my brother in law has totally different values to me, and my husband wants to spend xmas day with his parents, my brother in law walked out on his 3 kids [by different partners] and doesn't do anything with them ,but on xmas day he will make a show of giving them hundreds of pounds of presents and make out he is the best parent in the world.I have been very ill all year and am still not well and am depressed , i just cant cope with the falseness my kids will have made all our presents as we havent much money, its making me dread xmas, any ideas[ my father in law is terminally ill and may be his last xmas , so we need to be there,]
2007-12-12 23:08:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
just ignore him, he is doing a good job of making an a rse out of him self on his own, just keep to yourself and your kids because it is most definatley not your place to comment.
2007-12-12 23:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Smoochy Poochy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
relax! don't let the arrogant sod ruin it all for you. you've got a loving family & a loving heart; you want to be with dad in law on possibly his last Christmas, that's far more valuable than hundreds of pounds spent but not thought about. personally, i love hand-made presents & money (or not) doesn't come into it. it's only 1 day & i'm sure his kids see through him as well! kids aren't daft & he's fooling no one but himself. in a way he's to be pitied; he's the loser now & will always be unless he gets his act together. just give him pitying looks when he brags & show him you're not impressed. he might get the message! diane.
2007-12-13 21:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by diquarry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rise above him, I'd be tempted to hit him over the head with a piece of 4by4 wood, but I expect he'd still rebound and get up again soon after, I know people in my family who act in a similar way and its best just to ignore them, spend precious time focusing on your ill father and making it as good a Christmas it can be under the circumstances rather than worrying about that plonker!
2007-12-13 00:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by Rainbowz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it hun, you are a decent person and you need to rise above it. I know he annoys you so much but even if he were to change, it isnt going to change on christmas day, try your best to relax and make you father-in-laws christmas a nice one hun. Let the annoying borther in law get on with it, no doubt everyone knows he does the same every year anyway. Wishing you well hun.
2007-12-12 23:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and he are totally different people. You have your unique values and he has his. Live yours and ignore his because they are irrelevant to you - ignore him.
It might be harder for your kids to get hand made presents at the same time his are getting expensive ones. Why dont you have a christmas presentation of presents from yourself to your kids prior to going over to their place - it could be a demonstration of your values and love and not an upsetting comparison of presents.
2007-12-12 23:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by pete the pirate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand how you feel I have a sister who is very materialistic and how do I cope with it by telling myself this, she re-mortgaged her house (last year) just before xmas and that's how she does it through loans and getting debt I don't we may not have as much but at least I'm not paying it back, this year I'm not speaking to her and I'm so relieved I don't have to put up with it.
2007-12-13 21:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Wide Awake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The spirit of christmas is love, you raise your kids to appreciate it with what they have got. This father thinks that lots of money at one time a year is going to substitute a father figure but it wont, they'll resent him for trying to buy their affection.
2007-12-12 23:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by a beautiful lie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to cope such people is to ignore totally.
2007-12-12 23:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too good to be worrying about him.Put him out of your mind and get on with making it nice for the children.
2007-12-12 23:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
His kids will eventually catch on to him. Sit back and wait for it to happen.
2007-12-12 23:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋