Subject: Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield ....
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time
an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she
won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home. 'I went
over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, 'Are you
going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate my self now.'
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you
put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off .
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the
roaches hang themselves.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?'
He said, 'Because you came home early.'
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had
anything to play with.
2007-12-13 01:52:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hahahha!! Brilliant! Thanks for that!
2007-12-13 21:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by WelshDragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this one?
My wife asked me to take out the garbage.
We were in a motorhome, doing 60 mph on I95.
2007-12-13 02:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by ed 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do. He grew to become into humorous. I even have this previous cassette tape from the early 80's of one of his stand-up shows. It nonetheless works and that i nonetheless pay attention to it at times. thank you, now you place a computer virus up my butt and that i prefer to confirm "consumer-friendly money" yet i don't have it and don't think of my community video keep does the two. I bought my replica at a backyard sale. damn.
2016-11-26 19:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved the movie Back To School. He was a classic
2007-12-13 01:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by Gilly137 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was hilarious! Joan Rivers, too. I like that rapid-fire delivery, every line a winner!
2007-12-13 01:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a question for us somewhere in there?
2007-12-13 01:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
and yet still, no respect
2007-12-13 01:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by Brad R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i realy miss rodney , thanks 4 the reminder . thye'll never b another .
2007-12-13 04:01:38 · answer #8 · answered by robert c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋