I am 28 years old, my birthday is tomorrow and I am newly engaged. This will be my first birthday to celebrate with my fiancé, but my parents want me to spend it with them by going out to dinner – without him. I asked if maybe we could celevrate sometime this weekend like we have done several years in the past (I have rarely spent my actaul birthday with them) but they claim they are too busy and have made plans with a young woman that my dad works with.
They have treated this girl like she is their daughter, even before I started dating my fiancé. They invite her to family events and ask her to do things with/for them that they used to do with me.
It really frustrates me that they want to spend time with me only on their terms claiming they had made plans with this other girl a long time in advance and tomorrow night is the only time they have for me. I really wanted a romantic evening with my fiancé, or at least to thave him have dinner with all of us, but they want nothing of it.
2007-12-13 03:47:41 · 11 answers · asked by Texarican 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like you have some jealousy issues, and it sounds like your parents want to spend your birthday with you. At least they aren't putting you off and doing your birthday later, because they want to spend time with the other young lady. Be grateful, and stop whining
2007-12-13 03:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you, I would tell them exactly how you feel. Its not right that you fiance cannot partake in your birthday because they do not want him there...its your birthday! Its also not right to invite someone that is NOT family to a family event if your fiance cannot be included. If they are not too happy with this, then tell them you have made other birthday plans and would like to celebrate your bday with them another night. But ultimately if they want to treat this young woman like their daughter, then there is really nothing you can do about it. You are 28 years old and an adult and they need to give you that respect.
2007-12-13 04:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a grown adult and your upset because your parents have a new freind they treat like a daughter?Honey maybe she is a relative and you dont know about it?I knew a man who would go visit his Dad and his Dad was embarrassed because he was the result of an affair so he never told his kids who this guy was.Their Brother! Also maybe she is a dear freind they made and she really needs them.You should not be jealous.I dont know why they dont want dinner with your fiance they are probly just really busy.
2007-12-13 05:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there :)
Try to keep in mind that you might have taken your parents for granted in the past. Sounds like you have great parents who have given you a lot. Many others do not have what you have. I'm sure they have been there for more of your birthdays than you can count on your fingers and hands!
It's okay to share with others who may not have what you have had with others. In other words, try to 'give half away'. Try working with them on when they can do dinner. Be generous - how generous? It really is up to you. Hope this helps. :)
2007-12-13 03:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jeri Tarot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really weird situation. Maybe they are trying to replace something that this girl doesn't have? And don't know how bad it bothers you. Maybe you could just tell them, Ok, when you have time for me and my fiance, then let me know and we will make plans. And ask them straight out what the deal is with this young woman and why they can't include your fiance?
2007-12-13 03:55:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown woman, and can do what you want. Your real issue here is that someone else has taken your place.
My confusion is why your parents are excluding your fiance who is going to be their new son. Sounds like they don't like him.
Your parents are sending a message that has some ugly connotations. I think you and your fiance need to sit down with them and have a conversation about what is going on.
And this "girl" from the office they have replaced you with, what's going on with that? Does that sound normal to you?
2007-12-13 03:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start as you mean to go on. Tell them you come as a pair or not at all. They are trying to divide you.
They sound like very controlling parents who are playing
you off against this girl your dad works with.
Don't let them do it, you are 28 not 8
You fiance is your future, your loyalties lie with him.
2007-12-13 03:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that you agree to have dinner with them on your birthday but your fiance is part of the family now and he will be there! he is going to be a huge part of your life and they need to understand that as for the other women i wouldnt worry about it too much maybe she has had a hard life and has no family so your parents are trying to show her what its like to be in a family i wouldnt feel threatened by this.
2007-12-13 03:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by crazylady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is not right for them to do that, i know how you are feeling because i am sort of going through the same thing, but not as bad, i would get mad if they dont want to spend time with me if i was you, and they only want to spend time with you on their time that is completely messed up, i always say whatever if you dont have time for me, the next time that they want to spend time with you, just say you are to busy, and see how they like it if you tell them that, if they get mad let them, because the way they have been treating you is completely messed up. well good luck and happy early birthday
2007-12-13 03:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds suspicious. I think the only way you're going to figure it out is if you talk to them about it.
2007-12-13 03:51:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋