My fellow Muslims, please tell me what would be the right thing do to according to Islam. What should one do if they have a partner but they think they may be feeling something for another person?
NO STUPID COMMENTS PLEASE.
2007-12-13 06:52:01 · 16 answers · asked by ¸.•*´`*•.¸ ℓανєη∂єr ¸.•*´`*•.¸ 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Ramadan
In Islam you should stay away from things which may cause conflict. Such as if you feel your being attracted to someone other then your husband or wife you should stay away from that person. Also, I have read many scholars say that if someone finds themselves excited by someone else to go home and have sex(with the husband or wife) to get it out of their head. Repent and fast.
If you have prayed, repented and fasted and these feelings are still there you should seek counsel with your Imam and Partner. Divorce is disliked and you should do everything in your power to save the relationship, this does not mean being unhappy. If you have tried everything and are still unhappy then you should be fair to the partner and ask for divorce. Allah(swt) forgive me if I have said anything wrong. Inshallah the person you are speaking about will be able to handle this and do what is right.
2007-12-13 06:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by je 6 · 20⤊ 3⤋
Jenn´s answer is good. I just wanted to add that one may also be able to find a rational reason for such feelings to come up, based on circumstances....
ex. a husband is at work for long hours, the wife is overburdened at home with kids & everything, getting little/no practical support from hubby. Perhaps hubby is also having a hard time with his business, and isn´t in the best of moods at home either. And when he is there she isn´t at all cheerful, so he avoids it a bit more.....
Actually the two people might really love each other, and are both good Muslims, trying their best. But this is an especially hard time for the wife and she isn´t getting anything she needs...... she realizes that her thoughts turn to another man with whom she may have regular contact, and is polite and seems like a caring person. Not close contact, maybe a doctor or a teacher..... and there might not be ANYTHING close to an intimacy between these people. It just SEEMS to the woman that this is a very decent man, and he is actually giving her more and better attention than her own husband.
So she analyses the situation, realizes the reasons for her at all being prone to such thoughts, and simply admits that this man is a nice person. She can stop feeling guilty, because she is now aware that she has certain specific needs that aren´t being met. She MUST make sure that she doesn´t follow through on these thoughts, of course, and leave it all in the past, as a resolved issue. Just being aware of the reasons for the feelings can sometimes anull them quickly.
Hope this made some sense!
Jenny
2007-12-13 10:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by jenny 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
as salaam alaykum
I am not sure what the sunnah is in this situation, but if it were me, I would increase my study in tawhid, hijab, and the rights and responsibilities between husbands and wives. If we all understand these issues, it will negate having to deal with this situation from the start.
From what you are saying it is too late for prevention, so I would sugest to study along with what was mentioned before about the effects and punishment of zina of a person in this life and the Hereafter. It is a horrible despicable sin that all Muslims need to avoid at all cost. That is why Allah has prescribed proper hijab (I don't mean just to wear a scarf but to fully keep away from the (non family members) opposite sex for both men and women) and marriage to this ummah.
Insha'Allah your question is hypothetical and if it is not, it is important for you to advise your friend in the most kind way possible to stop this relationship at all costs and repent to Allah as He is the Truly Merciful. Also to every Muslim to study more on tawhid. Tawhid is a virtue that every Muslim of every level of knowledge should study on a regular basis. Tawhid makes acts of worship and avoiding sin easy. Tawhid alleviates the pain of the trials of this dunya because we know the great reward we will attain in the Hereafter if we make our hearts full of tawhid.
Fi amin Allah my dear sister in Islam
2007-12-13 07:53:01 · answer #3 · answered by Salmah 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Jenn gave a really good answer. Though, I've never been married, so I cannot imagine what you are going through. I know that it must be very difficult. Seek refuge with Allah. Pray and read the Quran and Hadith to be reminded of the sin and it's repercussions. Communicate with your husband and don't leave him in the dark. Speak to an imam for more advice about what you should do.
Insha Allah you will get through this.
2007-12-13 13:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by PEACE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Salaam Alaykum, Since you are not married yet you haven't done anything wrong...you are also still young so don't jump into a commitment you can't handle. I mean lets be real you have a boyfriend. I believe in Islam with my whole heart but I haven't met a sheik or mullah on YA yet but they are quick to judge these wannabe Scholars. We know what we are supposed to do and even the most pious of all posters here
cannot judge you lest he take Allah's SWT job. You can pray sister and ask for guidance from Allah SWT and nothing else.
Wasalaam
2007-12-13 10:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dear Lavander.. It is the nature of humans to change and have new feelings every day; but.. Life is about making choices.. Islam gave us the right to make choices...
The messenger of Allah صÙ٠اÙÙ٠عÙÙ٠٠سÙÙ
he said that: "I have no solution for lovers except marriage"... But; like I said.. everything have a price...
Allah granted us the right of divorce, but what will be the consequences? Do you have a children? will the new partner be better or worse?
My Dear Sister; Islam - in the point of marriage - teachs us how to "want what we have and have what we want".. Sometimes the felings that we feel towards another person than our partner is like a cloud in August.. and they fade soon.
If you think that your life might be better with that another person; go ahead; talk to your partner and get the divorce.. and if you believe that your husband might change; go ahead and try that...
Being in your shoes; I would have been more specific before taking the divorce decision.. "Thinking that I might have some feelings" is not enough because I might have thought wrong...
Why don't you try to change your partner to better? try once more.. better to regret for something you did than something you didn't...
2007-12-13 10:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lawrence of Arabia 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
First things first, dont live in dream.
When you like something or someone, be aware that it may not be yours. In Islam ALL belongs to Allah SWT.
Even small things like clothes you saw in the store which you like very much and you think it would fit you nicely.
Say to yourself, is it good for me dunya and achirah if I buy it. And say ya Allah, if you like me having this let me have it, lead me to have it, if not and its going to hurt me in the future, pls give me strength not to have it and be happay by not having it.
So, gf or bf, its even seriously have to be actively "discuss" with Allah SWT.
Pls make a habbit of "talking" with God , better write God a letter every day . Tell Allah SWT what you think what you feel what you like what you dont like.
Allah SWT is our best friend and TRUST that Allah KNOW what's good and bad for you. Surrender yourself unto His Mercy.
2007-12-14 13:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anna S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I loved Jenn's answer. Its matured and sensible.
If you are not married yet, then you better make up your mind fast. so that you don't have any regrets in the future. secondly, its not good to think about someone like that if you are about to get married. you should be honest to your would be life partner as you would too expect him to be honest to you. BUT still if you are confused. you better sit and make up your mind and let your mother,father or anyone in the family you are close to, about your feelings.~! and yes, at the same time, ask Allah for the forgiveness if you have anything wrong which could displease him~!
All the best :)
2007-12-13 07:33:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 1⤋
I also like Jenns answer, but you can always confront him and if you still have doubt you can just simply have someone investigate him or talk with the Imam of your Masjid!
2007-12-13 12:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by FeshFash 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say , "but they think they may be feeling something for another person?"
So they are not sure , only a doubt ,
in this situation , pray regularly , Be honest to them , and don't doubt ,
2007-12-14 01:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋