Well I've been ready for a quite some time to have sex with my boyfriend of 2 months, but the first month in he told me he had HPV. I still wanted to be with him because for one month our relationship wasnt sexual and I still cared for him alot. But now he keeps asking when I'm going to be "Ready" and said he's in no rush..the thing is..I took the gardasil shot, and I'm actually ready and I know all the risks blah blah.. I just want to wait til He loves me, and I love him so that I wont regret having sex with him if I ever do get the virus.
How do I tell him that ?
2007-12-13 07:58:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You tell him you'll let him know when the time is right...and that's not right this minute. The next time he brings it up, just tell him that you thought he said "there's no rush" and if that's the case then WHY does he keep bringing it up. It sure seems like there's some overt pressure there, if you ask me (and frankly you are).
So I would tell him the next time he says anything to just back off and you'll let him know when you're ready...and only YOU need to know that you'll be ready when you feel an emotional connection -- even if that connection is only perpetuated by the L-word (which I would not share with him ... guys will say ANYTHING to get sex!!).
2007-12-13 08:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
goodness. even if he says he loves you does that mean he really does ...will he just say it because you havent gave it up yet..dont tell him your plan* My bf didnt say i love you until 6month..we werent having sex either...but is not like we jumped in the sack then...sex should be when your both ready...for you there is even more risk involved i would make sure you both are ready. no offense but since there is hpv. wait a year..nowadays that is unheard of i know but it wont kill ya. besides hopefully by a year youll have a better idea of when... just tell your bf that you take sex seriuosly and dont want to jump into anything..
hey candylic.. you know 2 months isnt unusual at all more like 2 weeks or 2 days... i think the longer you wait the more you get to know him. the better your relationship will be. my and my hubby are approaching 7 yrs 5 dating 2 marriage.. we waited a while to have sex and built a friendship enjoyed each others company and the sex is still good. we dont regret it..ppl jump into sex too soon... get to know him and it could be a life changing decision for you... if it doesnt work out in a month and you get hpv then you will have to tell every bf or possible sex partner that you are pos. for hpv and most of them would go running for the hills not everyone is as understanding as you are....good luck in your decisionl.
2007-12-13 16:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by nikkylyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a difference between him "loving you" and him telling you "he loves you."
You can't tell him you're waiting for the words, because it ruins the spirit behind things, and you risk him telling you he loves you simply to get you in the sack.
But what you can do is express your feelings towards him, and to tell him that physical intimacy is something that you want along with a mutual growing love. Also, let him know clearly that you appreciate overt signs that he cares about you.
Good luck.
2007-12-13 16:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by The_Spaceman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was honest with you which is very respectful. And you have been very sensible by having the shot. You must be honest with him by telling him 1) you are not ready and 2) if he keeps asking you whether you are ready it is gonna make you uneasy.
Even if you are ready, however much in love you are please be protected. Even if this guy didn't have the virus I would be telling you the same thing.
Good luck.
2007-12-13 16:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by loudpurplehair 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ahh, well, if you tell him you need to hear "I love you" first, then I can almost guarantee he's going to say it, but I can't guarantee he'll mean it.
The best thing is to tell him that you want to take things slow (2 months is not that long) and get to know him a little better.
Or if you think that you know him well enough and think that he can handle the brutal truth, then tell him your fears..."I'm worried that if I have sex with you before I have loving feelings for you and I catch the virus from you that I will resent you."
2007-12-13 16:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he keeps asking you when you will be ready, and then says he is in no rush??
what is he doing to make sure you are protected?
Make sure you use condoms, absolutely not without them.
Yeah, make sure you do not tell him that you are waiting until he loves you.....or says it...he will be saying it like 10 seconds later!!!!!!!
You hold out girl..and ask him how he is going to feel if you get infected, and so forth. Tell him your health is pretty important to you......THEN IS HE SAYS OH MY GOD HONEY I'd never do anything to hurt you...I love you...then you know it might be a bit more genuine....!!!
2007-12-13 16:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure you wait longer than a month. Trust me that you think you love him now but will you love him if he leaves you and you have the virus? You will have this for the rest of your life and may have to go it alone. I would hold out as long as you are not sure of his feelings and then wait a little longer.
2007-12-13 16:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by calendargirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him you're holding until he says the "L" word -- he can say it all day long, but that doesn't necessarily mean he loves you!
Continue the relationship without sex. Get to really know HIM, and be genuinely and delightfully surprised when he does tell you that he loves you for the first time.
2007-12-13 16:03:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't do it until you're ready. you will regret it. just tell him that you're not ready and that you're not willing to do anything until you're for sure that you guys definitely love each other and it's not just a physical attraction. tell him you can't afford all the risks because there definitely are a lot of risks involved. i told a guy that i didn't want to do it after he asked me to and everything was okay because he said he didn't want to pressure me into doing anything and that it was up to me.
2007-12-13 16:06:37 · answer #9 · answered by TOOgoodFORu1392 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are willing to get HPV from him, you better be 100% sure that you love him and want to be with him forever and his feelings are the same for you. As much as you love him and want to be with him, you could be making a life changing decision......
2007-12-13 16:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by laura993377 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋