I am catholic and i need your help with my relationship.?

Question

Me and my girlfriend are both roman catholic but i do not agree with evey thing in the church. Main reason being is that i lost my faith in the chuch when i saw not not very nice things happen to the preist. I left the catholic church becasue of this. but not that i have found the girl of my dreams i have decided to go back to the chuch for the sake of all of us. We go every sunday now. But i still am not confirmed because the stuff happend right before i was to be confirmed in a year to 6 months. Every thing is pretty good in my relationship exectp when ever we start talking about church or religion she gets "scared" because i dont belive every thing that the chuch has to say. One being Confession to a preist, i beleave that if you are really truly sorry god can for give you if you pray and do good things to make it up. I dont think that you have to go to the preist. The other thing is abbortion when the mother will die before the baby is born because of the baby.

I beleave that when the baby will not survive and the mother will not the baby should be aborted to save the babys life, the catholic church does not feel that at any time should a baby be aborted even if the mother will die. This is the ONLY time abortion should be done. I dont want to lose my girl over this but she is scared that she will lose me becasue we will never be on the same page on every thing in the church. any ideas what i should do? I plan on getting confiremed 2 easters from now because she wants me to be confiremed befor we get married. Thanks Nick

Answer 1

The Catholic church claims to be built upon Peter, a man, but what does the Word of God say? 1st Corinthians 3:11, "For other foundation can no man lay that that is laid, WHICH IS JESUS CHRIST". They are built upon dead men's bones, just as Christ described. 1 Cor 10:2-4, "And were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; and did all eat the same spiritual meat; and did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual ROCK that followed the: AND THAT ROCK WAS CHRIST".

They exalt Mary, but what does the Word of God say? Luke 11:27-28, "...a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. BUT HE SAID, Yea, RATHER, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it".

They ask a priest for forgiveness, but what does the word of God say? 1st John 2:1, "...if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous". 1st Timothy 2:5, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men,the man Christ Jesus". Luke 12:3, Jesus said, "...that which ye have spoken IN THE EAR IN CLOSETS shall be proclaimed upon the house tops"; sins spoken in the ear of a priest in a confessional closet.

They call their priests father, but what does the word of God say? Matthew 23:9, Jesus said, "And call NO MAN father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven". To call any man holy father is a sin against God.

They say that Jesus and the theif didn't go to heaven,that paradise is purgatory, but what does the word of God say?
2nd Corinthians 12:1-5, Paul tells of his after-death experience,and he repeats, "whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth", and how he was "caught up to the third heaven" and then he repeats, "How that he was caught up into PARADISE, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter". Paul says paradise is heaven, and I must agree with the word of God.

Peter is #4074 in Strong's Greek Dictionary and means a PIECE of rock. Peter is of Christ, the Rock. Deuteronomy32:31, "For their rock is not as our Rock, even our enemies themselves being judges"; this verse contained within the song of Moses, which is the song referred to in Revelation 15:2-3, which those who "had gotten the victory over the beast, and over his image, and over his mark, and over the number of his name" sing. Their rock, Peter, is not as our Rock, Christ Jesus, and they themselves say it isn't the same rock.

Answer 2

Hi, Nick.

I can understand that you were discouraged and that's why you left the Catholic Church and I totally commend you for wanting to be in complete unity with the "girl of your dreams." That's very wise.

Since your education in the Catholic faith was cut short when you quit going, please let me inform you of a few things.

Confession -- God does the actual forgiving in the confessional; the priest just serves as His voice and His ears so that your experience is a helpful one. Priests are specially trained to sort of let it go in one ear and out remember -- they admit that they couldn't possibly tell you who confessed what. That's not why they are there. But it is profoundly healing to speak your sins aloud -- to God -- and to hear a real voice tell you that you are absolved by the blood of the Lamb and then to offer suggestions as to how you can avoid the same sins in the future. BTW, you don't state your opinion of the worthiness of Scripture, but it says in the Bible that we are supposed to confess our sins to other people (James 5:16), not just God.

Yes, of course if you are truly sorry, God can forgive you! But you deny yourself a very good experience if you don't observe the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Regarding the life of a mother who is pregnant -- there are only a handful of medical conditions where the mother will die if pregnancy continues, and most of those can be handled with a C-section that results in a living baby as well as a living mother. The only one that cannot possibly end that way is a tubal pregnancy. If the baby is implanted in a tube, the mother will surely die when the tube ruptures, but the thing of it is, the baby can't live in the tube. So the baby is already doomed, and the Catholic Church has absolutely NO PROBLEM with the tubal pregnancy being removed. Usually, the baby is already dead, anyway. So you are actually wrong by saying the Church thinks the mother always has to die. That's just not true. So do you think you could be reconciled to the Catholic Church's position on this?

Now then, I imagine there are some other issues. What I think you should do is get the book, "What Catholics Really Believe" and read it together with your girlfriend. See how much you really DO agree with, and then maybe you won't be too scared. When the next round of RCIA classes starts at your parish, get yourselves enrolled (you can & should take it as a couple), and then you both can continue to grow in your faith...and you can be confirmed 2 Easters from now as planned.

Go in peace & may God bless you both.

Answer 3

A couple of things, first you need to learn more about what confession is.
Jesus instituted the sacrament of reconciliation (confession) for our benefit; it is humbling to tell a man that you have sinned, and healing to hear the words of absolution. But it is not a man you are confessing to and giving you absolution, but to God, the priest is God’s instrument. http://www.americancatholic.org/Messenger/Feb2001/Wiseman.asp#F3

The situation you describe, (that the mother must abort or die) never actually happens, it is fallacy pushed to open the door to permitting abortions. Death is such situations is always the result of inadequate medical/maternity care. To add to what sparki777 wrote.
I read the forward of a medical textbook years ago, the textbook was before USA’s Roe vs. Wade. It was written by the doctor in charge one of the largest hospital in the USA. More then 60 thousand births a year. He mentioned “therapeutic abortions”, even though abortions were illegal, “therapeutic abortions” were considered part of medical care when the mother was expected to die if she was to carry her child to term and give birth. He made it policy that all such situations no abortion was done and instead the mother was well cared for and gave birth. How many might have been expected to die? Tens, hundreds? (The abortion lobby would have you believe that.) The fact is, not a single one of these mothers died, not one.

Answer 4

actually Nick, i reccall reading about the Rcc supporting a family who had 6 children and just found out about the seventh. due to the fact the mother would loose her life if the pregnancy continue, the church did support the procedure. the other 6 kids would have lost their mother and the unborn child had only a 30 or 40% life expectency.

i don't know why you fear confessing to a priest. please email me if you'd like to talk a little more discreetly. i won't lie, there were times when i'd go to another church for confession but.... it's not easy to admit your falings out loud - some times this is the person's inner fear. you should really find a pastor/priest or deacon that can help!!

Answer 5

You have quite a dilema there. It's because your conscience is being torn. On the one hand, you want to reconcile your feelings and beliefs that conflict with the Church, AND you want to please your girlfriend.

You do realize that your FIRST obligation ought to be to God, right? Not to the Church, and not to your girlfriend. Then you won't have to feel torn if you are still working your way through these feelings of questioning your beliefs.

You said that your girlfriend wants you to be confirmed in order for you to get married? Which is understandable from a Christian point of view, for a husband and wife to see eye to eye on spiritual matters, because obviously any conflicts within the marriage would not be good for you or for any future children.

Would your girlfriend be willing to marry you if you decide for yourself that you do not wish to be confirmed? You don't want to make yourself out to be a hypocrite just for the sake of marrying someone. Yes, you can go through the motions and pretend that you agree with the church and your girlfriend, but what will you, as a young man, who is also trying to please God, be left with? An unsettled conscience. That's not fair to you, your girlfriend, or most importantly, God.

Answer 6

The Orthodox church seems 'confused' at times ... like switching back and forth between the Alexandrian and Jerusalem cannons ... As for THEIR relationship to the Virgin Mary ... Greek iconography of the Virgin and saints came down to us from THEM! Go figure! FOr us Catholics, it's almost like a whole 'package', if you will. We have a deep respect for the Virgin Mary, the holy martyrs and saints, because, simply put, we have a deep respect for OBEDIENCE, in all it's manifestations! Our standard for 'good behavior' is the person who does what he/she understands to be God's will, and Jesus Christ so identified his 'relatives' that way: he who does the will of the Father! We understand the Virgin Mary stands out this way, because she did the Will of the Father, in His plan for salvation! The saints and martyrs pretty much did just that: they understood the Will of the Father to mean suffering hardships to spread the faith, keep the faith, possibly to the point of death. We might ask the question: was there no other way? WHether there is or isn't, the point is clear: those people did what they understood the Father wanted them to do. For that, they deserve respect as exemplary Christians, and for Catholics, we believe they are alive in heaven, and we could ask for their help in praying for our needs here on earth, just as we ask friends and church-members to pray for us.

Answer 7

I'm a catholic and I actually agree with you on things.

The main point is you love, have faith and pray.....what more can anyone in the catholic or any faith ask of you.

As far as the preists dint forget there human and what they did was wrong, and yes they should be punished just as any other sex offender.

Answer 8

You dont have to confess your sins to someone with authority unless it's a serious sin like murder, abuse or sexual relations outside of marriage. something along those lines. other sins just need to be between you and god and sometimes those that you have offended or hurt. your right. and you also have to consider if abortion is ok for those who have been raped. abortion is ok for mothers who will otherwise die due to childbirth. The church is supposed to teach the same thing that christ believes. i don't see that in the catholic church. what you have said is the same thing that christ teaches and you obviously learned those teachings from the holy ghost.

My opinion, your closer to god then the priests are

Answer 9

I don't know that every practicing Catholic follows 100% what the church says...I think some of it comes from your heart and who God is to you. For one thing, I am pretty sure most Catholics don't go to confession...I haven't been in years...I am with you that I say it to God. And abortion when the mother would die..I agree with you there too...like a woman should die and leave her husband and maybe other children motherless, that doesn't seem right. But, the Catholic church is like home to me...when I am going thru bad times, its such a comfort to me...and I know that the God I believe in, is open enough to forgive me if I am wrong about things.

Answer 10

How many times you go to confession is your own business, no body keeps track. It is not dictated to you.

Your future girlfriend/wife will never be on the same page with anyone on every issue involving religion. It is impossible.

Unless, you or your girlfriend plan on having an abortion in the near future, I don't understand the dilemma. Don't talk about it, it doesn't affect your lives personally.

Answer 11

I agree with you about the catholics. It is the biggest false religion in the world (and the most powerful, but remember Satan has been given power). The Pope is the False Prophet of Revelation.

You are correct to pray to Jesus....not Mary or the priest. As for the abortion thing.......I can see your point about the mother being at risk. I guess you would have to pray about that one because each situation is different.