How to mend a relationship between family and bf?

Question

Hi,

Is there anything that I could do to try to mend the relationship between my bf and my family.

Here are the facts:
When I was pregnant my bf dumped me and when he tried to get back with me my family (mom and sister) would not let him near me. Out of stupidity and bad advise I terminated my pregnancy. When my bf found out he got really upset at me and my family (mother and sister) but we got back together without my family knowing. Two weeks after we got back together when he was drunk he hit me for doing what I did and I had to tell my father. My father got very disappointment in me and but has been understanding.

Now that we want to try to work it out again I don't know what to do to keep both my family and him happy. I don't know how to approach my parents about me trying to get back with him.

Is there a right way to try to fix this? How long after all this should I wait to approach my parents?

Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

You need to stand up for yourself and your beliefs though. It sounds like you let your family rule your life. Take their concerns into consideration, but don't live your life the way they tell you to, only you can decide what is best for your life. I am not sure you are mature enough for a relationship - to recklessly terminate a life because it is not convenient at the time? It's time to take responsibility for your life and for your actions, quit giving this control to others - there are no excuses.

Your family loves you and they have every right to be concerned. They want to see you in a stable, happy, loving relationship. To watch the guy run when you fell pregnant says nothing but terrible things about the kind of person he is. You can't trust him, and they don't want to trust him with their loved ones life. There are absolutely no excuses for hitting someone either, especially someone that you love... this is a sign of danger. Really think about all the pain he has brought to your life before you choose him over your family. Can you depend on him?

Answer 2

If you were my daughter and you made these repeated bad choices I would tell you that it is your life, and your decisions are your. However I was not rescuing you again.

This boy is irresponsible, he's a drunk and he's violent. I think you need to do some serious soul searching to figure out why you hate yourself so much that you think this is what you deserve.

You didn't make a mistake terminating your pregnancy. You aren't mature enough to raise a child and no child should have someone like your b/f as a father. You did what a mother should do, made the best choice for your child. The mistake you made was having unprotected sex with a drunken, violent loser.

I suggest you listen to your parents, and if you don't, remember that you made the conscious choice not to, so you know exactly where the blame lies when you come to realize that you didn't do the right thing for yourself.

Answer 3

hun you really need to sit down and think this out ... do you really want to be with a man that left you when you two became pregnant ?but most of all ... do you want to be in a relationship when he gets drunk or angry he is going to hit you ... beat you ... ? ... do you not think that he will think about you terminating the pregnancy ever again ? is he going to hit you every time or is he constantly going to throw this in your face ... really consider if you want this or not ...

Answer 4

the man hit you and you want your parents to except him it sounds like a very unhealthy relationship boyfriends come and go but family is for ever

Answer 5

Have a sit-down with all parties and get everything out in the open, hopefully it won't come off like a Jerry Springer episode.