What should i think about this PLEASE answer Mature answers only?

Question

ok this is going to sounds strange
last week I was snooping(i know its wrong) in boyfriends email account. (We live together) and I found out that he made an account on a website for gay guys. he had pictures of his penis posted as a profile. he also had a secret email account where he was talking about blow jobs with some person. I comfronted him about it and he said he was embarrased and that he did it because he wanted to know he was sexy still (because i dont make him feel sexy) and that hedid it on a gay web site because he felt like it wasnt cheating because hes not gay if he had of done it where girls would reply that would be cheating. he promised to stop and not do it anymore. but i continued to snoop and found that emails were still being checked in both the secret account and the gay site account. he told me that he promised he wasnt checking them. and then yesterday I found another profile of him on a dating website (woman) he said he didnt make it but it had same passwor

Answer 1

ditch him hes cheating, please dont be blind

Answer 2

Are you a man or woman? I'm guessing your a woman..so I think that you should break up with this guy no matter how much it hurts before he breaks your heart...once he has proven that he is not on these sites anymore fine...but you shouldn't really be snooping around in his stuff! I would absolutely hate that! If he decides he is gay let him be! Don't be angry don't kill him (not literally, you know what I mean) just accept his decision and move on! It's not the end of the world. I don't mean to sound corny, but there are lots more fish in the sea! Confront him again and tell him straight...ARE YOU GAY? This is the only way I'm afraid? You need to know and he needs to tell you sometime or another? The relationship will carry on until you have deeper feelings for him and then when he tells you he's gay the whole thing will go tipsy-turvy (or whatever you say!) so stop the whole thing and ask him the simple question! I definitely would do this in your shoes!

Answer 3

Hi,
He is being irresponsible and dishonest to you. He is also not respecting you now.
If he had felt that he was not feeling sexy anymore with you, he should have talked to you. And it is not that you have to make him feel sexy, dont believe it and dont feel guilty about it. If he had felt any problem in your sexual relation, the first thing he should have done is to talk to you, discuss it with you and find solutions that you both you could put in place to make him feel better. He did not do it. So, he is irresponsible to you.
Instead of discussing the problem, If at all, with you, he went and looked at gay sites and now a dating site. That does not show any respect for you.
And after you found it and he agreed he would not do it again, he did it again. So, he is being dishonest to you.
I think he does not deserve you. I actually cannot agree to the fact that you snooped around, but, I feel you must have had some strong reason to believe he was not being right to you and that is why you did it. Luckily you could find that your suspicions were correct.
You should think now that he is no more dependable. And you should move on. It may be hurtful, but, you can base this decision on how much you love him and how much you you feel he loves you. I dont think he loves you much because in relations any kind of problems can happen, anyone can feel low or less happy anytime. But if that person turn to other avenues of happiness, it is only after the love is lost. So, if you love him so much, you can give another chance, but, you may get hurt again. If you dont want to take any chance, please move on. I am sure you must be already quite affected. Take care of yourself. Dont get into blame games or abusive sessions, that will make you more affected. Try to avoid relations with new guys also for a while until you feel better and healed. Then move on and enjoy your life.
Take care.. All the best..

Answer 4

What do you mean, "what should you think"?
No need to think about anything- your BF is gay. Or bi.
And he's doing whatever somewhere else, and putting
your health at risk.

You need to think with your mind & not your "heart" or emotions. Forget it. Move on. He's a liar & a cheat &
could be you're just being used.

Snooping isn't wrong- If I'd have snooped during my first marriage I would have found out about the guy's gay secret
life, AND the money he was stealing from me, AND the
ex-girlfriend he never really gave up, AND the drugs.

So you see, snooping is merely self-defense...self-preservation.

You have no way of knowing what goes on in someone else's brain. I am respectful of boundaries but where there's smoke there's fire...you were obviously following a hunch or an intuitive feeling that led you to your discovery.
Don't ever doubt your gut intuition.

Answer 5

Wow, Crazylady

I dont know what age your boyfriend is but he is obviously looking for a sexual experience other than with you?

If he does feel insecure then he may well be telling the truth. If he feels the need to put his todger on the web, he may have a complex about it, and is looking for some sort of approval?

Or, he may be so proud of it that he wants to share it with the world.

Alternatively, he may just be a closet homosexual because why talk about blow jobs? I'm assuming this was before you found the straight site?

Either way, I think you should seriously consider if this is the kind of relationship you want?

Good luck

Answer 6

He is obviously needing some attention, or reassurance. Rather than 'snooping', sit him down and talk. No offence, but if you were attending to his self-esteem, he wouldn't need to be made to feel sexy.
If he say's he enjoy's it, then you need to consider, either joining in, or ending the relationship.
If he still say's he is just doing it to feel sexy, you need to take a step back and see what you could do to help him out so he wouldn't need to go on any site.

Everyone is different, personally, weather it is a dating site for men or women, untill he physically does anything with anyone, he has not cheated. Leave the snooping and fix your relationship. Or the snooping will become an issue, and then there will never be happiness between you.

Don't take this personally, if he wanted to hurt you, then he would have cheated by now. Think of this as a relationship improving dilema, you just need to sort it out together.

P.S, loads of straight guys post pics on all sorts of site's it is just not talked about. Sit in a room full of just guys when they are drinking or whatever, that's when the truth comes out.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 7

Ok - straight men don't post profiles or pics of their privates on gay sites in order to "feel sexy". His excuse that it wasn't cheating because he is not gay is actually quite clever... but don't fall for it. If it were true, would he continue to access to the sites and email accounts? It may have started as an easy way to seek attention and get his ego stroked but it seems he is becoming obsessed with it.

He has broken your trust and you need to sit him down and find out exactly what is missing from your relationship that he is trying to find online... Then make some tough decisions. Best of luck....

Answer 8

Honestly it sounds like your guy is bi-curious and that excuse he gave you about he wanted to do it on a gay site because then it won't be considered cheating is absolute BULLS H I T!! AFter you confronted him about it should have been enough for him to stop but him going behind your back with these gay sites and now the women sites are enough to know that he is a cheater, even if just online.
I say let him go because you are wasting your time. You have the signs right in your face.....

Don't be one of those people that can't see the fire because of the smoke

Answer 9

How long have you guys been together? I wouldn't say that he is cheating on you. but, i would tell him that this is making you feel sad. and ask him why he feels the need to do this. I know that you said that he needs to feel sexy, but there are other ways to do with with out the internet. talk to him about closing the accounts with the sites. perhaps you guys need a little more spark in your relationship. don't want to upset you..!

Answer 10

Sounds like he's bi. Either way; doesn't matter if he's on a site targetting men or women, it's still deceitful, and he's lying about it. I would leave him. In your case doesn't matter if he's hanging out with guys or girls he's already proven that he can't be trusted. Without trust, how do you build on a relationship? Also straight men, wouldn't even THINK of going on a gay site and post a profile and especially discuss sexual topics, let alone do it. Open your eyes, it's better to learn this now then later on down the road

Answer 11

Wow, I'm sorry dear but this I wouldn't put up with . I could understand the whole gay guy thing because that isn't like cheating... i was going to say the same thing when i read that part.....
but honestly, the dating website.
My sisters husband did that though just to see if he still had what it took to make a girl interested in him. I guess beacuse he's 27 with 4 kids and he just wanted to know. (yeah all those kids are for my sister) but he wasn't going on dates or anything... i think it was an early mid-life crisis.

I would tell him that you think it's cheating now because he's on the dating website and you honestly are starting to not trust him. See what happens after you tel him this!