my brother whenever drunk beats me up. Should i call the police or put up so um & dad wouldn't be upset?

Question

my parents know this, but they do nothing. I cried so many times and told them i wanted to move out. They were upset and said if i do they'd not support me financially in Uni, or living expense.

Now i've thought of suicide many times and actually did once or twice, but got caught and they tried to not let me do this.

I want to call the police. But do u think it would be too cruel? I mean, he might be stressed out at work, and with a few drinks, he can't control himself.

I never thought of calling the police, until this afternoon, when he strangled me. But i don't want to call the police.

Do u think stabbing myself would be the best and smoothest way to end all this? Cuz i used pills before, got caught, and ended up in the hospital. When my parents took me home from the hospital they grounded me, and verbally assaulted me more.

My grades have always been straight A. Everyone thinks i have successful life. I guess if i die they would realize how successful they are.

I'm doing medicine, just finished 1st year Uni. It's $20'000/year for overseas student (I came from Asia, and studying overseas). My parents care a lot about prestige, they don't want people seeing the police come to the house. My brother's the older and only son in the family, so they care the least for me, as he'll keep on their surname.

My name is Ley.

Answer 1

Dear Ley, thank you for asking.

If you want to live in a healthy stress-free environment instead of waiting for another crisis to arise at home in order to call the police, then what you need foremost is to contact a college counselor immediately as soon as possible the very next time you're on campus and tell the college counselor that you desperately need a "Grant" and then FULLY explain your dysfunctional family situation to the college counselor and the college counselor will then help you to obtain the funds you need to move out of your dysfunctional family environment and into a safe and healthy place of your own. "Grants" are special and are not like student loans, "Grants" are donations made by donors who do not want anything in return, the donors are people who are willing to help those who are eligible and in need of a "Grant" such as yourself. "Grants" are somewhat like secrets. When a student asks for financial assistance college counselors will automatically talk about student loans but will almost never-ever mention the word "Grant" unless the student is the first one to mention the word "Grant" first. Then the college counselor will immediately and automatically bring out a list of different "Grants" donated by different donors for different "Causes". I can assure you that there will be a certain "Grant" for abused women such as yourself and the college counselor will do everything to help you obtain such a "Grant" as soon as they know of your dire situation. If you are going to be on the University campus some time today, then today is the time when you need to contact a college counselor so the counselor can help you to secure a "Grant" as soon as possible so that you can get a safe place to live as soon as possible. Chances are they'll set you up at a college dormitory but if the dormitories are already filled to capacity then they'll simply help you to secure an off-campus safe place to live and give you enough monthly funds to cover all of your basic living needs. Based on what you've said thus far, I've no doubt whatsoever that you are eligible and qualify for a "Grant" that will likely cover your tuition, books & supplies, rent, food, and all other typical household expenses so that you can be free to put your attention and concentration upon your studies.

Your dysfunctional family situation looks to fit the socio-psychological model to a capital "T" as Dr. JOSEPH BERKE, psychiatrist and author describes it:
"LONG BEFORE I EVER HEARD OF MARY BARNES, I HAD BEGUN TO REALIZE THAT WHAT IS COMMONLY CALLED 'MENTAL ILLNESS' IS NOT AN 'ILLNESS', OR 'SICKNESS' (ACCORDING TO THE PREVAILING MEDICAL-PSYCHIATRIC USE OF THE TERM), BUT AN EXAMPLE OF EMOTIONAL SUFFERING BROUGHT ABOUT BY A DISTURBANCE IN A WHOLE FIELD OF SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS, IN THE FIRST PLACE, THE FAMILY. IN OTHER WORDS, MENTAL ILLNESS REFLECTS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN A DISTURBED AND DISTURBING GROUP OF PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN INTERNALIZED IN AND BY A SINGLE PERSON. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, A PERSON DIAGNOSED AS MENTALLY ILL IS THE EMOTIONAL SCAPEGOAT FOR THE TURMOIL IN HIS/HER FAMILY OR ASSOCIATES, AND MAY, IN FACT, BE SANEST MEMBER OF THIS GROUP."
[My Note: Mary Barnes was a patient of Dr. Laing's and later became famous described as 'an ambassador for Laing' and co-authored a book with Joseph Berke who was the resident psychiatrist. She also became a respected artist painting evocative works based on her experiences and died in 2001.]

I wish you well, Ley, and thanks again for asking. Tsark out.

(A copy of this has been emailed to you -- No Reply Necessary.)

Answer 2

Call 1 800 273 TALK

Do not hurt yourself!

If your brother hurts or threatens you. Call the police. If you can, leave the house and go to a restaurant or someplace public and call the police from there. Call a domestic violence hotline. They will help you. You will have to be strong and your family will probably not understand, but you can do this.

If you have friends let them know what is going on, tell their parents.

How old are you, and your brother that this is going on? He must be at least 21 to be drinking. Old enough to move out on his own. And you? Are you of legal age? Old enough to move out if you have to? Straight A's must mean you are up for a scholarship or two? Can you get by without your parents' help? I think you may have to, if your life is hanging in the balance.

Please get some help. You can get through this, but you have to decide suicide is not an option and start making some tough choices instead. Good luck.

Answer 3

By not reporting or doing anything about it you & your parents are sending the message thats its ok, & with the situation obviously escalating (re attempted strangling) you run the risk of it becoming a police issue soon & you having no say in the matter.
REPORT IT NOW for both you & your families sake, otherwise 1 day he'll pick the wrong target & lose badly whether in court or @ the time, & you may not survive to see it.
Damage to yourself is not the solution, & you have rights too, your parents are accessories to whats going on by allowing it to happen, face them down & dont pull the punches, get something (and some long overdue respect) for yourself & get out of there if need be, if worst comes to worst theres legal recourse to get support from them if you really want to live on campus.

Answer 4

Do not make excuses for anybody that beats you up. Report it immediately, not just for your sake and your parents sake, but for your brothers sake., He needs help. CRUEL? What do you think you are going through. If you do not do something positive about your situation, you will be allowing somebody who needs help, to continue and maybe hurt somebody else in the future. Go to a relative, the Social Services. One day go out with some of your things and don't go back, move in with a friends or trusting relative.

Look forward to your life, you can make choices to create a wonderful life for your self. Don't let negative people pull you down,. It will not hurt them if you do anything rash, it will only hurt others that do love you, friends, relatives etc.

Walk down that street, into the police station. Hold your head up high and report your brother and your parents.

Make something of your life. You are a unique individual who has the potential to have your own family, and a happy, successful life. People that have gone through more than you are going through at the moment, have made themselves a wonderful life, because they were determined not to let anybody pull them down into a hole.

Look at Oprah, she was terribly abused when a child and came from a poor family. If she can do it, so can you/

Answer 5

First thing you need to do is talk to some one at your school and let them know your being abused. File charges against your brother and ask for a TRO. that is short for a Temporary Restraining Order. There is no justification for him getting drunk and assaulting you, I don't care how bad his week was. 24 hours in the drunk tank might make him see the error of his ways, if not the court ordered rehab and counseling might. As for the parents, WTF? you all need family counseling ask the judge to court order it.
There is nothing in your life that cant be fixed, and killing your self is not an answer.

Ah your an Asian family that explains a lot about the parents attitude. There is a good chance your brother could and would be deported if arrested, you might want to point that out to your father if he is so conserned about family appearances. You have all the power here, one word from you and brother is on a one way flight back home. Time to let him know who's boss.

Answer 6

If it extremely is a real tale, i'm sorry, yet on your individual secure practices, i could placed you under "residing house arrest" with an ankle bracelet if I had to. I very nearly elect to applaud your father and your brothers. i know it is not good to flow beat somebody as much as even the score, yet i will very nearly see why they did it. They love you. Do you particularly think of somebody that LOVES you're able to hit you, Doll? Do you think of somebody that CARED in case you have been alive or lifeless could placed you out on the line in the wee hours of the morning and inform you to stroll? i could flow to despite ability attainable to maintain you removed from this individual. he's undesirable information. It would not get extra powerful, it basically gets worse, and the subsequent ingredient you realize a eye-catching youthful woman is got here upon lifeless. Get your self collectively. stop loving somebody else extra beneficial than you like your individual self. somebody that particularly loves you and respects you will never elect to harm you! There are a million "Zaks" available, that isn't hit you. Ditch this loser and are available across a form of. individually, at 14 i think of you're somewhat too youthful for any boyfriend, extremely once you have made it sparkling on your strikes which you will no longer make smart judgements. once you're extremely "mature on your age", then strengthen up sufficient to do the excellent ingredient, Sweetheart.

Answer 7

Me' I am more of a hands on kind of person. A little calculating. Here is what i would do. I would wait for him to come in drunk. When he laid down in his drunken stupor i would roll him up in the bed sheet and start at his heals with a T ball bat and work my way up to his head. Don't hit him in the head to hard. You don't want to kill him. You just want to make sure he remembers what happens when he messes with you. When you get to his head roll him back over on his back. Start at his nose and work your way to his toes. I can almost guarantee that when he gets out of the hospital he will have a new found respect for his sister. If they call the police to you that could be the best thing that ever happened to you. You get out of there house and he gets what he deserves.

Hurting yourself will not get you anywhere but dead. Don't let them win. If your dead they win. You keep going the way your going. You may have to put up with this for a while. Keep your grades up and when you turn 18 and graduate get out of there house and never go back. The best way to get them back is show them your better. You get a good job that pays well enough to pay rent and everything else you need. You do that then you have beat them at there own game. Then you can rub there noeses in it. Because you turned out better than your drunk brother& your mom and dad.

You didn't say how old you are. If your old enough get a job and get out. Finish school and show them what you can do.

Answer 8

What planet are you living on girl? There is NO excuse for anyone to be hitting you. If you don't stand up to him now then you are probably setting yourself up for abusive relationships in the future. Also, what about your brother's future girlfriends and maybe wife and kids? He needs help or he will seriously hurt someone in the future, or worse. Go and get some counselling away from the family and take their advice. Moving out will keep you safe but it will not help your brother's behaviour. Don't wait another day! Good Luck.

Answer 9

suicide is not going to be a solution to anything. you may think that you're escaping from everything but you're really not. i'm sure it will hurt your entire family if you are gone, especially your friends and everyone that is close to you. i would say for you to move out asap but find a job so that you can support yourself if your parents aren't willing to. i don't see why they won't help you out though, especially if they've seen what your brother does to you. if you don't want to move out, calling the police would be the next best thing i suppose? i can understand that you don't want to get your brother in trouble but it's not right for him to be abusing you for no reason just because you're there at a bad time when he is drunk. why don't your parents do anything?

Answer 10

call the police, thats completely wrong. it doesn't matter if he's stressed or not. if your parents protest there are places that you can go. we have somethimg called the holten house where batterd women go to get out of abusive relationships. you didn't say if you were a woman or not, but theres always someplece that you can go. police have infomation, so should you school counsler (if your in school). if you parents know then you should leave, every city or state has assistance programs for rent and food and stuff. i'd f-ing leave, because if you don't he's going to kill you. or you might snap and shoot him or something, then you'd be in trouble. he's in the wrong, so are you parents.

Answer 11

Wait until he attacks you again. Then, break one of his legs, and both of his arms, and THEN call the police so he can sit in jail awhile. THEN call social services, and report your parents for not protecting you from your brother. Why should you die because your brother is a jerk? The next time anyone tries to strangle you, reach up and shove your thumbs hard into their eyes...blinding them for life. They will release you, and you can run away to call police. Being stressed out does not give anyone the right to assault you. He chooses to drink, so he is responsible for what he does when drunk. Personally, I'd break: both his arms, both his legs, at least half of his ribs, his jaw, and his skull. If he survived he'd be in a full body cast for a few months. If he failed to learn that lesson, and attacked me again after healing, I'd shoot him to death.