Hoarding Disorder?

Question

For years now, I have aknowledged that my home is cluttered. Not that bad but pretty bad in some areas of the house and to the point I am embarassed when people come over.
I always had a problem with cleaning sence I was a child and I now am recalling that my father had the same problem.
Everytime I try to clean I get so overwhelmed and depressed and tell myself I will do it later and wont.
My husband does not make the situation any better. He is famous for finding bargans and garbage picking and making the house worse.
I never understood what the heck our problems were that we can't get the energy to clean the place up!!
I just watched something on TLC about something called Hoarding Disorder? I read a little about it and I'm pretty sure we both share the same problem and I didnt know how serious it can get. I'm scared I am leading in that path but Im sure it's safe to say I am a mild case.
Has anyone ever had to deal with this problem before, and if so, how did you handle it?

Yes, I also read that abuse and moving alot as a child can trigger this as well.
As a matter a fact, I delt with ALOT of abuse growing up (mostly mentaly) and I have moved and been tossed around family to family growing up cause nobody could "handle me".
My husbad delt with mental abuse and watching his father depend on others and stealing, which I read also triggers it.

I do not want this to be an excuse for my reason not doing anything about it. I just need some suggestions on how I can get myself motivated and make my life a little easier on myself and family

Answer 1

My best friend's mom growing up had it, but a mild case. It was strange to me the things she would buy, for no reason, and keep forever. But I have seen television specials on it as well and I understand why someone might develop the disorder. It has a lot to do with control. If you have control over so much stuff, then you have a lot of control. Start with that. Did you or your husband experience times of loss of power when you were kids? Abuse, for example, or even constant moving as a young person can be a trigger. You both might consider seeing a therapist for a few sessions. It can really help you to tap into yourself and figure out how to fix the problem. Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't think you have a hoarding disorder. I just think that you like to be surrounded by things that make you feel comfortable and safe. My mother was the same but I am the opposite of this. I also understand it is difficult to manage when two people are involved.

The first thing you need to decide is if the two of you want to get rid of some of the stuff. If you can agree to work together then it is partly solved. Make a pact that if something new is bought into the house - then something needs to go.

Divide the house into areas such as the corner of the dining room etc. creating smaller and more manageable areas to clean. Make three piles - stuff you really want, stuff you are not sure about and stuff you don't want. Be ruthless. It is also handy to have some big bags or boxes ready to cart the stuff away. Put the stuff you are not sure about away in one of the boxes and store (if possible) somewhere for now. If you do not open the box for 6 months it means you do not need it. Give yourself at least 6 months to do the house - just chip away at it on a weekly basis saying "I will spend two hours cleaning that area this weekend". I hope these suggestions work for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

I personally do not suffer from this disorder but i know of ppl who do and yes it can get very out of hand.It is a form of ocd so rying to break the cycle will take time and patience.
As for cleaning up.....dont look at the entire house and think i will clean everything up that will put you off big time as it is so overwhelming to you pick just one room, and if thats too much then one shelf at a time...when you have accomplished your goal then reward yourself with something that you like...If i were you i would pock out my favourite room and i would work on that...to me it would eitherbe my pc room or my bedroom.I actaully suffer from the oppersiye i clean every day and when the mood strikes i change my rooms around.
As for hubby getting bargains and stuff perhaps chat with him and talk about what you need and dont need.
You could even hire some help to get the house sorted at first but you would then have to keep up the maintanace...but i promise that when you see your home looking like a home given the fact that you say you have this disoder in a mild form ,you will love the clutterless rooms and the space and that would bring a totally different atsmophere to your home...perhaps your treat could be a romantic dinner at home with hubby good luck

Answer 4

You're not alone; there are many of us who've grown up with Compulsive Hoarders. I always used to laugh and tell people my father was a packrat, but inside it wasn't funny. I'm 48 yrs old, and still embarrassed when other people see my father's house. He doesn't realize that he has a problem; to him it's just a matter of "not having enough storage". However, he's got storage lockers and a basement, and still every room in the house is filled with stuff. There's been only a pathway through every room in the house for as long as I can remember. (Even the bathroom!) I can't offer you any solutions to your Mom's problem; I can only tell you that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, and you should never, ever think that any of it has anything to do with you. It's something that you have no control over. All you can do is continue to educate yourself about the problem, and learn how not to become that way yourself. Oh, and sophieb, if you don't know anything about the subject, you shouldn't answer the question.

Answer 5

If you decide you have a disorder then it gives you a reason not to clean up the house. Just set aside a day, take a big breath and get on with it. Once you start making headway you won't be depressed about it any more. Get a skip and get rid of as much stuff as you can - having too much stuff just makes cleaning a chore, the less stuff the less work you will have to do. If you need support ask close friends or family to give you some time to help sort it out - they will probably be delighted to be asked and have been itching to do it for ages. A cluttered house just makes life more difficult - you have to waste loads of time looking for things and feeling bad about how messy it is.

Answer 6

My significant other is a hoarder. I cleaned his bedroom 1 nite while he was at work and when he walked in and seen 3 garbage baggies full of paper and his room cleaned up, I could see a look of terror on his face. He was upset that I had cleaned 1 room. It took me about 4 hours and I was a sweating mess when I got done. His whole house is that way.
I don't go there and I don't clean his house up. Its too much mess. I just let him live in squalor. He hoards everything from canning jars to extension cords. He has 3 freezers full of food and 2 refrigerators. He has a table with piles and piles of clothes on top.
I just stay away. I cannot deal with it. It is definitely getting much worse

Answer 7

It is thought to be related to OCD, so see section 7, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Promise yourself that, every second day, you will spend 5 mns cleaning up; once you start, you may feel like going longer. Also read section 26.

Answer 8

1) Keep the item used back in the same place if re usable.
2)Keep as many as waste baskets at least one in every room and use them.
3)Invite friends for a cup of tea every now and then.
4)Tell yourself you are no more a child and no body need to advice you on keeping your house eat and clean.
5)IF YOU STILL FAIL CONTACT A PSYCHIATRIST AND GET TREATED,Until then employ an MAID to keep YOU HOME neat and tidy.

Answer 9

I know I am not being helpful here, but I'll say, buy the biggest house you can find and gleefully fill it up room by room by room if thats what makes you happy.

Answer 10

it's a form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) get to the Dr, tell HIM/HER what you are doing and get some meds ( it's usually something like Prozac or Wellbutrin) it really clears it up...