This has happened to me a few times, random strangers would say something racist and rude and it would be kind of out of the blue, and I wouldn't really expect it and don't know what to say. I would think of something really intelligent to say later, but by then it would already have been too late. I don't want to start a fight, but I also want people to know that I'm not a doormat and I don't appreciate being disrespected to. How can someone defend themself on the spot?
2007-12-13 05:45:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Examples: One time I went to the zoo with my husband, and some woman walked past me and was like, it's a shame you Muslim women have to wear masks. She was with her husband, and I could tell her husband was embarrassed, because he apologetically smiled at me.
Another time, I went to the mall (again with my husband) and some woman was being rude to my husband and said, why do you make your wife cover up (referring to hijab)? It's not like anyone would look at her anyways.
There are a few other incidents, I can't think of at the top of my head.
2007-12-13 05:58:42 · update #1
Defend yourself with maturity and grace.
If the comment is blatant enough, say something calm and direct.
"That sounds disrespectful, sir/ma'm, and I don't appreciate that."
2007-12-13 05:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Unless someone is speaking to you or treating you with rudeness directly, addressing someone Else's rudeness and racism is unnecessary. It's not your fault if someone else is ignorant and rude, and it means nothing at all about you. It is only a reflection of themselves when they say horrible things.
Sometimes, though, if you must say something, a simple, "Well, that was rude!" will suffice. They get the picture, and for many rude people, that will shut them up, because they don't really expect you to respond. Many rude people get away with being rude because everyone else is either afraid to say something or has better manners. Saying, "That was rude." both addresses the problem directly (and lots of rude people are cowards), lets people know you are not a doormat, and also does not lower you to someone Else's level. Trying to argue with their point of view is a pointless excercise, because they obviously already have a difficult time having an open mind or understanding anyone but themselves.
As someone once said, noone can make you feel inferior unless you let them. So, good luck!
2007-12-13 06:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by Gorgeous 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Being Lebanese, I get it the same treatment a lot. I think the best thing to do is either ignore it - which doesn't make you feel very good about yourself. Or say something small and quiet, but that still packs a punch.
I have the same problem you do - I hear something racist, can't think of something to say, then when I do think of something, it's too late.
But I'd say something like, "You look like a smart person, but sound like a racist, and that's never a smart thing to be." That's probably not really great, but I think it puts the point across. If you just say "That's offensive to me" they won't care, I don't think. Because they mean for it to be offensive. I'm sorry this happens to you. Good luck, dear.
2007-12-13 09:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by EmilyJune 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont make a scene. Be firm and polite and say, "I'm sorry, but I find what you said to be very offensive."
Then walk away.
You would be shocked at how many people do not realize what they are saying is racist. There are also groups of people that think that they cannot be racist (because they belong to a minority group) and can say whatever they want about others.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had people look at me and say, "Oh but you dont look like a Jew!" and then not understand how I could be offended by that.
If you respond in anger, you will be pandering to their ignorance. But you must speak up for yourself if only to point out that their comments are not acceptable.
2007-12-13 05:52:39 · answer #4 · answered by sahel578 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You didn't give an example of what was upsetting you, but you should think about why you get upset. No one, but NO ONE can upset you without your permission. If you think that the person making the insult is just ignorant, or that's the way they were raised, it helps. But you don't have to get sucked into that person's little mind. If someone says something derogatory, you can laugh, say something about the comment being from the 1800's, you thought they were more worldly than that, or just simply laugh and tell them that their statement was ridiculous.
If someone tries to bait you - and you take the bait - they win! If you act with class, you win. And above all remember, the words are just words.
2007-12-13 05:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I stick for everyone regardless. I've never experienced racism or someone receiving it though. Except for this German kid who used to get teased at my other school. I stuck up for him (Never told him though) and we became the best of friends, not because the pity, but because he looked pretty cool. People still made fun of him and called him gay, and Nazi, etc... I don't see how he was gay if he started to like me but he had a girlfriend or how he was a Nazi if most Nazis are long gone, only Neo-Nazi's remain, and he was friends with me- I'm Black! Besides my the school where that was happening, they made fun of everybody who was different or wasn't into Hip hop and crap. Even I got made fun of. But lol, trust me I didn't take those idiots seriously.
2016-05-23 09:48:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these were great answers, I was reading them. I can't defend myself well, when people judge u, and they don't even know u, and yell at u in a public place, and u can't defend yourself, it hurts. It's humiliating, even though you know they were wrong about you, and that they are big bully's, who feel bad about themselves, and take it out on strangers. How low??? don't you think? I couldn't even imagine doing that to someone, they are only degrading themselves.Don't go to their level, because you will regret not sticking to your beliefs, of being a mature, kind, nonjudgmental person. I walk very fast away from someone like that, because those crazy people will always OUT CRAZY YOU, yanno
If I can get through it without crying, then I feel like I have done well.
2007-12-13 06:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Learn to be like most civilized people and accept the rights of others to exercise their free speech.Comebacks feed the flame and solve nothing.Further,Some people tend to view any and every comment as racism.Some folks just have a bad sense of humor.Others are crude and the only humor they know is the sarcastic type.There is too much of a persecution complex in our culture these days.
2007-12-13 05:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by Trish 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to walk away. Dont lower yourself to their standards. It wont do any good anyway, to say anything. Just get away from them. They'll have to answer to their maker eventually.*
2007-12-13 12:11:49 · answer #9 · answered by Check this out! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just ignore them honestly, they arent worth the time it would take to think of something to say, plus you just never know with people, some people out there are crazy and are just looking for that one tiny thing to set them off, Be careful, know your better than this, and make sure you dont surround yourself with people who dont deserve it! Good luck!
2007-12-13 05:49:18 · answer #10 · answered by Susan F 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
follow them to their car and just before they get in say in a sycotic Muslim accent, now i have your license plate number, i am going to blow up your home and quickly run away, i bet they will never say anything rude again to anyone, oh yeah fight fire with fire
2007-12-13 06:11:30 · answer #11 · answered by BEE-ATCH 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋