He is a very good friend of mine. His wife and kid are not in town. We meet up for a dinner/lunch/movies sometimes, but meetings have always been outside. I have felt like inviting him for a homemade dinner(nighttime), but since I live by myself, and his wife isn't around - would it still be appropriate?
And no, he is strictly a platonic good friend with no hints of anything fishy whatsoever.
I am just not sure if his wife will be OK with it (I have not gotten a chance to know her very well - just met her once on their wedding day), and if overall, technicall speaking, such a thing is no big deal and I should go ahead.
On 2nd thoughts, maybe I should call him for lunch on a weekend instead of dinner.
2007-12-13 05:08:09 · 26 answers · asked by ? 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thank you so much guys for ur input. Yes, if I were the wife, I'd feel quite uncomfortable. I just wanted to cook a homemade meal for him, my good friend - that is all! Yes, I never got a chance to invite both of them, coz of conflicting schedules, and soon, she left for her mother's place with the baby. I will most definitely invite both once she is in town. I respect the wife very much, but this friendship also means a lot to me. Well, guess I will not invite him alone then. I will discuss this with him.
2007-12-13 05:33:49 · update #1
And on the other hand, I do feel there is something called "trust" that the wife needs to have, don't you think folks?
2007-12-13 05:36:30 · update #2
The wife can trust her husband...but she might not trust you. I know you are just trying to be nice...but its really not appropriate. If you can invite the whole family over sometime, that would be fine.
2007-12-13 07:13:48 · answer #1 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy friend is self destructive is what he is. He doesn't have the first clue about what love is. He is looking for a FIX not a relationship. If he is "engaged" after 2-3 weeks and never having met this girl; well even then, he is very immature in that area. He needs to talk to a professional on how to break that cycle. Now for you. You need to be very careful. This is the way affairs and divorces start. Innocent people get really hurt and really messed up over this kind of thing...and don't even get me started on what it does to kids. I'm sorry hon; but if you love your husband; you will not be flirting with danger. If you think you can fix your friend; you are wrong. He needs to talk to someone who can peg why he keeps acting the same play; it is a cycle that he needs to break. My heart hurts for you. It is nice that you care. Nana
2016-05-23 09:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having him over for dinner while his wife is out of town is asking for trouble because no matter how innocent the intentions are between you two the wife will always feel that there is or was something going on. It could also cause major troubles in his marriage. I would stick to more public, less formal meals like lunch or brunch.
2007-12-13 05:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by PaganPoetess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
only meeting her once! (and most likely lots of attempts but you sound like an adult and things come up)
just because of that i would opt out on the dinner night.. no need to make her think of anything and i would get to know her make it a priority so you can have him over! heck invite the family when they are all in town and get to know her!
I would of said ask his wife but you don't seem that close to her but if she said it was okay then why not!
Have fun!
2007-12-13 05:33:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will definitely find trouble if you have him over to your place, breakfast, lunch or dinner. If not now, you will in the future. If the wife ever finds out, you will lose him, or you will find a whole lot of grief.
Once a couple is married, always treat them as one. Always Invite them both over, to entertain them both. Speak to the wife first and invite them both through her. If she says she will be out of town, then just reschedule another time when they both can come over.
If you don't want to entertain the wife, then you have already revealed you have intentions to disrupt the marriage and divert his attention onto you. Shame on you.
Go find your own friends and dates, because he is already taken
2007-12-13 05:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Peter H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds dorky.. but i would actually ask his wife first. Just so she knows that it's not anything more than friendship.
Plus, i agree that lunch would be better than dinner.
I think it's easy to get jealous when your man spends time with another woman even when there is nothing sexual.
I am not too sure why this is, but if I was the wife. I would feel a lot better knowing that you called to ask.
2007-12-13 05:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally wrong to invite him over to your place for dinner even if he is your friend. He is married now with a completely different life than before. If you want to have him over for dinner then you should wait until his wife is in town and invite both of them over and get to know her also. Invite a male friend of yours over(single one) so maybe the situation is not awkward for everyone.
2007-12-13 05:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by iceprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say better safe than sorry, and make it a day time get together and/or in a public place. Maybe invite the whole family for dinner some other time? Whether or not having him to your place for dinner is okay (I don't personally see anything wrong with it), you don't want to make her uncomfortable and thus make his life unhappy!
2007-12-13 05:13:32 · answer #8 · answered by grt_n_pwrfl_oz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the wife know about the "Platonic Friendship?".
If he hasn't mentioned it to her, then he might have some intentions......maybe desert. Keep it as lunch meetings during the week and when she's in town.
2007-12-13 06:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting in a public place would be better, but even better than that would be dining in a more than just one-on-one situation. Why not invite a third friend or a group along?
2007-12-13 06:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋