I'm biracial (a minority nonetheless)....
and she always treated me with great disrespect, but I never cared because she was from *that generation*, so i pooh poohed it....
Now she's dying, and isn't expected to live. Everyone is visiting her in the hospital and my boss is asking me if I am going.....I never liked her and she never liked me...it BURNED HER UP when I bought a house in an exclusive neighborhood (which BTW she lives in too)
Should I visit her?
2007-12-13 02:57:12 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes , You should.
Simply put, she's dying and you are NOT from that generation.
2007-12-13 03:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by Blue 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Sometimes the last thing you would ever do should be the first thing you ought to do. Former governor of Alabama George Wallace was a highly visible proponent of segregation, and was easily the black man's greatest enemy during the 1960s. He was the victim of an assassination attempt during his bid for president in the early 70s; after being shot he was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. (His attacker was white) All of his supporters fell by the wayside and deserted him. The only people he could find that embraced him and cared for him were the very people he despised: black folks. I was a child when all of this happened, so the entire spectacle made no sense to a child's sensibilities. But I have come to learn that there is no particular honor or challenge in being friendly to those who are friendly to you. God challenges us to love those who hate us...in this way, hearts are transformed, lives are changed, and those old attitudes die away in time. Visit her...it will be good for her, and good for you as well. Grow in grace, and lift where you stand.
2007-12-13 03:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would go to pay my last respects to HER. Why? Because while you owe HER nothing, you owe YOURSELF the opportunity to make peace with this woman. This peace can be achieved simply by going to her bedside and wishing her a pleasant journey to the other side. Remember that life is for the living and you still have some time on earth. Live the rest of your time as the person YOU want to be.
2007-12-13 03:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person with a despicable trait like racism may also have characteristics which are admirable, like courage, sweetness of temper, industry, fairness, honesty, helpfulness, and so on. You may not have seen this person's good side, but you trust that Our Creator does not make junk. You pay a respectful good-bye visit to show respect for Our Creator, to show respect for those who DO care deeply about the dying person, and because you are kind and wise rather than petty and mean. Go make your peace with this woman.
2007-12-13 03:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just send her a card if you feel like doing something Christian -- but you don't want to visit her in person because she has been very racist to you.
It sounds like you have turned every cheek you have had for this lady and shown her love & respect that you didn't receive back.
I don't see why you would have to go see her unless you feel like everyone at work would judge you as the one person who didn't go see "Immogene".(whatever her name is)
Otherwise just pray for this lost racist woman.
2007-12-13 07:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by kjay_39 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when people are dying, they search their consciences and repent of their unkindnesses to others. But if she hasn't, your presence there would probably irritate her. You don't need to go. Those visits should only be made to comfort friends, not as an expectation of a job. Make some polite excuse, and try to forgive her from afar.
2007-12-13 03:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by RE 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes, do what is right
she has to answer for the things she has done...not you
you live for yourself and do what you know is right
just go in and pay your respects and leave
you dont have to sit there all day or for hours
just let her know that you're sorry that she is very ill (even if you dont mean it) just show kindness and that you will keep her in your thoughts (good or bad.....she'll be in your thoughts)
2007-12-13 03:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't do it to look good in fron of others.. or because you think your boss is making you go.. is relly up to you. It is sad, to know she is dying, and that is life, depending in a overall situation I would prob go, offer her my prayers..but again it really needs to come from your heart. just don't rule it on the way she treated you.. remember you pay back with kindness.
2007-12-13 03:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by GIGI 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can go and whisper in her ear 'ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch." im just joking don't do that....Maybe you should and tell her that "though we didn't see eye to eye I just want you to know that as a human being i do care for you and came to see how you are doing." Thats it if she gets nasty just look at her as if she is dumb and walk away. Cause right there you showed her that you are a kind and compassionate person who is actually better than her. But then again if you don't want to don't go either, she isn't anything to you really, she isn't family or a friend or even a friend's friend, she is just a nasty woman who worked with you.
2007-12-13 03:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by 2legit2quit 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you should. You need to rise above the issue. Someone is dying that you work with despite the fact that they are racist. Sometimes people are ignorant based on the way that they have grown up and what they know of culture. It is sad, but it is a part of life. Do not stoop to someone elses level, as you are making yourself prejudice against someone else for their beliefs. Does that make sense? Pay your respects and free your conscience.
2007-12-13 03:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
There was an older gentleman who worked with my husband. Carl was his name. Carl was racist , and did not hide it. The thing with Carl is, my husband is a great man, and judge of character. (he saw that Carl was just a simple man living what he was taught as a child) He not only did not let Carl's racism influence him, but he helped Carl by talking to him and basically killing him with kindness. on Carl's b-day I personally made him a cake.(I swear, my husband told him ahead of time that I was making the cake and he requested "white only"-no joke) Took the cake to the job and had everyone sing the song. Well black or purple, Carl now has a love for this black family.
2007-12-13 03:06:08 · answer #11 · answered by Tamm 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋