hand it to him!

Let him know, men can't read our minds, although, I'm guilty too of waiting for him to read mine! hahaha!

Sometimes (well a lot of times) you have to 'lead the horse by the reins' --

He doesn't sound like a bad guy, so give him a chance and train him a little bit. Don't cry, it's the Holidays, hopefully he'll get it the first time around ;-)

Answer 9

Does he know how you feel? Perhaps he has just needs to be reminded. If you let him know how you feel and nothing changes stop doing those nice little things. He is taking you for granted. You need to shake things up a bit. If there is still no responce start looking for a new place or send him packing.

Answer 10

awww honey.. =(
What a jerk. I know that sounds mean. I suppose when a couple has been together for a year, the romance tends to decrease due to him feeling comfortable around you, but that's no reason to make you his desperate house wife. Walking his dog?! C'mon! Next ime, ask him to walk with you..or ask him to help with the laundry, ask him to go to dinner with you. Or at least talk to him and let him know that you miss those little things. You deserve better then what you are having to deal with. He may be totally ignorant LIke you said.."guys..." so it may be up to you to let him know.