my bf and i have been together for almost 3 years (3 yrs in feb). he's 29-no kids, never married. i'm 28 w/3 little girls (ages 8,6,and 5) that i have part-time. we talked about getting married and living together about a year and a half ago. just last week he asked me to move in with him when my lease is up at my apt at end of Feb. I'm SO excited. over the past few months my kids have been spending the nite at his house to get us all used to living like a family and my cat moved in with him too.
i told him a long time ago that one of my conditions to moving in together was we had to be engaged first (i didnt want to send my kids the wrong message) and he agreed.
christmas is right around the corner and he hasn't asked me what i want yet (which he normally does long before now). do you think my ring is coming?!! my birthday is in Feb to so it might be then...
my basic question is do you think he will obey my wishes and propose before i move in w/him?!!!
2007-12-12 21:24:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
forgot to mention that our 3 yr anniversary is Feb 14th...
BUT i am curious as to why he hasn't asked me what i want for christmas yet....
2007-12-12 21:25:05 · update #1
You don't want to send your kids the wrong message but you're living with a man before marrying him?! Even though you may be engaged at that time, you're still living together like a married couple before being married. On top of that, nothing will be different once you're married except for a pair of rings and a piece of paper.
As far as getting engaged goes... he may or may not be looking to ask you to marry him. He may hope that in the moment you'll move in with him and forget the condition that you put on it. Why don't you talk to him? Relationships are about communication. Haven't you discussed marriage and a possible time to get married? My fiance and I did before we got engaged. It didn't ruin the surprise for me and we felt we were ready to get engaged when he asked, even before then. Some people don't ask what you want for Christmas after a few years because they figure they know you well enough. He may surprise you for Christmas with a ring. I would think February would be too late. You've agreed to move in with him and the process has already begun. When this came up you should have made mention that you want to be engaged first instead of agreeing to move in and not reminding him of your condition.
2007-12-12 23:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just wanted to add that I think you should be wary of moving in until you are at least engaged, what if you move in and he doesn't pop the question? Things could go downhill fast, and the girls will be mortified- not to mention they'll have to forget about this man they are LIVING WITH. I do not think this is a good idea, I think when there are children involved things need to be very clear for their emotional wellbeing. Good luck dear and happy holidays!
2007-12-13 00:08:53 · answer #2 · answered by hmm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move in with him until after Febuary. If he doesn't ask you to marry him at all before you move in then it wouldn't be a good idea. Also you should set a date before you move in also so you know he is very serious. That way for example if he asks you to marry him and then set a date to marry him later that year or next then you could move in together.
2007-12-13 02:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You ARE sending your kids the wrong message by not being married FIRST, then moving in together. Shacking up just doesn't cut it. Proposing isn't enough of a commitment when you SHOULD ONLY be thinking of your children.
2007-12-12 22:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe he already knows what he wants to get your for christmas and that's why he didn't ask you what you want.
there are plenty of good dates to ask btwn xmas and your move in date.
have you reminded him recently of your "wishes" or was the last time you said you wanted to be engaged before moving in a year and a half ago? he might have forgotten.
my magic eight ball says the signs are good for it but we can't predict what will happen.
best of luck with it all
2007-12-12 21:42:14 · answer #5 · answered by nataliexoxo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with Christina and I'm male. Not all of us are as noble as we should be. Reinforce that you don't want to live together without marriage and have someone else let him know that you need longer than 2 weeks to give notice you are moving.
2007-12-12 21:37:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sid B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he knows the conditions andstill asks you to move in, then he must think you and him should get married. Just hold to his promise. some men feel if they get you where they want you and you move in and then he does not hold up on his side but then your stuck he feels he has won.
2007-12-12 21:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by CHRISTINA E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if your that desperate to get engaged PROPOSE TO HIM!!
2007-12-12 21:47:32 · answer #8 · answered by FraggedRabbit 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it does sound that way....
good luck! and congratulations!
2007-12-12 23:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋