atheist's should I tel my child to wait until marriage to have intercourse ?Why or why not?What will you?

Question

teach your child?

And the reason I ask this question of Athiests ,is because I believe you all really know how to think for your selves.All the people I know believe in religion or god .I am the only one I know who is not like that .But I am also not sure of what TO BELIEVE,.But I do think Athiests use more of their brain then the rest of us.

Answer 1

If your child is male, I would suggest that the male pair-bonding instinct is triggered by having sex. Repeated sport-sex diminishes a man's ability to form a meaningful long-term emotional bond with his eventual spouse. Limiting the number of partners a young man has sex with greatly increases the strength of the pair-bonds he will be able to form. Like it or not, the truth is men pretty much love the one they're with. If a wife fails to keep her hubby sexually satisfied, he will almost certainly find someone who will.

If your child is female, I would explain how women have only a few precious eggs to guard -- compared to men, who have an unlimited amount of sperm to squander. Since women carry a fetus within their bodies and provide nourishment and love to their infants, having a child represents a tremendous investment in time, energy , and health. Women generally prefer to love their partner before they consent to have sex. This means that women must evaluate the suitability of potential mates, to assess their long-term suitability as a spouse. Sport-sex diminishes a woman's instinct to carefully evaluate her partners before she consents to have sex with them and this increases the probability she will become pregnant by an unsuitable male.

As for myself, I have no children to teach. Schizophrenia, epilepsy, and an explosive violent temperment run in my family and I elected to make sure I can never father a child, many decades ago. It's noteworthy that a majority of the woman I've slept with (long before my wife) eventually accused me of getting them pregnant. The fact that I shoot blanks has saved me from three potentially unhappy marriages and countless thousands of dollars in undeserved child-support payments.

My final advice to children of either sex is simply to be very choosey and never ever sleep with someone they wouldn't care to actually marry. If they have the slightest doubt, don't.

Answer 2

Some people who suppose more emotional than sensational. Emotional will not care of reason but trust and believe of people. I know you all good to have a religious and I will take same religious because I trust and believe you. Sensational will more clear head and never acept exception even his relatives committed his fault, will be blamed and punished or revenge.
It doesn't mean which is better but more depanding on karmas.
Once a so-called stupid gay pay a lotories number 1-6 and he win it. Is it number 1-6 a easier numbers to win? I can say no.
Intercourse is a outcome necessaries for mostly of the adult human. You cannot say it is sin or anything. If your positive energy are full in your body, you cannot expell it, you soon will be crazy. If you are the sick people, intercourse for you is a heavy duty job. Teach your child is necessary when they are grown up.
Religious are telling not to do it but it is not the good way to leading people who will be more curiosity to try. Until the problem come up bigger.
Some of the religious will tell you to do more execite to expell the energy. It is a good way to go but not the right way to go.
We should tell the child what it will be and what we are doing. What will be the result and we can use these energy to become an enlightenment power.(weak people cannot be enlightenmented.) If want to understand what is enlightenment or nirvana, budhaist sutras will tell.

Answer 3

I'm telling my kids to wait until they find a partner they are willing to commit to. Marriage is one way to do that. Babies are another. My main goal with my kids is to communicate that no form of birth control is perfect, so who ever they are having intercourse with...they had better be willing to have a lifelong relationship with them, because marriage or not, they may be involved in a parental arrangement.

I also point out that knowing a person extremely well is a good reason to wait. Today, sex, especially unprotected sex, can kill. That's just a fact. Things like herpes are life long issues you have to share with whoever your partner ends up being. Avoiding that is better. Things like HIV Aids kill. So, knowing people is extremely important...trust...commitment to each other. For me, it goes beyond old fashioned values. It's a health issue, both physically and emotionally.

I have to admit that most Christian people that I have known over the years didn't wait until they were married. Many have regretted that, but mostly they regret having been a little free with their self respect. Of course guys have this macho view many times, especially when they are young, and the more conquests they make, the more important they feel. Don't know what drives some girls, other than the old adage "girls just wanna have fun".

I think my kids understand. My daughter certainly does. My boy is 16, and full of raging hormones. But, he understands, I think, the risk of letting those hormones run away with him. I hope he does. I told him early on, if you make a child, you support that child until they are an adult. Anyway...hope some of this helps you. Being a parent is tough.

Answer 4

You should not teach your child that; it makes no sense. Teach them to have sex with somebody they love, to consider it thoroughly because virginity is not something they can get back.

Make sure they understand that it's an big thing, that protection (condoms! Nothing else works against STDs) is a MUST and that they can always come to you with anything.

Above all, ensure that they know what they're worth - that nobody should pressure them, that THEY decide the pace they want to go - and that they do not pressure somebody else into it, either.

Sex can be a beautiful way to show your love for another person and that's what they should understand. One-night-stands are (if at all) for an age when they can live with the consequences (unplanned pregnancy from strangers). As long as you support them they should know that you accept them having sex, as long as it's responsible. And if, for some reason a pregnancy should happen, make sure they know they can trust you. And provide them either with condoms (embarassing) or with an adress where they can easily get them for free.

My parents did it like that, and all three of us older kids behaved very well - because we knew the risks and the responsibilities, because our parents taught us.

Answer 5

I am a Buddhist. That is as close to an atheist a person can be, but still believe in spiritualism. It takes a lot of thinking for yourself to be a Buddhist.

This is going to sound a bit silly, but read it though, and you will see my point.

If I had children, I would tell them it is best to wait and exactly why (living in poverty with an unwanted child, never completing college, etc).

As you have observed, most people tell their child that they should abstain until they get married or they will go to Hell. The child can clearly see all the other things that YOU do that are said to result in going to Hell. So, the child reasons that you are going to Hell, and so are all his or her friends. Clearly such a way of thinking is hypocritical. If you don't think your child can't see that, you are fooling yourself.

So in the child's' mind, why is it so bad to go to Hell, if everyone he or she knows is going there as well.

I Buddhism we have only one rule on sex, "Don't abuse sex". There is no stated consequence other than telling you that you are going down the wrong path. That is a lot more reasonable than threatening a person with Hell.

Answer 6

I cannot tell you what you should or shouldn't tell your child. That it is up to you really.

What I plan to tell *my* child is that marriage has nothing to do with it. Personally I don't even believe in the institution of marriage because I find it ridiculous to confirm love by a piece of paper. But that's a different story. My child might feel differently about marriage.

I'll tell my kid that exploring sexuality is not a sin or anything bad, and that it's only natural to explore it. However, what matters more is to teach children that with sexuality comes responsibility. That means teaching the children how to protect themselves from diseases, teaching them about birth control, even teaching them about pros and cons of abortion and how traumatic experience it can be and so on.

Teaching kids to respect their bodies and not throwing themselves at everyone, but at those who are special and who deserve it is what matters more in my opinion.

Wish you all the best, you surely have a heavy task.

((((HUGS))))
.

Answer 7

I have 4 sons one the oldest is 14. I have had the 'official' birds and bees talk with the 14 year old and the 10 year old.

I was very pragmatic and scientific about it, talking about the physical act and what happens as a result.

I didn't throw abstinence down their throats, but stressed the benefits of it.

We talked about relationships, and decision making, and feelings. I made sure that they know that having sex comes with consequences, both physically an emotionally, but didn't paint it as evil or sinful.

I am trying to bring up young men who respect the people around them and the women they date, if I can achieve that, and they choose to have pre-marital sex, then I am assured they will be safe about it, and respectful to their partners.

That puts my kids WAY ahead of me when I was a teen having sex in the back of church. I was brought up in a religious setting, that taught that premarital sex was not an option. As a result, when the time came, I couldn't think clearly about my situation, and ended up going for it, without protection.

Because I was taught that sex was dirty and a sin, I then felt guilty and took that guilt out on my girlfriend at the time. I felt like she was a slut that tempted me into sin and risked my eternal life. It was bad and a very tough thing for a sixteen year old to deal with.

Religious people, mostly know this, but ignore it because their faith feels right to them.

Answer 8

I would say teach them the real life consequences of sex in general.

The abstract removed from reality religious notions of punishment after you die is never going to convince any kid to not have sex. There are tough real world consequences to having sex that will work much better.

Know a relative with a young child that your child can babysit for a few days preferably through a weekend? For free of course just like a real parent...

Answer 9

Masturbation itself is not a sin even little babies masturbate. It is the lustful thoughts in a persons mind that is a sin. When a person masturbates are they thinking about the neighbors wife? It is not the actual act it is the thoughts. The act of masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible, but lust is. The second part about a fantasy is a good point. That would be between God and the person I guess on if it is a sin or not. It then would also put into mind does the fantasy bride really represent a real person. Who knows I have no answer for you on that one certainly may not be a sin.

Answer 10

Careful here. Recent evidence shows that abstinence programs taught in the absence of quality sexual education fail miserably. When parents focus to much on trying to get their kids not to have sex, they often forget to ask themselves am I doing enough to make sure that if my kid does have sex, is he/she going to use protection? Its a fine line to walk, but you should in the very least make sure that your children are educated about the dangers of STDs and teenage pregnancy. There is no need to be preachy, no need to mention the word "sin". Just a careful review of the fact, ie. condoms, birth control etc. Also let your child know your opinion on the matter. Think back to when you were their age....what did you think about sex? Were you having sex? Why? If you can think from the perspective of a horny teenager, you will understand why its important that teens should be educated about safe sex.