I am a 21 year old college student. I find that I can get a date with almost anyone I ask, this hasn't been a problem for almost a year. The problem is I don't have a clue what I am doing after the first one...when you enter that muddled and confused stage where no one knows where they stand. I feel like I drive girls off by calling them too much.
Example: girl I've known for about two years, not hung out with her too much, went on a group date, has been too busy since then. I've asked her to hang out four times in the past two weeks, and each time she was "busy." I'm pretty sure she's not interested now. My main question is this: is she not interested because I was too persistent perhaps, or do you think she was never interested?
2007-12-12 19:01:44 · 5 answers · asked by Dan in Real Life 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, Oracle, I was specific in asking her to hang out. I invited her to dinner at a friend's place, to a midnight breakfast put on by our school. She said she was really busy, so the last time I asked her when she was available. She said she wasn't.
2007-12-12 19:13:31 · update #1
Hey Dan-
If you have asked her out four times and each time she has been too busy then I would guess ( as you have) that she is just not interested. If after you asked her out the first time she said "I am too busy right now but will be free after such and such date but lets definitely go out." then she clearly sent a signal that she was interested and then you may have pushed her away with your over eagerness. However, if she simply replied that she was busy without adding any extra encouragement then I would take it as a sign that she was never interested. The thing about women is if we really want to date someone, no matter how busy we are we will find the time. And the man who is really " it" for us can never call too much. All women will say that pursuing us too much will make us back away. But rarely are they talking about the man that they really wanted to catch them.
Like you said, you can get a date with almost anyone. So why wonder about the one woman who did not make the time in her life for you? Don't spend energy on someone who would not do the same for you in return. You deserve better.
2007-12-13 03:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Joy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calling too much can be a turn off. But also, the girl could just be busy, I just finished finals so maybe she is going through that too. Try to not call again until she calls you, if shes used to getting a phone call from you she might wonder whats up and miss you! Good luck!
2007-12-13 03:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Susan F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if you are doing something wrong. For that particular example, it seems that you weren't pursuing her that much.
At times when you two met, did she show any signs of interest? Did you get the 'more the friends' vibes from her? Maybe the long period of time gave her the impression that you are not interested?
I hope that was helpful :)
2007-12-13 12:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by HopeH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing she wasn't that interested to start with. You only went on one group date before. Did you get any kind of signs on that date that she might be interested?
2007-12-13 03:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok instead of just asking a chick to just hang out, have something to go do, lunch or a movie usually works well. asking her to just hang out is something you would ask one of the guys to do.
2007-12-13 03:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by Oracle Blackrose ( Pagan ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋