Should I leave this up to God?

Question

I'm an old-fashioned woman once it comes to love. Not as naive as i used to be - i got my heart broken over puppy love in high school and i've learned to become realistic. When i got to college, i met this person who ended up being one of my close friends - probably the closest i've been to anyone for a long time. I never thought i would fall for him nor would he fall for me. We had a good relationship - nothing i've ever experienced. I was so comfortable with him - we could talk openly and trust each other about anything and everything (rare nowadays) and we could also laugh and understand each other. For a friendship, we were very affectionate - taking care of each other if one was heartbroken or not in a good place. Looking back, i'm surprised we kept inside the boundries as friends. He was always respectful and a gentleman to me - this was truly a special relationship no one can understand except for the two of us. Close for about three yrs...

Early this yr, we fell for each other year very deeply (hes always had feelings and i never caught on). We were "together" for a little (cuddles, give him first kiss) - i KNEW it would be potentially a good relationship. It was always my ideal relationship to end up w. a best friend. I could see myself being with him in the future for a long time but not at the moment. I had that "gut feeling" that kept telling me, "yes, be with him but wait. not now in your life." Very strong feeling and i agreed. I'm at the pt in my life where i want to start a foundation and finish my studies first. He understood completely and it was hard for both of us. For the next couple months after that, we tried being friends but i think it was harder for him than me. I told him back then that i would get over the situation of us not being together someday but i would never get over him. It's almost been a year and who knew i spoke the truth back then. I've met and hung out w. other guys but NOTHING compares to him. I respect him as a person and it's hard to shake him off. After the past few months, i've learned to not force feelings - to not force getting over him and not getting over him. It is what it is and let your feelings be. It's been months and i STILL feel the same way. I know for a fact the only way i'll get over him is if God allows me to meet my future husband. Other than that, i don't think i'll ever get over him.

I KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED "FREE WILL" BUT I'VE LEARNED NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU DON'T HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL AND GOD TAKES CARE OF THE REST

IS IT SELFISH TO PRAY THIS ONE OUT AND LEAVE IT ALL UP TO GOD?

Answer 1

I think you need to realize that you can make college your first priority but that doesn't mean it has to be your only priority.

Answer 2

I feel God works on all our problems.. Everyone has an intended in thier future. Some of us stumble in several relationships and marriages that don't work out and we end up with a rediculous divorce rate. When ever I can't make a solid decision, not sure if my thoughts are right or crazy, have that little twitch that says I am making a mistake, I put it in his hands and wait for the answer. It comes, maybe not the way you might expect but if you listen to your small voice the answer will be there.

Answer 3

Sweet someone found true love! God aside, the fact is people rotate around each other, its a fact, the deeper the bond, think the stronger the pull of gravity. So its unavoidable that you well eventually pick up were you left of. I don't put to much to god controlling us like puppets, but I believe he left a system, you can see it and thats basically how it works. The hope for the future thou is selfish, weather theres a good chance about ot or not, the point is that hope can be both a two-edge sword, because the future is what you want, god gives what you NEED and thats beyond me or you to guess. But I gaureete you the relaitonship well always pick off were it left off the next time you see each other, what comes out of that, no one can no. Personally I don't think god would want to, to boring, funnier to watch the people make their choices.... I understand what your saying, but the important thing to expect is him to be him, not your future mate, I hope you understand what I mean by that...... doesn't stop him from being that future mate, but its also selfish of us to think that we get to keep our heart for only one person, the hearts as big as we let it, sex out of the equation, but thats more a pride thing anyways.....

Answer 4

Wow, you seriously need to get over yourself. Could you make this any more complicated or melodramatic? I don't think so. There's no big imaginary man in the sky who's trying to connect you to your soulmate. If there's actually a god I'm sure he's more concerned with things like, I don't know, the middle east, or creating new planets. And anyway, you're probably 20 and it sounds like you've already got more emotional baggage than the average 45-year-old. If brightboy has any sense, he'll bail on your 'relationship' and find an adorable buddhist asian girl who thinks he's amazing and who'd rather go bowling and play video games than sit in church. LIFE is a BEST!

Answer 5

First..you're way too verbose...I can barely make out what you're asking about. Second to answer you...It sounds to me like you're a mature young woman with a good attitude toward school/education first and boys 2nd. I submit that you can have both without too much impact assuming you don't allow that impact. It's not okay to pine over someone particularly if the feeling was mutual...Either confront the feelings head on or just FORGET him and find someone new. Happy Holidays and Good Luck!

Answer 6

I think you should get busy with other things. Here are a few ideas:

1. Go to your local library and fill out a volunteer form to volunteer their.

2. Sign up to do book club if they have one( mine does)

3. Get involved with arts and crafts

4. Journal

5. Do household chores

6. Visit friends, (think of gettin' back on the saddle again!)

7. Read news articles on the Internet

8. or volunteer somewhere in your community where you feel productive.

9. and... yes, leave it up to God.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Um, what? I'm really, really confused by this whole thing. Are you still friends with this man? Because you really shouldn't be until you're over your feelings for him. I understand, based on what you said, that he's a close friend of yours, but if you continue to keep him in your life with this break-up being so fresh, of course you're not going to get over him. Without any space from the situation you're never going to start healing from it. A close male friend of mine went through the same thing this summer - madly in love with a woman that he still saw an awful lot because they'd agreed to remain "friends" - and it tore him apart because she didn't return his feelings. It wasn't until he started distancing himself from her that he was really able to start enjoying himself and the company of other women.

)O(

Answer 8

god knows the decisions you will make before you make them, and he plans your future and purpose taking into account the mistakes, missed calls, deviations or lost opportunities you make. You followed what you thought was right which is what god looks for in his followers. If you trust god and put this whole thing in your hands he will lead you to the right person, whoever it is. Don't look back, only god is big enough to plan your future before it's happened so trust in him. how can it be selfish to pray then leave it to god? that's exaclty the way he wants us to deal with issues like this. XX

Answer 9

It is not selfish to pray for such things. God sees the love you two have and will surely bring you two together one day.

Answer 10

don't be so complicated girl, he is human too you know go get him and just talk, theres so much years to come in your life who knows maybe when someday you guys will bump into eachother, but isn;'t it best just to visit him and say hi how you been? =]